“I don’t know.” I shut my eyes. “Please. A few more days, and then I’ll go to them? I just can’t stand another person being that kind of disappointed in me.”
After a moment, when I opened my eyes, Dom nodded his head. “Okay.”
“Thank you.”For everything.
Dom sighed, as if he had heard my unspoken words. His knee dipped to the side into my thigh. “Just eat your mac and cheese.”
I paused, not sure if I should be following his orders more than once already this evening since I had returned home, but the macaroni and cheese was good. It had been nice of him to make it. My little attack had left me drained as well, and this conversation, though enlightening, teetered between comforting and something more than I could probably handle right now.
I wasn’t going to shove it over the edge.
So, I ate. Afterward, I scraped my fork along the round bottom of the white ribbed bowl, and then Dom collected it from my hands and took it to the sink. When I lay back down, my head was empty from its usual swirling thoughts and to-do lists. My stomach only ached from knowing that, tomorrow, it wouldn’t be the same.
I wouldn’t go to work, but I still had to fix this. I had to fix everything I’d ruined.
But everything paused again when I felt a dip back in my bed again. A hand pulled my blankets up higher around my waist, but I didn’t open my eyes. He had to know I was still awake though. For once, however, we were still.
“I am sorry, Ana,” Dom whispered. I could feel his breath, hot against my cheek. “We both did what we had to do.”
The space between my eyebrows pressed together. I hardly understood what he was apologizing for now, but the question came to mind first before I tried to piece it all together.
Did we?
“I’m not a monster, but I shouldn’t have said that stuff to you. Any of it,” he said. He took a deep breath. “Neither are you. We’ll figure it out.”
“This bedtime story sucks.”
“You’re not a disappointment, Ana. You’re not cold or manipulative. I’m sorry if I—”
“Don’t,” I stopped him right there.
“What?”
“Just stop talking.” I didn’t need his pity, and I certainly didn’t need to battle with forgiveness right now because I still wasn’t ready to give it to him. Maybe not ever. “I’m sleeping.”
* * *
“Ana. Ana, your phone is ringing,”Dom whispered in my ear.
I rolled over, directly into his chest. In my bed. I squinted at him. Dom was in my bed, and for a second, my heart raced while my brain was stuck half asleep. Did the past nine months never happen? Was it all just a bad dream? But the sun was almost setting, and I was still wearing my too-tight jeans I had worn to work since I desperately needed to do laundry.
I groaned. “I thought I told you to stop talking.”
“Your phone.”
“Oh.” Taking it out of his hand, I pressed the cold glass screen to my ear. My voice sounded like I’d been drowned by air and tears. I basically had been. “Hello?”
“Ana!”
I rubbed my hand over my eyes. “Hi, Faith.”
“Hi,” said Faith, her voice calming with confirmation. “You’ll be there tonight, right?”
“Tonight? Where?” Sitting up, I realized that I was the only one under the blankets, Dom looking like he must’ve passed out beside me for a few minutes, still halfway sitting up. I lifted the phone away from my ear, making sure I saw the name right even though there was only one person with such a pleasantly squeaky voice that would be calling me. “Um, what’s tonight, Faith?”
“Pottery,” she said, as if it were obvious. “You said you’d go, remember? I asked you at the last coven meeting you showed up to.”
I had said that. That was also two weeks ago. Two weeks on Faith’s calendar usually meant two weeks to never.
