“Because when you do those things or touch me, I remember all the good. I forget the bad, and it gets my stupid hope all riled up before I have to shoot it down so that, once again, I don’t make another mistake, like I did after a stupid baby shower months ago. Like I did last summer.”
Dom didn’t say anything. He froze exactly where he stood.
Had he turned into a statue? Was he making his escape route?
“There,” I said. “That’s what it is. Happy now?”
“Somewhat,” Dom admitted.
He watched me, though his eyes didn’t stray from my face. Then, he took a step.
“What are you doing?”
“It took me hours show up on your doorstep. I paced the streets of this ridiculous town, hoping that you would walk out of work or someone would stop me so that I didn’t have to go back to your apartment. Because I somehow knew you’d still be there. Even then, when I knocked on that door and heard the music playing, just like I remembered it, I prayed that you wouldn’t be the one who answered. Maybe you had moved out. Maybe another man would swing the thing open and send me packing, and I could take the loss. But you were there. I had known you would be,” said Dom, repeating his words. He had just known. “Because I had known I couldn’t walk away that easily. When my life had gone to shit, I had known it could only lead me back to one place.”
“Wow. Thanks.”
“Not like that.” Dom’s face crumpled for a moment as he gathered himself. “It was the first thing I thought of. When everything happened, this was first place I wanted—needed to go. Here. To see you. Cursed or not, all because out of everyone in my entire life, I figured you’d be the one who’s know exactly what to do.”
I blinked at the sound of his words softening.
“What happened at the end of summer and what I said to you … how you weren’t good enough …”
I nearly flinched at the words coming from his mouth all over again.
“I think about that every night when I go to bed and every morning I don’t wake up next to you. I hate what I said to you lasat summer. I hate that I walked out that door. Not one day has gone by that I haven’t regretted it. You haunted me long before you cursed me, Ana.”
I didn’t understand, but I didn’t have to because I couldn’t let this go on. I tried to stop him again.
He didn’t let me.
“It has been torture, watching you practically kill yourself alongside me ever since I showed back up, and I figured that it would be best to keep distance between the two of us. I couldn’t cause you any more pain even if it meant sleeping on your god-awful couch for the rest of my life. But then we were together, drinking coffee and watching movies, and you’re right; it felt like we had slipped back in time for a few minutes.
“Today, I met your family. They’re loyal and a little terrifying, but you do have a very real family where you care for each other, and I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner. And then I looked at Lu and Ryan, and I couldn’t pull my eyes off them holding hands in the crowd. Hands of all things proving to me exactly what you said about them just knowing that they were meant to be together. It all clicked.”
Dom chuckled to himself.
“I wanted that. I’ve always wanted that. If anyone knows that, it’s you. I never didn’t even though I fucked up too. I fucked up a lot, but you know that now. You’re not the only one; I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since the moment I left.”
He needed to stop whatever he was talking about right now. I shook my head, trying to find the words to warn him.
“You’re ruining things.”
We both were.
If he kept going, I knew instantly, deep down inside wherever my soul resided, that this time, tonight, there would be no turning back. I couldn’t say that for him, but for me, I was certain.
“Ruining—” Dom stopped himself from finishing whatever he was about to say as he took a step forward into my space again. His body pressed against the front of mine.
I inhaled, but that only made us closer, my chest clashing into his while my heart raced. “What are you doing?”
“And today, you think I don’t want you in that dress? I’ve been staring at you all day. All week. This entire time, I’ve been living in your little apartment, pretending that this isn’t all tearing me up inside more than you could ever know. You don’t think it took everything I had to just put my hand on your leg? I wanted to grab the back of your neck and kiss you, right then and there. I wanted you to kiss me back exactly like how I remember you kissed me.” asked Dom. “Like you could devour me. Whether or not you realize it, Ana, you ruined me too.”
I stared at him, blinking. Where had this come from? First, he had hated me, and then we were finally friends. Friends or partners or something …
“Even more than that, I want to ruin that dress and rip it off of you right now,” said Dom, low and uneven, as if his voice were being torn up inside.
“Dom—”
