“I guess I’m just doing what I can right now,” I said, trying to mask my irritation. “It’s not always glamorous, but it’s work. And I’m trying to get my foot in the door with bigger projects.”
John’s expression softened, and he leaned back, looking sheepish. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just … well, I guess I was expecting something more. I don’t know.”
I waited.
“I figured my friends who set us up knew my type by now.”
Like how I was now figuring out he certainly wasn’t my type—corporate douche.
“All right then,” I muttered, taking a deep breath.
“I just like someone who is put-together and knowing what they’re doing with their lives at this point—you understand?” His ears flushed as if he was now hearing what he was saying. He quickly started to backpedal. “I didn’t mean it like that. Really. I respect the hustle. You’re just not what I was expecting.”
There was a long, uncomfortable silence before I trusted myself to speak again. “It’s been nice meeting you, John. I’ll let our mutual know that it just didn’t work out, though I appreciate them trying since, externally, you’re very cute. Internally? Ick.”
He startled, like I might as well have wrinkled my nose and held anXout in front of my body to ward him away from me.
“That way, they won’t get yourtypewrong again. But I think you should probably get going so I can get back to work,” I said. “I’m very dedicated to my work after all, even if you don’t see it that way.”
“I didn’t—yeah, of course,” he said quickly, standing. “I’m really sorry about what happened before. I didn’t mean to meet you like that. God, I sound like a complete ass.”
He chuckled. I was glad someone was having a good time.
I raised my eyebrows at him. He didn’t notice for another minute. Strike that. More like a minute and a half.
“I guess we just aren’t a good fit. I can get you another coffee to make up for my rudeness, if you’d like.”
I forced myself to smile tightly. “It’s fine. Thanks though. Have a good day.”
He nodded, looking genuinely apologetic.
I watched as he walked toward the door. Oddly enough, though I’d had such little expectations, I’d still managed to feel more than a little deflated. Another hopefully promising start, but in the end, it felt like yet another reminder that I was on the outside of what most people considered “real” work.
At this point, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to “real” work status.
Pressing my lips together, I glanced toward my tabs at the top of my computer screen and opened up the one farthest to the right. There were a few new comments on my newest newsletter.
Opening up another page, I smirked. At least I didn’t have to write about lawn furniture now. I had another plain coffee. However, by the time I hit the bottom of the cup, my stomach started to churn.
I reached down to hold my stomach as the room started to swirl with the sound of the espresso machine.
Whether it was the second bad date in twenty-four hours or too much caffeine, I was no longer feeling ready to take on the day.
fifteen
There wasno way that I was finishing my next newsletter, let alone any more lawn furniture assignments. I needed to get home.
Beads of sweat started to accumulate under my loose bangs. Had the coffee shop turned up the heat? My hair stuck to my skin as I fanned myself with a hand. Another laptop worker next to me curled her lip in disgust at me, wearing her oversize turtleneck, as cool as can be.
I quickly started to pack my things, knocking my hip into her small bistro table.
“Sorry,” I murmured.
I thought she might’ve said something in response, like, “Watch where you are going,” but I wasn’t paying attention.
I tore past a laughing couple and out onto the sidewalk.
The crisp morning had been replaced with a thick coldness in the air that made the fact that I could feel sweat on my skin even worse. I didn’t think I was getting sick, but something definitely wasn’t right.
