He didn’t deny it.
And that was somehow worse than anything else he could’ve said.
“I just …” His voice finally broke through. “I didn’t mean to make you feel alone.”
“Not physically,” I said softly. My throat felt tight. “But, yeah, that’s exactly how I felt.”
I looked down at my feet, then back up at him. “You know what? It’s fine.”
“Brielle.”
“I’m done pushing on this. It’s not worth it. It’s late. I’m tired. I’m just gonna go to bed.”
He took a step forward. “Don’t you want to watch another episode of our show?”
“No,” I said. “Not tonight.”
“Please? I … I want to know what happens next. And tomorrow’s going to be long. Faculty meeting. No one ever brings fresh doughnuts or the good flavors. It’s all Boston cream or jelly-filled.”
He was trying to be funny, but I really didn’t want to laugh or smile at him. Not right now.
I folded my arms. “You can go ahead. I’ll catch up on it later.”
His face fell. That was the first crack.
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Maybe if I have time tomorrow I’ll just watch it by myself.”
I could already feel the maybe turning into a no. For the last few weeks, any excuse to spend more time with Josh had felt like a gift. But now? Now I didn’t want to sit beside him and pretend we were fine when we weren’t.
He looked down, shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Wait. One episode?” he asked quietly. “You don’t even have to sit by me. I’d rather not watch it alone. Please, Brielle?”
God, he knew me too well. He knew I hated being behind. He knew I wouldn’t be able to resist.
I sighed. “Fine. One episode.”
He nodded, and it looked like relief swept through his shoulders. “Thank you.”
I grabbed a throw blanket and sat on the opposite end of the couch.
And when the episode started, I didn’t lean into him. I didn’t nudge his foot with mine. I didn’t laugh when he muttered a commentary under his breath.
I just watched the screen. Focused hard. Waited for the credits.
Because I needed the reminder.
There was nothing between us.
There was never anything between us.
No matter how much I wished otherwise.
“You’re still mad at me.”
“Josh,” I sighed. “Just drop it. Let’s watch the show, or I will walk away. Don’t … don’t ruin this.”
