I think I needed a minute.
Walking through the party, I grabbed my coat from where I had left it in the laundry room.
I paused, remembering squeezing with Josh between the wall and dryer the last time I was here at the Huttons before I opened the door to outside. It was quiet. The steady music behind me in the house was only a few trill notes escaping through the sliding glass door here and there.
The ice felt like a shot to my lungs.
I couldn’t help it; I turned around the corner and took another minute.
And another as I walked.
I stood in front of the small house with the metal fence, a quiet chill settling into my bones. There were little candles flickering in the windows, casting soft, golden glows that made thehouse feel oddly welcoming. But the house didn’t bother with Christmas lights, not like it used to. Yet, in some strange way, it felt more homely now. How odd, after all these years, I never imagined it could feel this way. I’d spent so long convincing myself it could never be home. At least, not for me.
Yet now, as I stood here, detached but somehow at ease, the place felt different. It wasn’t the house. It was me.
“Honestly, this wasn’t the first place I thought I’d find you.”
The voice startled me, and I turned to see Josh walking up alongside me. There was a wave of relief that followed quickly after my surprise. He’d found me. He had come after me.
“Where did you try first?” I asked, trying to sound casual, but I was grateful he was here.
“Gina’s bedroom. The laundry room. That felt like a classic. Then I thought I’d check the backyard in case you were suddenly inspired to make snow angels.”
I couldn’t help but smile, even as I shook my head. “That might’ve been a better idea.”
He grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling with affection. “That’s when I saw the tiny footprints on the sidewalk and figured I’d give here a try. So … what are you doing here?”
“I know I should probably get back to your mom’s party,” I said, my voice more of a whisper than I’d meant it to be.
Josh didn’t immediately respond. He just looked at me for a moment, as if assessing my mood, the way I held myself. “Didn’t say that. I want to know if you’re okay. It’s been a lot tonight.”
I chuckled softly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “It has.”
We both stood there, the weight of the silence surrounding us like a blanket. It wasn’t uncomfortable though. It was … soothing. The only sounds were our deep, even breaths and the hum of the neighborhood around us. Despite the cold in the air,I felt something warm spreading through me, just knowing that Josh was here beside me.
“I didn’t think I’d ever want to come back to this place,” I said, breaking the silence. “I didn’t spend a lot of time here when I was younger. Between school, extracurriculars, and … well, your house. Eat, sleep, repeat.”
I glanced at the house again, this time seeing it in a new light, the old bricks and small details becoming more familiar. Maybe it wasn’t so shabby after all.
“You did spend a lot of time at our place,” Josh said softly, looking at me as if he could sense my thoughts. “I never really knew how bad it was for you.”
“It wasn’t bad,” I said quickly, shaking my head. “Not exactly. It just … was a challenge.”
He reached for my hand, his fingers warm as they wrapped around mine. “And you’re brilliant at taking them on. Even when you shouldn’t have to.”
I gripped his hand tighter, feeling his warmth seep into me. He pulled both of our hands into the pocket of his lined coat, holding me close before we headed back the way I came. Eventually we were back in front of the Hutton house—our real house in a way. The one I knew better than any other.
The house was lit up with white lights, people trickling out of the party, carefully picking their way over the ice that had started to form on the driveway. There was a soft cheer in the distance, a laughter-filled murmur that made me smile.
“I’m ready to go back in,” I said, my voice steady now.
“You sure?” Josh asked, his tone laced with gentle concern.
I squeezed his hand. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
We started walking together, side by side, toward the front door. Josh’s pace in step with mine, like he was in no rush to leave, but also didn’t want to waste any time. I could feel the way he was watching me, still assessing, still trying to understand allthe things I couldn’t say yet. But there was no rush for those answers either.
We stood in front of the Hutton house, watching the last of the party guests leave, their laughter trailing behind them like echoes of the night.
