For long moments afterward, we remained locked together, breathing heavily, neither willing to break the connection. His heart beat against my chest, rapid but gradually slowing to match my own.
Slowly I lowered him to his feet, though I kept him pressed against the wall, my body covering his. I couldn't bear to separate from him just yet. Theo tilted his face up to mine, and even in the dim light,I could see a vulnerability in his expression that touched something deep within me.
I kissed him again, softer this time, trying to convey everything I couldn't say aloud. “Tu es magnifique,” I whispered against his lips. “Parfait. Créé juste pour mon plaisir. Pour mon corps.”
He didn't respond verbally—he didn't understand the French—but he kissed me back with an intensity that spoke volumes.
But all too soon, he pulled back with a small sigh. “I have to go,” he whispered, regret evident in his voice. “I'm supposed to circulate, not... get attached to one person.”
Disappointment washed through me, but I nodded, understanding. This was his job, after all. “I’ve reserved your next available evening.”
His smile in the dim light was worth every rearranged meeting, every excuse I would have to make to my family. “I'll see you then,” he promised, pressing one last quick kiss to my lips before slipping from my grasp and disappearing into the darkness of the bathhouse.
Around me, the anonymous ballet of desire continued unabated, but I found I had lost all interest in participating further. Hands reached for me from the shadows, invitations to new pleasures, new connections. I shook them off gently but firmly, suddenly desperate for fresh air, for space to think.
I made my way back through the dimly lit section toward the stairs, barely registering the scenes of passion that had so captivated me earlier. My mind was consumed with thoughts of Theo. The way he had felt in my arms, the sounds he had made.
That moment of recognition had changed everything. His presence had transformed an anonymous act into something almost sacred. Where others might have seen only a coincidence—one employee ofmany potentially encountered in such a setting—I felt the hand of something more significant, perhaps fate itself.
How strange that in seeking to distance myself emotionally, I had stumbled upon the very person who made such distance impossible. The irony might have been amusing if it weren't so profound in its implications.
I retrieved my clothes from the locker, dressing quickly. The attendant, Alex, looked up as I passed, a knowing smile on his face. “Find what you were looking for?” he asked.
The question gave me pause. Had I? I'd come seeking anonymity, a reminder of the transactional nature of pleasure at The Ranch. A reset, a correction, a return to proper perspective.
Instead, I'd found Theo, or rather, he'd found me, and with him, a connection that transcended the purely physical. “I believe I did,” I replied, unable to keep a note of wonder from my voice. “Though it wasn't what I expected.”
Outside, the night air felt cool against my flushed skin. Stars scattered across the velvet blackness of the Texas sky, more numerous and brilliant than I'd ever seen in Avaline. I began the walk back to my villa, my thoughts in turmoil.
What was happening to me? I had always prided myself on my control, my ability to separate physical desire from emotional entanglement. Yet here I was, contemplating impossibilities, dreaming of ways to extend what could only ever be temporary.
As my villa came into view, I made a decision. I would see Theo again tomorrow, and as many times as possible during my extended stay. I would savor every moment, create memories to sustain me during the long, empty days that would follow my return to Avaline.
And then I would leave. Would return to my life, my duties. Would try to forget the young American who had somehow breached the carefully constructed walls around my heart.
It was the only rational course of action. The only possible outcome.
Yet for the first time in my life, rationality felt utterly insufficient.
Chapter 14
Theo
Istared at my reflection in the mirror of the Dark Room's staff locker room, and honestly, I didn’t recognize the guy looking back at me. My eyes seemed different—darker, like they were holding onto secrets that I didn't know how to let go of. My skin still had that post-sex flush, a slight redness along my chest and neck that wouldn't fade despite the cold shower. The muscles in my shoulders ached pleasantly, and there was a reddish mark forming just below my collarbone where Ricard's teeth had scraped a little too enthusiastically.
I ran my fingers through my still-damp hair after my second shower of the evening, trying and failing to tame the chaos. The Dark Room smell still clung to me, that mix of sweat and sex and whatever fancy incense they pumped in there so people could pretend they were having some deep spiritual thing instead of just hooking up with randoms.
After the Dark Room, everything hit different—colors brighter, sounds louder—like all my senses had been dialed up to eleven. Finding Ricard there sent this crazy heat through me that wouldn't go away. It wasn't just being turned on, though there was definitely that. It was something weirder, like my body recognized him before my brain did, like I was literally programmed to react to him.
The memory of his body pressed against mine? Yeah, that was still sending adrenaline coursing through my veins,making my hands shaky as I tried to button my shirt. My lips felt swollen, sensitive to even the slight touch of my tongue. I closed my eyes and leaned against the sink, trying to catch my breath and regain my composure, but my heart seemed determined to hammer against my ribs like it was trying to escape.
“You okay there, Bennett?”
I startled, my eyes flying open to find Kris, one of the other companions, watching me from a few lockers down, looking at me like I was the most unremarkable puzzle piece.
“Yeah,” I managed, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes. “Just tired.”
Kris chuckled. “Dark Room will do that to you. First time's always the wildest.”
