Raephim Zara forced herself in twice. She wanted to make sure I was eating. Getting out of bed. Functioning.
“The temple will drain your soul if you let it,” Zara said during a visit. “Don’t.”
A blaring ring sounded throughout the wingtower once again, signaling it was time for Sanctuary. Stars. I wanted to be anywhere but there. All I could see was golden blood on glass floors as the crescendo of agony crashed into it like cymbals. I wanted to stay here. Hide. But it was time to face reality. And determine where I would stand in it all.
I pushed open my door with a wing, walking out barefoot with my head hanging low. I was met with melancholy silence. I took a deep breath, anchoring myself as the chill of the floor seeped into my feet.
Deep breaths. In, out.
For Infinite’s sake. I felt so heavy. So burdened. Like an elephant was sitting on my chest, cutting off my ability to rightly breathe. Tears prickled the back of my eyes. Flashes of Titombwe seared my memory.
Granmanmi’s speech. The moment of silence for Manmi. The bloodletters. Quazar.
What made it worse, my siblings seemed to know something I didn’t. Including my young, sweet Evanae.
When the angels danced and celebrated. When the Faerèth joined in. While the Gods remained in their place and the Shifters seemed outraged, not one of my siblings participated in the Titombwe celebrations. Not one took joy in the brutalization of Quazar.
That made matters much more complicated. I had to know more about the dawn Manmi died. Papi said Temple Efysis refused to allow him access to the records about her passing. So be it.Iwould find them. And stars willing, I would find the truth.
Eyes still closed, I flexed my hands and summoned my sandals. Burning stars. Everything ached. Doing the simplest of tasks required a world of energy.
“Come on, Safah,” I muttered to myself in the quiet. “Get your wings together.”
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself as a fresh wave of tears threatened to spill over. I could not let myself break down again. Especially not when I had to face the likes of Tharic in Sanctuary.
“Bend, but do not break.” I opened my eyes, and stared at my hands, my voice breaking. “Burn, but never bleed.” I swallowed, feeling the tears fill my eyes anyway. My chin shook as I forced myself to push ahead. “Holy. Safah, you will remain holy, towhateverend.”
The tears streamed down my cheeks.
I felt sick. Ashamed.
First, my temper cost nine angelic lives.
Then, when my hunger for blood came to reality, it not only horrified me, it left me feeling disgusting and physically ill.
I cleared my throat, batting a hand at my tears. I lifted my head to find Ellabeth’s beautiful aquamarine eyes shining with tears of her own that she held back.
“Ellie,” I flinched. “I…I didn’t realize you were floating there.” I quickly wiped my face, holding back a new wave of tears.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” she whispered. “Missed you the last few dawns.”
I nodded. Looked around.
All of Seventh Choir was there, watching me, eyes weighed down with concern. My throat bobbed as I tried straightening my shoulders. Forced a smile on my face.
“Wings high.”
“Wings high, Sazu,” Daelun said, using the pet name for the first time. I kind of liked it. “You alright? Since Titom…Your Granmanmi is something else, huh?”
“What the Hèls, you moron!” Isandra hissed, slapping him upside his head with a wing.
“Good job, genius.” Omarion crossed his arms glaring at Daelun.
Daelun flushed, his cheeks turning red. “Uhm, yeah.” He cleared his throat. “So, like Ellabeth said. Missed you.”
I tried to smile. Really I did.
