Veronica was right.New year, new Kit. I picked up my phone and clicked on the SinglesMingle app. I navigated to the profile settings and tapped to toggle the button next to Casual Encounters from off to on. I threw my phone on the bed and got up to take a shower.
By the time I came back from my shower, I had half a dozen messages from people in a sixty-mile radius. Well, at least I have this going for me, I thought as I scrolled through the messages.
I heard Aunt Rita stirring in the next room, and I joined her. We went downstairs to the kitchen and spent the day together. While I made lunch, she started another batch of cookies. It was a nice distraction to be with Aunt Rita. She always knew how to make me feel good. I was careful not to bring up William, but eventually Aunt Rita asked, “So, you and William?”
“Just friends,” I said without looking up from the pan I was pouring the cornbread mixture into.
“Oh, okay,” Aunt Rita said with a smile. I shot her a look.
“No really,” I insisted. “We’re just friends. Last night, we just got caught up in the New Year’s Eve drinks.”
Aunt Rita put her hands up. “Sure, I mean, far be it from me to poo-poo anyone’s fun. I’m happy for you, Kit.” I didn’t respond, and I think she knew to drop it.
Aunt Rita and I leaned against the island as we waited for the food to finish cooking. She was showing me photos from their vacation when William came into the kitchen.
“Hey, William. Happy New Year!” Aunt Rita said. She gave him a hug. I didn’t turn around. I felt my whole body get tense, and I tried not to let it show. William opened the fridge and got out a soda.
“Hey, Kit. Happy New Year,” he said. He had come around to the other side of the island, so we were facing each other.
“Yeah, Happy New Year,” I said, smiling. “We’re making some food. There’s so much. You should have some.”
“Thanks,” William said. He was searching my face. I could tell he wanted to talk to me. Aunt Rita must have sensed it too because she excused herself and went into the front office.
I decided to rip the Band-Aid off. “I know I mentioned I was going to go for a night run tonight, but I actually have a date, so I’m going to be out tonight.”
“Oh,” William’s face fell and I could see him swallow hard. “Cool.”
“Yeah, I guess I should thank you,” I said a little coldly. “Everyone, including you, just kept encouraging me to relax, have fun, be morecasual, and I realized this was probably what I was missing out on. It’s my new year’s resolution.”
“Your resolution?” he asked.
“Yeah, my resolution is to just relax and have more fun. Not to take myself or anyone else too seriously.” I shrugged one shoulder playfully and said, “The cornbread has about five more minutes, but the black-eyed peas probably need more time.”
William stared at me blankly.
I tried not to read anything into his expression and silence. “I figured you’d be fine with just having fun, since you said you only want casual flings anyways. We’re cool, Mr. Right Now?”
William nodded. “We’re totally cool.” He shoved his hand in his pocket and let a slow breath out. “I’m going up to my room. I’m wiped.”
I smiled as I watched him walk out of the room. As soon as he was gone, I slumped over and laid my forehead on the counter. “This is going to be harder than I thought,” I whispered to myself, but I was determined.
I did go out on a date that night with a nice enough guy from the next town over, but it didn’t go anywhere.
In fact, I went on several dates over the next few weeks. Every time it was the same thing. Some flirty texting back and forth to set up the date, a pleasant first date, and sometimes even a second date, but then the inevitable first kiss. These kisses enlightened me to a few things. First, I was actually attractive enough that multiple people were willing to kiss me. Second, it was possible to have a nice time and no potential, and that was okay. And lastly, a pleasant kiss is nice but not comparable to a kiss that sets you on fire because the chemistry is so explosive.
I tried to force myself to go on at least one date per week. This is probably what I should have been looking forward to, but instead, I found myself anticipating Tuesday and Thursday evenings when I closed at the library. William would be there until close tutoring high school and college students.
At first, I thought it might be weird, but we fell back into a friendly rhythm. I found myself making excuses not to makedates on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I always offered to close. I had started walking to work on those days, so I would have an excuse to walk home with William. Sometimes we would go to The Pub and play pool after work.
On cold days, we’d hurry home. If there was a fire in the front room, we’d hang out in there together. If not, we’d go into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. William would tell me stories about work, growing up with a spunky Filipina immigrant mom, and all the best places he’d ever traveled to.
I would tell him stories about quirky library patrons, and the funny stuff people used as bookmarks that we found when we reshelved the books. And because I wanted to convince us both that we were just friends, sometimes I would even share weird first date stories. William had convinced me that I needed to watchGame of Thrones.He was absolutely stunned that I had never seen it. We started watching it on Tuesday evenings, but I insisted we watch holiday movies and shows on Thursdays. I told him he was woefully behind on decades of Christmas movies and he really needed to try and get caught up before next Christmas. To my surprise, he agreed. I made a long “to watch” list that we started working through.
Sitting on the sofa with William, laughing, and playfully arguing, was the best part of my day. The worst part was when one of us finally threw in the towel and said that we had to go to bed.
I was putting on a good front with Veronica. I was giving her a steady enough stream of first date stories that she wouldn’t launch into the whole “New year, new Kit speech,” and I made sure not to mention how much time I was spending with William. I wasn’t admitting to myself, let alone anyone else, how my feelings for William were growing instead of dissipating. Dating other people was just highlighting how much I enjoyed William compared to other people.
My mind regularly drifted to that night William and I kissed. At first, I tried to push the memory from my mind, but eventually, I decided it was harmless to fantasize about him.
