I cut her off gently. I didn’t want to drag it out any longer. I turned to face her fully.
“You were right.”
She pulled back slightly, her face paling. “What?”
“All of it. You were right.”
She shook her head slowly. “I don’t understand...”
“You were right that I never really left her. That I couldn’t let go. That I still love her. And that even though I tried with you... I couldn’t stop loving her.”
I let the words settle between us. Her tears came silently, and I let her cry. It was the truth, and we both needed to hear it out loud, finally.
“And I’m so sorry, Evie.” I closed my eyes and shook my head, the guilt pressing down. “This is all my fault. I pulled you into something I hadn’t let go of. I hurt you, I know that. But I can’t... I can’t keep doing this with you.”
Her grip tightened on my hand, panic flashing in her eyes. “No, Cam. Please, don’t do this. You said you wanted to be with me. That you were mine. You said—”
“I remember,” I said quietly, breathing out slowly. “I remember everything I said. And I’m sorry. I really am.”
“Are we really over, Cam?” Her voice broke as tears streamed down her cheeks. “One day you say you’re mine, and the next, it’s over? Is it because I was jealous? Because you spent the whole day with her while I was here waiting, alone? Do you even think about how hard that is for me? Can you imagine what that feels like? And even then, I still apologized. I kept trying to understand.”
“I was in a broken marriage, Evie,” I said quietly. “And I left the wrong way. I ran straight into something new with you before I even had time to understand what went wrong. It was bound to fall apart. I’m not ready. There’s so much I still need to fix in myself, and I know I’m just dragging you through the mess with me.”
“Cam.” She wrapped her arms around me, pressing her face to my shoulder. “I can be whatever you need me to be. I’ll stay. I’ll wait. I’ll be there for you, no matter what. I promise. Just don’t give up on us.”
“But Evie.” I closed my eyes, my voice an exasperated whisper. “I won’t ever be able to love you.”
I pulled away gently and lifted her chin so she would look at me. “I realized it too late. But it’s always been her.”
Evie recoiled, sliding to the far end of the sofa. Her whole body shook. “So that’s it? You’re going back to her? After everything? Do you really think she’ll take you back?”
“No.” The word hit hard, tightening my chest. “She won’t. Sloane won’t ever forgive me. She’s going to divorce me. And I’ll be left with the pain of losing the only woman I ever really loved.”
I rose from the sofa and looked at her, sobbing, knowing I was the one who did this to her. Guilt twisted in my chest, but staying would only hurt her more.
“I’m leaving now, Evie,” I said softly. “I hope someday you’ll find someone who can love you the way you deserve.”
The week slipped through my fingers like sand, each day dissolving quietly into the next. I moved through it like a shadow, caught in the stillness, watching life go on around me while everything inside me remained suspended.
I watched her from a distance, fully aware that this was all I was allowed now. Picking up Harper in the morning and dropping her off at night had become my only window into her world. These fleeting moments were all I had left. We didn’t speak, but I still looked forward to those brief moments—those seconds where I could see her up close.
The hospital thrummed with urgency, but my own life dragged underneath it all. The hours bled together. I moved through them on autopilot, but my mind was always elsewhere.
It felt like a miracle that I could perform surgery after surgery without a single complication.
But today felt the hardest, and I didn’t know why. I wondered if it would only get worse from here—how I was supposed to manage it, how I was supposed to keep going when everything inside me was unraveling. I had no answers.
Sloane kept glancing my way, suspicion flickering in her eyes. I knew I wasn’t hiding it well anymore. The longing had found its way onto my face. No matter how I tried to stay grounded, I kept drifting, always gravitating back to her.
My phone buzzed again in my pocket, pulling me out of the moment. I didn’t need to look to know it was Evie calling ortexting. I no longer had the energy to respond. In the first few days, I had listened to her cry and plead, and I had tried to offer what little comfort I could. But it was enough. I couldn’t do it anymore.
So I let it ring.
I had already let her go.
When I looked back at the front, Sloane was already gone.
I was on my way to the radiology floor, quietly grateful to have the elevator to myself, when the doors slid open on the second floor and my heartbeat stuttered.
