“Well, the divorce has been filed. We agreed on shared custody. I’ll have Harper two nights a week and every other weekend, and I’ll stay at Mom’s with her on those nights. Everything else is settled. That’s it.”
Dean was silent after that, before he asked, “Don’t you want to fight for her, Cam? You love her so much.”
Then it was my turn to go quiet.
Sloane’s words kept playing in my head, over and over, like they had for the past month.
I couldn’t stop hearing them. Couldn’t stop feeling them.
They clung to me, heavy and sharp, no matter how hard I tried to push them away.
“When we had that meeting with her lawyer,” I began, swallowing hard, trying to push the words out. “Sloane said something to me. And that’s what pained me the most.”
“What did she say?” he asked.
“She said she was in love with me. All this time, she was in love with me.” I turned to him, desperation clawing at my chest, and the words spilled out before I could stop them. Maybe it was the alcohol messing with my head because I rarely talked about feelings like this with anyone but Sloane.
“She finally said that to me, Dean. And now all I can think is—why didn’t I fucking see it? Why only now, when it’s too late? Why the fuck was I like this with her?”
Dean turned in his chair to face me, listening but staying quiet.
“She showed it to me in little ways, and I held on to those with everything I had. I thought she loved me, but she wasn’t in love with me. I was so certain about that. There were so many nights I sat alone, replaying all those small moments, trying to convince myself it was enough. But I wanted more. I selfishly wanted more.”
“Cam...” Dean’s hand went to my arm and gripped it. “You’re shaking.”
“And she was, Dean. She said she was in love with me.”
I shook my head, bowing down as my jaw tightened.
“That’s what fucks me up the most. Because now it’s too fucking late to do anything about it. And the regret... It’s killing me.”
“Fuck, Cam. I don’t have any advice. But I know how hard you fought for that marriage. I saw how she pushed you away every time she was upset about something. She didn’t treat anyone else like that. I know how much it hurt. I still can’t excuse what you did, but I can see how it broke you. Because you did have thepatience of a saint, Cam, right up until you crossed over to the dark side and went full villain.”
“Our fights just kept getting worse. We fought over everything. Even the smallest things. Often when we fought, she would tell me to leave—leave the house, leave her. Saying she didn’t need me and that she’d be better off without me. At first, I didn’t listen. I thought she didn’t really mean it. But eventually, it got to me. I started to believe she meant it. And then I betrayed her. I cheated on her. And I moved out of our home.”
Dean was looking at me, but seemed lost for words for a moment.
“I didn’t handle it the right way, Dean. But I wasn’t like this before. I don’t know when or how I changed, but I know it was for the worse, not for the better.”
“And then you cheated...” Dean said carefully.
I let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah. I’m a fucked-up, broken mess, Dean. There’s no saving me.”
“So now you’re going through with the divorce?”
“Yes.” I sighed deeply. “She couldn’t accept me betraying her. And I know she never will.”
“But you ended it with that woman, right?”
“Yes.”
“So why not fight for Sloane?”
I stared at him for a moment.
I honestly didn’t expect him to suggest that, not after everything he’d seen, not after witnessing how bad we were to each other.
And especially not after what I did to Sloane. I knew Dean didn’t accept it. Couldn’t.
