“We’re almost there,” my mama said, wrangling me from my thoughts. Of course, my family had to tag along to see that I settled at the farm. Although he wasn’t able to be with us for the move to the farm, Adrian called me every other hour just to check on me. With the demands of his classes, I wanted him to stay focused on what was ahead.
Thirty minutes later, we made it to the farm. In one word, S. S. Estates was exquisite. This coming from a woman who grew up living at Bell Estates. Bell Estates wrapped me in a luxury that was hard to compare to. However, S. S. Estates was neck and neck with Bell Estates.
Large red bows hung from the fence lining the property. Whereas, Bell Estates boasted grand mansions, S. S. Estates boasted several ranch-style homes with the largest one belonging to Antonias. His house had a wraparound porch, overflowing with ferns and other lush greenery. Mixed in were Christmas decorations. Although his house gave a country feel, his modern taste also peeked through in the large floor-to-ceiling windows that spanned most of the house. Two large wreaths hung on the French-style front doors.
My door opened, bringing Antonias into view. His hand extended to me. Taking a deep breath, I took his hand and braced myself for the shifting of my body. So far, the physical pain wasn’t touching the emotional pain.
“Easy.”
Antonias held me up when my legs felt weak beneath me. I tried another step but felt a little dizzy. Antonias swooped meup, then carried me the rest of the way. Adir held the front door for him as he carried me inside. With my eyes closed, all I could register was that it was cool inside and smelled like candied yams. Seconds later, my back touched something soft, prompting me to open my eyes. Antonias positioned his stethoscope over my chest, listening to the rhythm of my heart, and my breath sounds. Finding everything okay, he removed the stethoscope and tucked me under the blanket. Worn out from the ride, I fell asleep.
“Areyoucomfortable?”
Prying my eyes from the wall window overlooking the backyard, I nodded.
“I wanna hear ya voice, Bee,” Antonias stated.
“I’m comfortable,” I mumbled.
Antonias was quiet as he studied me. Hopefully, he couldn’t see the lie behind my downcast expression. Turning my gaze back toward the wall window, I imagined running through the thick grass blanketing the expanse of the yard. I imagined that I was playfully chasing a tiny human. A human that came from me. I felt the room shift, and seconds later Antonias stood in front of me, blocking my view. His fingers glided along my cheek, wiping away the tears that were there.
He leaned down and kissed the spot under both my eyes.
“If I could take these tears away, I would, lil’ baby. I’d wear every ounce of ya grief just to see you smile.”
In the middle of mourning what wouldn’t be, I said, “Katrelle won’t like that you’re this close to me.” Not only had I lost the ability to give birth, but I lost the man whose pursuit of me had indeed been genuine.
Antonias’s handsome face split into a soft smile. “Are you really concerned about what Katrelle wouldn’t like?”
I nodded. “As much as I hate that you’re really about to be a married man—” Tears clouded my eyes, and I couldn’t catch them before they fell.
“Let’s not focus on that, aight. You’re here to recover.”
“Yeah, okay,” I mumbled softly.
He stood back to his full height and sighed heavily.
“It’s been so long since I’ve been here,” I stated. The last time I came to the farm was five years ago. It was to celebrate Antonias acquiring the land that his adoptive parents had lived on for decades. The whole Bell family showed up to support Antonias. He was considered family, so not supporting him wasn’t even in our minds.
“Things have slightly changed. I’ll give you a tour tomorrow. For this evening, I want you to relax. Is there anything special you want for dinner?”
“Not really,” I replied.
“Nah, that ain’t gon’ work for me.” He chuckled. “Think of something. Anything.”
Well, for one we were in the middle of the country. For two, my mama’s soup was the only homemade soup I trusted.
“Vegetable soup,” I told him.
“Aight, I got you.”
Skeptical, I just gave him a flat smile. He turned the volume up on the television, then left me to my thoughts. Sighing, I propped my arms on top of a thick pillow and fumbled with my thumbs. Antonias said not to focus on him and Katrelle, but how could I not? That man was fine as hell, and now that I knew he was serious all this damn time, I was salty about it.
Doesn’t matter now anyway. You can’t give him something he desires.
Angrily, I dashed the thought away. As if there was any more reason to drown myself in tears, that was another one.
CHAPTER 4
