I got dressed slowly, listening to the sound of running water from the bathroom. He stayed in there long enough that mist wafted through the crack in the door. I watched the spirals of steam rise, tranced.
Where did that confidence I found to live on my own terms this summer go?
Luke and Luna got home late that night. Since we hadn’t told Luna we were together yet, I didn’t go over to the house. It hurt to not be with them when they were only a mile away.Tomorrow, I said to myself. Surely we’d tell her tomorrow and then start figuring out what our new normal would be.
The next day, Luke told me they were running errands in the morning, buying back-to-school supplies. I went over to hang out with them in the afternoon.
“Hey, Luna!”
She ran over and hugged me.
“You don’t usually come on Sundays,” Luna said. Nothing got past her.
“I know.” I glanced up at Luke.Should we tell her now?But he didn’t say anything, so I said, “I missed you and wanted to come hang out, if that’s okay with you?”
“Obviously,” she waved her hand in front of her and returned to the living room.
“What do you want to do today? Do you have any summer bucket list things you didn’t get to do yet?” I asked her.
“What’s a bucket list?”
“It’s a list of things you want to do before a certain time, in this case, before school starts.”
“Hmmm.” Luna pursed her lips, concentrating hard.
“We were thinking the beach, but it’s not that nice out,” Luke added. He felt far away, sitting on the opposite couch. Every other time I’d been here in the last week, some part of our bodies was touching, or at least within reach.
Pulled by a magnet, I crossed the room and sat down next to him. I checked the weather radar on my phone. It was a little misty and chilly, but no rain was expected.
“What about a bike ride? We could take the bike path along the beach to Oak Bluffs. Maybe get a ride in on the Flying Horses Carousel?”
Luna’s face lit up. She turned to her dad for his agreement. Henodded and said, “Go up and put on some leggings so you don’t get too cold, Luns.”
After she scampered up the stairs, Luke leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Have I told you how smart you are?”
I smiled. “Not today.”
A laugh rattled out of his chest.
He stood from the couch. “I’m going to change, too.” He scanned my outfit, lingering on the bare legs extending from my short denim shorts. I wanted him to touch them, but I sensed his hesitation. We both knew Luna would be bounding back into the room at any moment.
“I’ll grab you a sweatshirt,” he said before jogging up the stairs.
The slight chill in the air made the bike ride refreshing. Luna rode ahead of me, Luke behind both of us. A few undaunted beachgoers set up at the beach, wrapping themselves in towels and sweatshirts. Several kids and preteens splashed in the waves, unconcerned with the air temperature.
When we got to Oak Bluffs, the town was full of day-trippers, kids and families, and couples young and old, shopping and dining. The whole downtown buzzed with end-of-season energy, everyone squeezing in some quintessential summer experiences before school and work and reality crashed back down on them all.
With that interview coming up, I felt that same urgency to soak it all in while I still could. I pushed it down, trying to be in the moment with Luke and Luna.
On the third turn around the carousel, Luna got the sole brass ring from the dispenser that extended over the wooden horses. This earned her one more free ride, a fist of victory into the air, and a big smile splashed across her adorable little face that made me feel like a kid again, like her dopamine flowed right into myown system. Luke looked similarly elated, leaning on the half wall next to me, beaming at Luna and giving her a whistle of praise.
We wandered through town as a trio, eventually stopping at one of the casual seafood restaurants along the water for an early dinner.
Luna told us all about her week with her grandparents, what they did each day, the new clothes she bought for school with her grandmother. Luke brushed his hand over my leg under the table once or twice. I wanted to reach down and hold his palm there, resting on my bare thigh, but I resisted. He’d been hesitant about touching me all day.It’s because we haven’t told Luna yet, and he doesn’t want her to be confused,I reminded myself.
What were we waiting for?
We biked home after eating and put the bikes away in the shed. The day’s cloudiness made it feel later than it was.
