“I hope we get an infinite amount chances. I refuse to think anything different, no matter how naive that may be.”
I pulled him closer. We were so different sometimes, but in times like these I was glad for those differences.
55
LENNOX
Tomorrow, Luce and Nico would depart to meet Caterina and Nol would travel back to Alethens. Our group would be separated. Unsure when we’d all be together again.
If we ever would.
So tonight, we ventured out and found a small tavern in a neighboring town.
One last hurrah before this war truly took over our lives for the foreseeable future.
“What do you have planned for us tonight, L?” Nico slung his arm around me, Luka at my other side as we squished around the booth.
“Nothing. I just wanted a night with all of you.” I surveyed the group sitting around me. “With my friends.”
Nico elbowed me, his brows waggling. “Look at you, Lennox.”
“Are you being sentimental?” Kara chided.
I reached for a glass of ale. “I wanted to spend a night with you all before everything goes to shit. We might not get another one of these.”
“Now there’s the Lennox we all know and love.” Luce raised her glass.
I bit back a smirk. “But let’s not think about that tonight. I wanted to spend a night relaxing with you all. Having fun amongst all the shit that’s gone on lately.” I ran my finger along the rim of the glass.
“I mean, the last fun night we had like this was back in Cel Nox. Before Luka and I were married. A lot’s happened since. I was taken captive, I was mated, we’ve been reunited with Nol, many have died, and we’re in a fucking war. So, I want to take a moment to just be. Pretend all that isn’t our problem right now. I don’t care what’s happening beyond these walls. For tonight we’re a bunch of fucked up idiots having a good time.”
It took everything in me not to stress about what was going on back at camp. What if there was a Dhampir attack? What if a group of Blood Court soldiers were marching on our camp? I knew the likelihood was slim, and I couldn’t block out the fear, but I could rationalize it now. I was getting better at it.
We had things in place in case of those situations. Declan had made sure of it. The generals would handle anything if it did arise and send word to us immediately.
I would not feel guilty for having a night with my family.
I’d spent too much of the last three years worrying about how my decisions would impact others.
I still couldn’t let it all go, but I could try my hardest to enjoy tonight.
“I’m proud of you.” Luka’s arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me to his side as he kissed the top of my head.
“I’m proud of me too,” I admitted quietly.
“I’m proud of all of us.” We had all overcome things to get to this point. We still were getting over so much, but we were living. Or trying to. I was no longer surviving.
I was living.
Three years ago, all I had was Kara. The two of us coexisting as we drowned in our grief.
It was just the two of us. Luce was busy back in her court—I hardly saw her. I didn’t reach out to her. I let us drift apart after my mother died.
I was terrified of opening myself up to others.
But here I was—opening my heart not just to Luka but to Nico and Declan too.
I loved them, I love them all. They completed different parts of me in ways I never knew I needed.
