When we finally parted, he rested his forehead on my shoulder, his breath warm on my skin.
“I think it’s finally time for us to have that fight.”
I pressed my eyes closed as my chest constricted. “What fight?” I knew exactly what fight he was talking about. I’d been avoiding it like it was my job.
“Lennox…”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I couldn’t meet his gaze. I had made my decision. At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. But now I had to face the consequences.
“I know you are, but we still need to talk about it. You left me. You chose to leave me.”
“I didn’t choose to leave you. I didn’t have a choice, I had to save Kara.”
“I know, but this isn’t about you choosing to save Kara.” He pushed me off his lap and stood, running his hand through his hair. “I know how much Kara means to you, trust me, I know Lennox. But I need you to value your life as much as you value hers. I need you to valueourlife. It’s not just you anymore. We’re married, we’re mates. The choices you make affect both of us.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
“Do you? I want to believe that you do, but after what Iwitnessed—I’m not convinced.” He turned, walking away from me toward the window.
“The entire time I was in Adreona’s hold my one singular thought was getting out and making it back to you. That was all I ever thought about. Thinking about making it back to you is what got me through it all.”
“If you would have chosen yourself in the first place, chose me, chose us—you never would have been in that situation in the first place!”
“So I should have let my sister get tortured instead?” I couldn’t stop the ire from seeping into my voice.
“No, that’s not what this is about. This is about you Lennox. I want you to value your own life as much as you value Kara’s life.” He made his way his way back over to me. Taking my hands from my hips and intertwining my fingers with his, placing our joined hands against my chest.
“You know as much as I do, we’re stronger together. Yes, we can handle things on our own but being separated from you—I was sick with worry every minute, every fucking second of the day. I could hardly sleep. Kara had to remind me to eat. Our mating bond cinching my chest was a constant reminder that you weren’t with me. The fact I could still feel that bond is what I held on to, that I could still feel that connection was my one lifeline to hoping and praying you were still alive. Did you ever think what it was like for me?” I swallowed. I had never considered what it was like for him on the other side. I never had to worry if he was alive. If he was okay.
“Luka, I’m sorry.” I reached for him, but he took a step back, his gaze fixed on the floor.
“I hate that I’m angry with you. You were a fucking captive and tortured and I’m mad at you.” He let out a bitter laugh. “But here’s the thing about you and I Lennox, I refuse to keep this shit in. To keep it hidden from you. For solong, I think everyone was too afraid to anger you, they still are.”
He took a step toward me, forcing me to tilt my chin up to meet his gaze.
“But I’m not.”
“I’m glad.” I took another step, our chests brushing against one another. “I need to know. I need to hear it. I want to be better. For you, I want to be better. I want to change.”
He stroked his thumb across my cheek. “You don’t need to be better, I’m not trying to change you, Lennox. That’s not why I’m telling you this. I need you to know how your actions impacted me, how they made me feel.”
“Thank you.” I leaned into his touch. I shifted my face, forcing his palm to move from my cheek. I kissed the inside of his hand, my lips dusting over our marriage mark. Our mate mark.
“I love you.”
His arms enveloped me; I wrapped my arms around him in return. “I love you too.” He kissed the top of my head.
“You know I love your bloodthirsty side, but this side? This emotional side. I love that side too.”
“Are you sure? Because I’m not a big fan.”
“I’m sure. I love all your sides. But this one is one of my favorites.”
We stood in silence, clinging to one another until Luka spoke again.
“My grandfather is dead.”
I let out a shuddering breath. “I know.”
