‘Yes. I did. And I’ve said I’m sorry.’
‘And are you now telling me that you’ve changed so much that you’ll never work late and you’ll always put me ahead of your career from now on?’
Andy hesitated, the smug expression slipping. ‘Of course you’ll always come first,’ he said. ‘But my career’s really important. You know that. I’ve come back from Dubai with a promise of a great promotion. Itwillmean long hours at first, but it’ll calm down when my boss can see I’m settling down and getting married like he told me to.’
WTF?‘What did you just say?’
The expression on Andy’s face told me he’d just revealed something he hadn’t meant to. ‘I said it will calm down and we can get married. You know you’ve always wanted to get married.’
‘Not that,’ I snapped. ‘The bit about your boss.’
‘Erm… You’ll love the apartment. The kitchen’s fantastic. You’ve always said you’d like to do more cooking and you’ll be able to do loads when we entertain my boss and our friends. They’ll be so impressed, although you may have to step up the sophistication level from lasagne and shepherd’s pie. Might help you shed a bit of that lard too if you lay off the comfort food. If you’re going to be a director’s wife, you need to look the part.’
Ouch!As I stared at Andy, I realised I didn’t know him anymore and he clearly didn’t know anything about me either. I wasn’t sure who was sat on the end of the sofa but it certainly wasn’t the Andy I’d fallen for twelve years ago. I’d really thought he was back but Clare had been right all along; it was the charm offensive and not the true Andy that had wriggled under my skin. The drunken gibbering idiot issuing orders and insulting my weight was the real Andy. He certainly wasn’t my Charlie. He wasn’t my Tim either.
‘Christ, Sarah, what’s up with you now?’ he spat. ‘You’ve got a right face on you again.’
‘I think you should leave.’ I gave him my stoniest look then stood up, marched to the door, and flung it open.
‘Why?’
‘Why?’ I was shouting but I didn’t care. ‘Because you don’t need a girlfriend. All you’re after is someone to cook for you. Call a bloody agency. And if the other thing you want is sex, call an agency for that too.’ I pointed into the hall, indicating for him to leave, but he stayed exactly where he was, grinning inanely.
‘What are you wittering on about? Idowant a girlfriend. I want you. Sarah. I already told you you’re the only person I’ve ever loved.’
I blanched at the use of the past tense and a reality hit me. ‘Oh my God!Loved? You don’t love me now, though, do you?’
‘I… erm… I could.’
‘Andy! What the…? Why did you come here?’ I shouted. ‘Why the balloon trip and the fireworks and all that other stuff if you don’t still love me?’
‘I’ll ask you the same thing. Do you love me?’ he shouted back.
‘No.’
‘Then why have you been all over me in the past few days?’
‘Why? Because I was confused by your sudden reappearance. Because I took years to get over you and I wasn’t sure whether I really had. Because I always believed we’d get back together one day. Because I wanted to believe you’d changed and it could be perfect between us again.’Because you’re a Steven.
When Andy stared at me blankly, I decided to press on. ‘Given that we’ve both admitted we don’t love each other anymore, you may as well be honest about that comment about your boss. What was that all about?’
‘What comment?’
‘Don’t play with me. You owe me an explanation.’
He met my stare again.
‘Okay. You win,’ he said eventually. ‘Will you sit down first?’
I felt a bit silly standing in the open doorway but I couldn’t bear to be close to him so I sat down on the armchair instead. ‘Go on. This had better be good.’
He picked up my empty glass and, frowning, put it down again. I wasn’t going to offer him a top-up. He ran his fingers through his hair and stared into the fire for an excruciating minute or so.
‘I don’t know if you remember, but I work for a Japanese firm where the top guys have very strong family values that their senior team must uphold. To become a director, they expect you to be married with kids in private school and living in a nice property. A few comments were made that left me with no doubt that, if I didn’t get married soon, I wouldn’t be promoted any further.’
I shook my head. ‘Please tell me you’re kidding.’
He looked at me and shrugged. ‘I know. It’s a bit primitive, but it’s their culture and I need to embrace it if I want to be a director and earn the really big salary.’
