‘Don’t you ever wear jeans like a normal person?’ I asked, taking in her expensive-looking soft cream fitted jumper and short brown cashmere skirt. ‘That doesn’t look very practical for helping me pack.’
Clare propped herself up on her elbows. ‘My role is to lie here and direct. Packing’s a good chance for a clear-out so we’ll start with your clothes. I’ll tell you what you can keep. Don’t look at me like that. I’m doing you a favour, so I am.’
‘In what way?’
‘By the time I’m finished, you’ll have a lot less crap to fit in the van tomorrow.’
‘How rude.’
‘Although you won’t need to worry about any of it if I can convince you to change your mind and stay.’
‘I’m sorry.’ I pushed her legs to one side so I could perch on thebed. ‘You know I’ll miss you loads but this is too good an opportunity. I had to take it.’
She sighed. ‘I know. I’m probably the one who should be saying sorry.’
‘For what?’
‘For being such a crap friend.’
‘Because you’ve been sulking all week?’ I stuck my tongue out at her.
‘I’ve been a lot more crap than that.’
‘You’ve been seeing Jason behind my back,’ I joked.
She sat upright. ‘Jesus! Are you mad? When I said I couldn’t stand him, I wasn’t hiding some deep carnal lust. I genuinely couldn’t stand him.’
‘Okay. Point made.’
She slumped back onto her elbows again. ‘But I have been a crap friend because I haven’t been there for you. I’ve known how miserable you’ve been at work and with Jason for the past year and I haven’t said anything to encourage you to talk about it.’
‘You knew? How? I never said a word.’
‘You didn’t have to. I knew because I know you, Sarah. We’ve been friends for twelve years and we lived together for three of those. You don’t know someone that well and not notice when they’re miserable.’
‘So why didn’t you say anything?’ I demanded, feeling quite miffed that she hadn’t spoken up. ‘You normally blurt out exactly what you think so why keep quiet when your opinion might have made a difference?’
She grimaced. ‘Because of all this.’ She pointed to the chaos of part-packed boxes and crates spread around the room. ‘I figured that if I encouraged you to talk about your worries, you’d finally come to your senses, ditch your man Jason and quit your job. So I selfishly kept quiet because if you had no Jason and no job, why would you want to stay in London with me? Especially when, despite your protests, I know you’ve never really settled here. And now I wish Ihadsaid something because you’re leaving anyway and I feel like a great big pile of crap for ignoring you when I knew youneeded me. So I’d understand if you’re mad at me and want to throw me out.’
I slowly shook my head. ‘If I was mad at you, I’d have to be mad at my parents, our Ben, Auntie Kay, Elise and everyone else I know because, if you noticed, any of them could have noticed and brought it up, yet nobody breathed a word. It wasn’t your responsibility to force it out of me. If I’d wanted to talk about it, I’d have talked about it.’
‘So we’re good?’
I smiled reassuringly. ‘We’re good.’
Clare exhaled loudly. ‘That’s a relief. I could do with a drink after all that heavy stuff. Can I suggest you open a bottle of wine then tell me everything? Jason, job, floristry – the lot.’
‘It’s only eleven. Are you sure you don’t want a coffee?’
‘Wine please.’
When I returned with two glasses, Clare was fussing Kit and Kat who’d wandered in from the cold.
‘About time too.’ She held out her hand. ‘It’s like the Sahara in here.’ She took a long gulp. ‘That’s better. Now take the weight off your feet and tell me all about the ditching of your man.’
‘The packing?’ I protested.
‘The packing can wait. If you lend me a T-shirt I may even help you but first I need to know everything. Start with that gobshite.’ She patted the bed and I obediently sat beside her.
