Early that afternoon, Steve Walters called me back to say he was snowed under until Christmas, then he was getting married. He could give me an appointment in February, at a push, when he was back from his honeymoon.
Forty minutes after that, Steve Pinder called me to say I must have a very old copy of theYellow Pagesbecause he’d retired five years ago. I closed it and looked at the front. Yep, eight years old. Iknewthey didn’t print the damn thing anymore. I tossed the directory at the wall, taking a large chunk out of the plaster. Definitely needed plastering now.
10
‘You grab a seat; I’ll get some drinks.’ Clare rummaged in her bag for her purse while I headed for a couple of comfy armchairs in Minty’s on Friday evening.
My favourite bar was on a side street at the top of town. Leather sofas, brightly coloured armchairs and an eclectic mix of wooden chairs and stools jostled for space around homemade tables erected from railway sleepers, driftwood, and beer barrels. Old pictures and adverts promoting the area across the past century adorned the wall, interspersed with paintings of local scenes by local artists, including some by the owner.
‘I’m surprised,’ Clare said as she re-joined me with two glasses of wine.
‘At what?’
‘It’s really nice in here.’
‘And that surprises you because…?’
‘I don’t know. I think I expected somewhere a bit rough. Northern seaside resort and all that.’
‘How rude! We’re not all completely unsophisticated up north, you know. We do have a few nice bars and even one or two posh restaurants. We also got electricity recently. And indoor toilets are starting to become popular. It’s all very exciting.’
‘All right, you’ve made your point, so you have.’ Clare took a sip from her wine. ‘So, will you be sharing your game plan?’
‘My game plan?’
‘Your plan to snare your man Steven.’
‘I thought you didn’t believe in all that.’
‘I don’t but it’s pretty obvious that you do, so let’s say, just for a moment, that your clairvoyant woman isn’t a raving eejit and is actually right. You’re about to finally fulfil your childhood fantasy of meeting this perfect being, getting married, having one point seven children and living happily ever after. We now believe he answers to the name of Steven. How are you going to make sure you meet him?’
‘I don’t know. I figured it would just happen naturally. If it’s meant to be, itwillhappen.’
‘“Naturally”?’ Clare raised an eyebrow. ‘“If it’s meant to be, it will happen”? Don’t give me that bollocks.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘This isyouwe’re talking about. The girl with the Life Plan. The girl who uses Post-it notes to make the key decisions in her life. The girl who was practically peeing her pants at that clairvoyant reading. Waiting for something to happen naturally is not part of that girl’s DNA.’
I took a sip of my wine and frowned. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have a plan. I’d assumed he’d just appear and, after my window cleaning and plastering episodes, I figured the less interference from me, the better. ‘Maybe he’ll be a customer?’ I offered half-heartedly.
‘Yeah, sure he will. He’ll sweep you off your feet while he’s buying a bouquet for his wife to celebrate their wedding anniversary or the birth of their first gremlin.’
‘Baby.’ Clare and babies don’t mix. I’ve always wanted children although I admit I’m not one of those women who goes gooey around them like Elise. I do, however, think Clare’s view of them is a little extreme.
‘Gremlin,’ she growled. ‘Okay, let’s not worry too much about where you’ll meet him. Let’s imagine it’s happened. What are you going to say to him?’
‘Say?’
‘Will you be blurting out that he’s your destiny and proposing on the spot or will you be playing it cool and risking him walking out of your life?’
‘I… I dunno. I hadn’t really thought about it.’
‘You haven’t thought about much, have you?’
I felt a jolt of panic. Clare was absolutely right; I needed a game plan for this or I could blow it big time. How crazy would I look if I mentioned the reading to any Stevens I happened to meet? They’d run a mile.
‘I need to listen to the CD again at some point.’
