Mum laughed. ‘Time. I know it’s a cliché, but let’s face it, Andy couldn’t have picked a worse time of year to walk back into your life. Don’t let the fact that he’s going home in a few days push you into any decisions. Tell him he can stay longer – if that’s what you want – or tell him he can go home without a decision but, whatever you do, don’t rush into anything you may regret.’
30
I left Mum and Dad’s at half four and texted Andy to say I’d be home in fifteen minutes. Ben had evening plans back in Leeds so he gave me a lift home.
Opening the door to Seashell Cottage, the aroma of mince and garlic hit me. He’d never cooked, had he? He’d always been hopeless in the kitchen.
Andy bounded down the hall, gave me a hug, wished me a Merry Christmas, and said I wasn’t allowed into the kitchen while he was creating. He directed me upstairs into the bathroom where he’d run a hot bubble bath. Scented candles glowed and soft music played. He’d even perched a glass of wine on the window ledge.
‘Don’t panic,’ he said. ‘It’s not a ploy to get you drunk and naked. I just thought you might like a relaxing bath after rushing around for the last couple of months. Although,’ he added wickedly, ‘I’d be more than happy to scrub your back… or anywhere else for that matter.’
Blushing, I threw a towel at him and ordered him out of the bathroom.
Lying back in the mandarin and jasmine bubbles five minutes later, I felt incredibly relaxed, although the wine and Baileys had probably helped. I love baths and hadn’t had time for one since moving home. What a lovely thought and just what I needed.
Closing my eyes, my mind drifted back to the first time Andy had run me a bath. It had been our first Valentine’s Day together. We’d been to a Valentine’s Ball along with most of the students from our flat. It had been a lovely evening until a scuffle broke out on the next table and I somehow ended up wearing a pint of Guinness. Soggy and smelly, I had no choice but to leave. Andy ran me a bath while I peeled off my ruined dress then he perched on the side and gently poured jugs of water over my head, rinsing out the stout.
‘I can’t believe our evening’s ruined.’ Tears of frustration poured down my cheeks. ‘It was our first Valentine’s together and some drunk idiots messed it up.’
‘Hey, it’s not messed up. If anything, they’ve made it better.’
‘How can you possibly think that?’
‘I get you all to myself.’ He moved his soapy hands onto my tense shoulders and expertly massaged them. ‘We’ll have other Valentine’s Days to celebrate together.’
We’d never spoken about a future together. ‘Will we?’ I whispered. ‘Does that mean you can see me in your life for a bit longer?’
Andy stopped massaging my shoulders and shifted his position so he could look into my eyes. ‘I can see you in my life forever. I love you, Sarah.’
I hadn’t wanted to be the one who said it first. Elise told me she’d always regretted being the first to say she loved Gary, wishing he’d said it first. I was glad I’d waited as it truly was a magical moment. ‘I love you too, Andy.’
Baths are great but the average bath isn’t quite big enough for two adults and our demonstration of how much we loved each other caused a little bit of water displacement. Okay, a lot of water displacement. Which ran through the floorboards into the lights in the kitchen below and shorted the electrics in the whole flat. And the one next door. And the other buildings in our quad. Oops.
I opened my eyes and reached for my glass of wine, grinning at the memory of us scuttling down the corridor to my room, Andy holding onto a pile of soggy clothes and towels and me clinging onto my bottles of toiletries; we couldn’t leave any evidence behind to show who’d caused the blackout. Grabbing my hand towel from the sink, I sent Andy back out into the dark corridor to mop up thewet trail. He only just made it back into my room, stark naked, when the lights came back on. There’d been an investigation, but we got away with it. Clare was the only person who ever knew it had been us who caused chaos that night. Well, I had to tell someone.
I lay back in the bubbles sipping my wine. It had been an amazing night. But our whole relationship had been brilliant, which was why it hurt so much when it ended. I’d loved him so much. Did I still?
‘Are you covered?’ Andy called from outside the door about ten minutes later. ‘I wondered if you were ready for a top up.’
I glanced towards my half-empty glass. ‘Go on, then. But no trying to peek through the bubbles.’
Andy pushed open the door and kept his eyes firmly fixed on my face as he headed towards the bath and topped up my glass.
‘Is it hot enough for you? I know you like it boiling.’
‘It’s perfect.’
‘What are you grinning at?’
‘Don’t read anything into this,’ I said, ‘but I was thinking about the first time you ran me a bath.’
He smiled. ‘The Valentine’s Ball. I was thinking about that earlier too. I wasn’t sure if you’d remember.’
‘Of course I remember. It was the first time you said you loved me.’
‘I don’t know why I took so long to say it.’ He kneeled down by the bath. ‘I loved you the moment I saw you.’ He smiled tenderly and my heart started racing. ‘That night, I seem to recall telling you that I could see you in my life forever. Fast forward less than three years later and I let you slip away.’ He looked so vulnerable again and also so very attractive in the candlelight.
‘You have to stop punishing yourself,’ I said. ‘You’re forgiven. Let’s stop focusing on what might have been and focus on the here and now. One day at a time.’
