"Breathe with me," he instructs, his voice dropping to a deeper register—part human, part dragon. "In... out... in... out..."
I try to match his breathing, but panic clouds my mind as I see Hawke on his knees across the room, visibly in pain from my uncontrolled power.
"Don't look at him," Kellan says sharply, turning my face back toward his. "Look only at me. Feel the control. Take it back, Domina. Pull it inside. Your magick is not separate from you. It is you. Call it home."
I close my eyes and visualize my power as ribbons spreading outward like he taught me. Following Kellan's guidance, I try to imagine drawing those ribbons back into my core, reeling them in like fishing line.
But they resist, slipping through my mental grasp like eels. The more I struggle to control them, the more they seem to writhe and expand, feeding off my frustration and fear.
"I can't," I gasp, my breath coming in short, sharp bursts. "It's not—it won't?—"
"Focus," Kellan commands, his grip tightening on my shoulders. "One ribbon at a time if you have to."
Sweat beads on my forehead as I concentrate harder, teeth gritted with effort. My head pounds, the queen's voice still a distant scream beneath the roaring of my own magick. I can feel Hawke's pain through our bond, which only makes panic rise higher in my throat.
"Breathe," Kellan reminds me, his voice a steady anchor. "Your fear is feeding it."
I force myself to take a deep breath, then another. I stop trying to grab all the ribbons at once and focus on just one—the thinnest strand of wild energy I can find. With painstaking concentration, I visualize wrapping it around my finger, slowly drawing it back.
It comes, reluctantly. Then another. And another.
My muscles ache with the effort, trembling as though I've run for miles.
"Almost there," Kellan murmurs, his own energy a steady pressure against mine, helping to herd the wildest strands back into place.
With one final, excruciating effort, I pull the last of my power back into my core, sealing it away. The effort leaves me gasping, drained, my body suddenly heavy as lead.
"That's it," Kellan says, his voice softening as his features return to fully human. "Well done."
I open my eyes to see Hawke straightening, color returning to his face.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, tears gathering as Kellan releases my shoulders. "I didn't mean to?—"
The words stick in my throat, guilt and shame flooding through me. I've hurt him again The same magic that's killed everyone else I've loved. The same magick that’s going to take him too. The room swims before my eyes, exhaustion and horror making my knees tremble all over again.
Hawke crosses the space between us in three quick strides and pulls me into his arms. I collapse against his chest, my fingers clutching desperately at his shirt as silent tears track down my cheeks.
"Not your fault," Hawke says, his voice still rough as he waves off Kellan's supporting arm. His hands stroke down my back, steady and strong despite what I've just put him through. "Breathe, love. We're okay."
But we're not okay. Nothing about this is okay. I could have killed him. I almost did kill him. And the queen is still screaming in my head, a relentless, maddening presence that's driving me to the edge.
I bury my face against Hawke's chest, trying to ground myself in his familiar scent, in the steady beat of his heart against my ear.
"What happened?" Kellan demands, looking between us.
"The Queen is calling to her," Hawke explains. "Has been for weeks, apparently."
Kellan goes completely still, his expression shifting from confusion to disbelief to something much darker. The temperature in the room spikes suddenly as his control slips.
"Weeks?" he repeats, the word coming out as a barely contained growl. His eyes flash, pupils narrowing to reptilian slits. "Aena has been in your head for weeks?"
His gaze snaps to Hawke, who shakes his head slightly.
"I just found out tonight," Hawke says, his arm tightening around my waist. "We're both finding out tonight. She’s gotten really good at blocking us both."
“I’m sorry.”
Kellan's jaw clenches as his attention turns fully to me, a storm of hurt and anger brewing in his eyes. "You kept this from both of us?" he asks.
