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Instead of Melissa’s place, I ended up driving somewhere else entirely. My muscles acted on their own accord, turning and accelerating through the city, until I found myself pulling into Tyler’s driveway. I parked but kept the car running, trying to decide if I was going to do this or not. I could just back out and head to Melissa’s and no one would know.
But I didn’t. I got out of the car and walked up the sidewalk to the porch. I drew in a deep breath and rapped on the door. As soon as I did, a flood of emotions hit me, and when the door opened, I was fighting the tears that were already coming down my cheeks.
“Becca?” Tyler said when he opened the door. I could barely see him through the tears, and he ushered me inside. “Hey, hey,” he said reassuringly. “Come over here and sit down. Let me get you something to drink.”
He guided me to his couch, and I sat, and a minute later he came back with a small, heavy glass with a couple of ice cubes and some whiskey in it. It smelled like the good stuff, the sipping stuff, but I didn’t bother. I downed it all in one gulp and shuddered as it burned its way down my throat.
“Oh, wow, okay, it’s like that,” he said, standing. “I’ll get you another one. And me. I have a feeling I might need it.”
He came back from the kitchen with two glasses, handing one to me, which I elected to sip instead of gulping down. I had to remember I was a lightweight. Though, frankly at that moment, I didn’t particularly care.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“No, stop,” he said. “No apologies. I’d much rather you come here than drive in this condition. Should I call Nick?”
“No,” I said, rather forcefully, and Tyler put his phone down slowly.
“Okay. So, do you want to tell me what’s going on?” I nodded and took another sip. The whiskey was extremely strong, and it lingered as it went down, but it went down smooth.
“I moved in with Nick,” I said. “Temporarily.”
“I heard you were going to do that,” he said. “He told me the other night.”
“Yeah, well, apparently you asked some questions about me and he got suspicious,” I said, trying not to have an accusatory tone.
“Ah, yeah,” he said. “He’s really sensitive about that. You’re his sister. He wants to protect you.”
“Well, seeing us together in the library didn’t help, either.”
“He didn’t seem too happy about it,” Tyler agreed.
“No, he wasn’t. And he took it out on me. Asking me a bunch of questions and accusing me of lying to him.”
“About what?”
“About something happening between us,” I said. “He started saying you were off-limits, and wasn’t listening to me when I told him nothing was happening. He just wants to control me like my parents. But I’m an adult. I’m not a little kid anymore.”
“I can see that,” he said and winced. It was like that was supposed to be a thought and not something he said. I decided to brush past it.
“I just hate that no one takes me seriously. No one lets me just be me, as an adult. They all try to control my life,” I said.
When I told him that Nick spoke to me just like my parents did, he seemed to understand, scooting to the edge of his chair, and patting my leg.
“Okay,” he said after a short silence. “I’m not telling you what to do, but I am offering possible solutions, okay?” I nodded. “You can hang out here until Melissa can pick you up, because I cannot in good conscience let you drive, or—” he hesitated but then swallowed a big gulp of his drink and went on. “Or you can stay here.”
I furrowed my brow at him as I thought about the implication of what he was saying. He seemed to have the same issue with it.
“We just would have to keep it quiet,” he said quickly, almost like he was assuring himself as much as me that he didn’t mean what it sounded like he meant. “The last thing either one of us would want right now is for Nick to catch wind of it, even though nothing will happen between us, right?”
There was a silence as our eyes dug into each other, and my heart began to race. It wasn’t the whiskey, though that helped, but my skin flushed with heat, and I was suddenly overcome with emotion. And desire. I was at war with myself, and I was losing. So many thoughts, so many needs, all swirled inside me and banged on the walls of my sanity. I needed to assert myself, to show myself, and by extension everyone else, that I wasn’t a kid anymore. I could make my own decisions.
