8
I turn away,and Collin is somehow standing just to my right. He looks at me with concern, like I might need a hug.
I do freaking need a hug. But so not from him!
I give him my most dangerous glare. “Notoneword…” And I start stalking up the grungy stairs to my apartment.
Collin follows a step behind me, and he looks contrite. “I’m sorry, Alvin. I genuinely thought you were into him.”
“And why would you think that?!” I swear if this ghost can read my innermost thoughts, I am done!
“Oh. Well,mostlybecause of your microexpressions and the way you stared. But when he rubbed your knee, I also noticed that the circumference of your penis expanded by just over 2mm—which, granted, isn’t the mostreliablemetric, but coupled with howhandsomeRafa is?—”
Oh. My. God.
I stop just inside the stairwell of my floor and lookdaggers at him. “Are you telling me you had your handsdown my pantswhile we were in the car?!”
He folds his arms like I’m the crazy one. “No! Don’t be daft. You’dtotallyfeel that.” His expression then softens. He reaches out, leaning in, and warmly squeezes the side of my shoulder. “You just seemed so freaked out, lad, I was worried about you! So, I kept an eye on all your biological processes to make sure you weren’t going to, you know, need medical attention.”
Gah!
I rip open the door and launch myself into the hallway.
“What kind of insane robot-ghostareyou?” It’s almost four in the morning, and I say this way too loud, but at this point, I don’t care. Iamdone!
I shove my keys into the stupid, sticky lock my landlord will never fix, and Collin follows me into my tiny one-bedroom apartment, despite my very best attempt to slam the door on him.
“I’m not a robot. Or a ghost. At least, not really.” He stands right in front of me, his chest puffed up a little. “I’m an Avatar of Knowledge.TheAvatar of Knowledge, actually.”
I stare at him for several seconds. The whole time, he just smiles back at me, like I’m his long-lost best friend, and we haven’t seen each other for years. The sweet expression makes him look even cuter in that boy-next-door way of his. (Which, frankly, is just more infuriating!) Then I notice that all the cuts, bruises, and blood that were on his face before, as well as the dirt on his hands and feet, are gone.
“What happened to all the wounds you had when I first saw you?”
“Oh!” Bigger smile. “Well, I’m withyounow, so, like, that’s really healing.”
“No, Idon’tknow! I have no idea what you actually are! I haven’t evenheardof… What did you call yourself?”
“The Avatar of Knowledge?” he says. He winces like he’s afraid I might hit him with a rolled-up newspaper.
I rip the watch nestled in the book page out of my back pocket so I can shove it under his nose. “And you’re connected to this?!”
The moment I take the watch out, I get my answer. Collin disappears immediately. And that’s when it hits me: Being careful not to trigger anything, not letting my skin directly touch it—all of that was pointless. The artifact is apocketwatch. How do you activate it? Well, apparently, you just need to stick it into one of your pockets!
So, looks like I’ve been using an object imbued with crazy-strong (meaning potentially crazy-dangerous)power for the last hour! Did I check if it was cursed? No. Did I at any point check myself to see if I was being magically screwed with? No.
Did I do any single freaking thing a real paranormal investigator would do to keep himself from getting screwed over by what in all likelihood is ancient God-tier magic?
No!
I put the watch, still cradled in the ripped book page, on the speckled-gray Formica counter of my kitchenette, and give myself a hard looking over foranymagical residue. I start with a visual scan first (including anawkward look at my own butt in my jeans where the watch was.) I don’t see anything out of the ordinary. Then I close my eyes—do I feel anything different? But, as usual, when it comes to sensing for anyrealmagic inside me, I pull up “there’s not anytherethere.” Weak tea is weak. And it doesn’t seem like any extra has been added on since the last time I checked.
Of course, curses are tricky. I can’t be sure the bad juju is not just hidden or something. But Collin did disappear the moment I took out the watch. And, as far as I can tell, the appearance of this Avatar of Knowledge is the artifact’s only real effect. Chances are, I’m actually clean.
I stare at the watch on the counter. Now, the smart play at this point would be to hide the damn thing in my refrigerator or maybe my oven—somewhereno one would look!—go to bed, and wait for the elf to pick it up. I did what he asked. In fact, I’m so on track, the Obligation he placed on me hasn’t made a peep since I went inside the house. Other than working up a sweat, I got in and out of a vampire nest without being hurt at all, and there should be no way for them to trace the theft to me. If I do nothing more at this point, I’ll get a cool $30,000 for less than an hour’s work, and that’safterhaving some of the best on-the-job training a junior paranormal investigator could get. For once in my life, I can finally come out a winner!
But… not everything adds up. For one thing, Collin knew who I was. And sure, he’s an “Avatar of Knowledge,” so maybe that’s why. But he was actually, like,happyto see me when he appeared. Short, chubby, useless me. And now he’s saying I healed him. Even if I had access to thefull suite of incubus abilities—which I very much don’t!—healingotherpeople (or spirits or whatever he is!) ain’t on the menu in any way, shape, or form. And if heisa spirit, why would he have been hurt in the first place? I mean, the dude was a bloody mess! Andterrified. Until he saw my face…
There’s a lot more here than an elf bullying a random, weak-ass incubus boy into a second-story job. Something to do with me.
