But let’s stay focused on the problem at hand.
“WhoI really am, Rafa?” I ask with barbs, shooting him a glare. “You meanwhatI really am, right?”
He nods, conceding. “Yeah. But it’s obvious now, you’re not evil.” He rolls his eyes, angry with himself. “You’re not even selfish. You are, just like I thought all along, a good guy.”
I’ll admit, hearing him say that out loud does feel at least a little bit nice. But I don’t have a response, so I just shrug again.
Rafa rakes the back of his head with the tips of his fingers, suddenly a bit bashful. “Look, the moment I saw you, I really liked you. A lot more than I usually do with a boy.” He purses his lips, unsure. “That… wasn’t you using your powers, was it?”
My gaze drifts down. “No. I never wanted to hurt people, so until yesterday, I wasn’t willing to use any of my incubus powers.” My shoulders slump and I watch my feet scrape the concrete sidewalk. “I’ve always hated what I am. But then I met Collin, and he got me to think that maybe I could do some good with it.”
Saying his name shoots a guilty twinge straight into my heart. Valiente is probably torturing him right now.
“Collin. That’s the Avatar of Knowledge,” Rafa says, his voice level. I nod. “So, have you always been super-strong and fast, like you were back at the Benevolent Society? And you just never used it?”
I shake my head. “That was because I fed. Also a first. And also because of Collin.” I glance up at him. “Well, not just because of—I fedonCollin. Since he’s a spirit, he told me I couldn’t cause him any harm, so I was willing to give it a shot.”
Rafa’s eyes widen, then narrow. “And when you say you fed…”
“I mean we had sex, yeah. I lost my virginity to him.” I sigh. “It’s complicated. Like everything else is right now, I guess. You should know I really like him. I want to save him as much as anyone else. Probably more.” I bite my lower lip. “I… know you and I kissed. More than once. I’m sorry.”
He turns his head, and for a moment serious hurt plays across his handsome face. But he takes a breath and blows it away with a deliberate exhale. It leaves his expression thoughtful. “Ah. Well, you’ve only known the two of us for a couple days. I started it, both times, so it’s not like you led me on. And they were good kisses.” He tilts his head, eyes dancing with amusement. “For what it’s worth, you are kind of my perfect type.”
“Short and dumpy?” I snark, the self-deprecation pretty much just out of habit at this point.
“Adorable, plucky, and innocent,” he replies with asmile. There’s no hesitation. He’s clearly thought about this.
Hm. Adorable, I can kinda see. Butplucky?Like Lois Lane?
Well, he did say this was his type. And there are worse things he could fetishize about me.
Still…
I raise my eyebrows at him. “Not so innocent, it turns out.”
He dips his head, conceding the point and sobering, but says, “Innocent enough. In the ways that matter.” He looks over at my neck. “I’m really sorry I hurt you.”
I shrug for a third time. But he pivots to stand in front of me, stopping us.
“I mean it, Alvin. I was surprised, and riled up, and after being sadistically tortured and mind-fucked by my back-from-the-dead vampire dad, I was in a pretty dark place…” He purses his lips, stopping himself. “But those are reasons, not excuses. You were just trying to save me, and I treated you like garbage. I like to think of myself as some kind of hero, always doing the right thing, but between the two of us, it’s pretty clear who the real hero is.”
More words I’ve always wanted to hear—at least being called a hero. He’s pretty good at those, and it actually does give me a little bit of a lift. But before I can think of a reply, a damp breeze cuts through the air and the San Francisco evening cold catches back up to me. Without thinking, I rub my triceps and shiver.
In an instant, Rafa is out of his duster and placing it around my shoulders. I don’t even know how it got overthe back scabbard with his shotgun underneath. He just swooped his arms in a smooth arc, the duster flared around me like a cape, and now I’m wrapped in a cocoon of his residual body heat. It’s like something from an old movie.
Huh.
I can’t say I hate it. It is kind of touching—and he looks at me so gently, white tee peeking out of his heavy work shirt, strong arms folded over his strong chest.
But it doesn’t change what we’re up against.
“Rafa, I appreciate what you’re saying”—I glance at the duster that’s now keeping me warm—“and trying to do. Really. Thank you. But we’re running out of time. I need to call Prince Eirian back. I need to stop the ritual.”
“How long do we have?”
I meet his eyes, grim. “I have to get there between eight and ten tonight. At this point, that’s just a couple hours away. After that, it’ll be too late.”
Rafa nods, pursing his lips. “It means there’s stillsometime, though.” He looks up into the thickening clouds above, lost in a memory. “You were so strong getting us out of there. Tons stronger than the vampires. Blindingly fast. You even tanked a bullet wound. I’m a lot tougher than a regular human, but you were like something out of a Marvel movie.”
