He wraps his fingers gently around mine, stopping my hand, and shakes his head. “No, Alvin. It’s not. And the last thing you should be doing is taking care of me. I crossed a line. And maybe there’s no going back.” His jaw tightens with conviction, his words filled with gravity. “But… unless you know someone else with magic who can help, this is still the best way. I’m telling you, that elf will not come through. Not how you need him to. It’s not in his nature.”
Prince Eirian really was my last option, but Rafa is probably right about him. Even Stryker has said more than once that elves are assholes. And this one in particular has done some pretty sketchy stuff.
I lower my head, defeated. “I… don’t know what else to do.”
He nods. “So, let’s find a way to make you feel safe. With me.”
“How?”
“Use your powers. I remember how that felt. You were in complete control. Leave them on me the whole time, and I won’t be able to do anything you don’t want me to.”
I pull my hand from his and step back, horrified. “Rafa, I told you. I’m not making someone have sex with me against their will. I’m not down for making anyone do anything against their will!”
A small smile returns to Rafa’s face. “It’s not against my will. I really do want to have sex with you. I’ve wanted it since I got you out of that house with thevampires and had you in my SUV. I know exactly what I’m asking for.”
He purses his lips and searches the air for some answer. “Look, consenting adults use all kinds of constraints. The fact that this is magic doesn’t change things. Think of it like, I don’t know—fuzzy handcuffs!”
It’s so not what I expect him to say, I just blink while his words rattle around my tiny brain. But when they land, I can’t help it—I burst out laughing.
“Ha. Hahahaha!”
Then Rafa laughs with me. And at least 90% of the tension that had me wound up tight floats away into the night in just a few seconds of us guffawing like idiots.
“Fuzzy handcuffs?” I say, snorting. “Seriously?”
He’s smirking back, his expression a bit naughty. “Forexample. I’m just saying, there’s some precedent.”
I shake my head, still pulling myself together.
He continues, “And it’s not actually that bad a metaphor. I...” He narrows his eyes, building courage. “I actuallylikethe idea of you being in control. I’ve been thinking about what happened last night, and the way I felt while you were doing your thing to me”—he glances away, and bites his own lip, like he’s just admitting something to himself—“and now that I know I can trust you, it was honestly… really, really hot.”
Rafa is straight-up blushing as he says that—which, since my stomach isn’t tied up in knots anymore, I have to admit is kind of hot in itself. He truly is Instagram-influencer handsome, and this bashful boy thing does something for me. But we are in uncharted territory, way off the map.
“Rafa, I don’t know. This could just be some aftershocks or whatever from my power. It might be addictive.”
He meets my eyes. “I don’t think that’s what this is. The truth is… there’s, um, some precedent with me, too.” He scrubs the back of his neck. “With what I do, it’s life or death, right? I have to be so in control—which means, in my off-hours, I’ve looked for other dudes where I could let go of that completely. Most guys, they can’t handle me. You’re the first boy I’ve really been into who could turn the tables and actually deliver.” His chest deflates and he grimaces, helpless. “Is it such a weird fantasy for a Monster Hunter to want to be dominated by a monster—or a ‘paranormal,’ anyway—if he genuinely felt safe with him? If it was with a guy he really liked?”
“Yes, that is totally weird,” I reply. But I’m smiling. It does make some kind of sense, I guess.
“You swear this isn’t something new?” I fidget my thumb against the edge of my index finger, trying to wrap my head around this. “I mean, you know what I am. And last night, letting go of control around me was the last thing you wanted.”
“Last night, I wasn’t myself, for lots of different reasons. And Ididn’tknow who you were. Now I do. That changes things.”
I pull the duster tighter around me, still feeling the heat of his body, and suck in my lower lip. “So, you’re saying this is really what you want?”
“Yes, Alvin,” he replies, voice soft, this big, strong guy suddenly shy. “Even if it wasn’t what you needed to save the world, I would still want it.” He cocks a sly grin,revealing his pearly white teeth. “The saving the world part is honestly just a bonus.”
That gets me to laugh again. He’s being charming.
And I guess Iambeing charmed. At least a little.
But I shoot him a pointed look. “You realize that if we do this, you won’t be able to come with me to the Benevolent Society. At best, you’ll be exhausted afterwards. You’ll be in no state to fight anyone.”
“I know,” he replies, voice sober. There is no doubt in his eyes. It really does seem like he understands what this means.
I duck my head in surrender.
“Okay,” I say. “Okay. We cantry.”
