Gabriel rights himself, sitting back in the chair as he picks up his mug. His other hand reaches out to James, who’s anxiously pacing as much as he’s able to in the limited space. His eyes are lingering on Stockholm’s station that he can tell is coming up in the distance. “Come on, sit down for a minute.”
James hesitates, just slightly. His gaze flicks between Gabriel’s outstretched hand and the window. In the end it’s the soft look on the other’s face that wins him over as he slides his own hand into Gabriel’s.
He’s gently tugged forward, guided toward his own chair which conveniently seems to have gravitated closer to Gabriel’s. They’re almost sitting side by side, hands still clasped together. Gabriel’s thumb starts to rub gentle circles across James’ knuckles. “We’ll be there in ten minutes, and intwenty we’ll be on our way into town,” Gabriel reminds him with a level of patience he’s not known anyone else to possess. “In an hour we’ll be at the museum, which will leave us with plenty of time to go into Gamla Stan later.”
He pauses a little, eyes searching James’ face. “And we’ll do dinner on the train, for which I know you’ve already made reservations.”
The train won’t leave Stockholm until well after dinner, as per the crew’s information this morning. This gives people plenty of time to stretch their legs a little, see the city and have something to eat if they don’t want to have their meal on the train. It’s just their luck that tonight is one of the à la carte days in the restaurant and James intended to eat onThe Evergreen.
And he can’t make himself bring any more changes to the itinerary, even if he’d like to have more time in the city. “You’re right, I know that.” James plucks a little piece of lint of his brown corduroy trousers, flicking it away without a thought. “Changes of plans, you know?”
“I do, yeah,” Gabriel reminds him, smiling softly when their eyes meet. He reaches out with his other hand and smooths down the collar of James’ button down. “But, if the train didn’t get stuck somewhere at Trollveggen we wouldn’t have seen the lights either. So that was a good outcome of a change of plans, right?”
James huffs out a little laugh. Only Gabriel could turn it around like this. He’s right of course, but James’ mind wasn’t able to look at it like that, until Gabriel pointed it out. He sits back a little, a smile tugging at his lips and his shoulders losing a bit of their tension. “You always know exactly what to say.”
He knows better than to apologize, no matter how much he wants to. He just hopes that Gabriel doesn’t take it as something personal, when he reacts like this when something happens. The satisfied smirk settling on his partner’s lips says that he knows exactly how much he helped, and how much it’s taking James not to excuse himself.
“Now,” Gabriel declares, pulling the both of them to their feet as the train finally rolls into Stockholm, “we’ve got a city to explore and new snacks to eat.”
*
The quickest way into the city is by tram. Something that James feels he’s really started to master during this trip. In his notebook he’s written down the instructions to the bus, since the route takes you through the entire city. But with the time restraint every bit of extra time is crucial, so the ten minutes they win by taking the tram really help.
Gabriel’s silently walking beside him when they get off the tram. It’s a beautiful walk of just a few minutes, which takes them across the bridge toward the Vasa Museum. Gabriel’s holding his phone, showcasing the directions and leadingthem the right way. The way he’s somewhat taking control during the day helps James to be able to enjoy the sights around them. It almost seems like it’s helping him stay more present, something he didn’t know was possible when not being on top of things.
Once they get to the museum, it’s James’ turn to make sure everything’s in order and show their reservation. Without any trouble they’re let in and soon they’re stepping into the dimly lit exhibit. It’s absolutely magnificent in its multitude.
The hall smells like tar and is filled with wooden warships, showcasing the country’s history at sea and the masterful way in which these vessels were built. In the center of it all sits an impressive centuries old ship. It’s intimidating in sheer size alone, and walking up the stairs provides a different view of it with each step. The details of the wooden paneling, the worn linen hanging between the posts and the battered pattern on the hull – it all tells the story of a resilient country and the battles they’ve fought.
It’s things like this that make the trip even more special. Learning new things, immersing himself in the culture, and now, with Gabriel’s hand still clutched in his, it feels like it’s taken on a whole new level of remarkable. He left London to finally grant himself the chance to broaden his horizons, and he’ll be coming back feeling stronger and steadier than he’s ever felt before.
On the highest floor, looking down at the hall in its entirety, James finds himself being pulled against the solid frame of Gabriel’s body. The velvet-like material of Gabriel’s dark green sweater is soft underneath his hand when it comes to rest against his collarbone. James arches an eyebrow.
Gabriel’s a lot more affectionate than he thought he would be with his partners. In no way is James complaining, tactile and touch-starved are twin phrases in his life.
“I saw they’re serving meatballs in the restaurant,” The man pressed against him says, his breath fanning over James’ face at their proximity. “How about a quick bite to eat before we head out into the cold?”
James nods, getting lost in the grayish green of Gabriel’s bright eyes. He enjoys how the hue changes during the day, depending on the amount of light and Gabriel’s own feelings. “I could go for something warm.”
The restaurant matches the welcoming atmosphere of the museum, shares the same coziness as the restaurant onThe Adventurer. James immediately feels at ease. It’s not easy to settle in and relax. But the food is decadent and worth it, even if he knows he’s being angsty and Gabriel’s rushing through his own meal because of it.
As Gabriel nearly chokes on the last of his drink, having chugged it back, James winces. He ducks back into himself, shoulders hunching inward. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t-”
This time Gabriel doesn’t cut him off with words, but the arch in his eyebrow and the way his mouth turns down is enough to stop James mid-sentence. When he snaps his mouth closed, the corner of Gabriel’s lip turns up. He grabs his jacket, pulling it on and takes the bill with him toward the front. James is left to scramble after him, hastily pulling his own coat over his shoulders.
Gabriel pulls up the directions to Gamla Stan on his phone, and after some consideration they do take the bus back to the city center this time. Gabriel makes him get into the row first, giving him the window seat. James settles into the seat happily, even for the short trip, and watches the sights of the city pass them by.
“Anything in particular left over on your list?”
James wants to retort with the obvious, the things he missed yesterday, but thinks better of it and says, “The market, really. They’re supposed to have classic cinnamon buns. And the multicolored houses.”
“Hmmm, the buns sound nice,” Gabriel comments. It sends James into a fit of giggles and leaves Gabriel with a smug little smile on his face, clearly proud of himself.
The market is everything he’s seen online and more. The later time of day has blanketed the city into a haze of grays and blacks, making the Christmas lights twinkle brighter and heightening James’ sense of smell. And does that do wonders.The area smells of mulled wine, fresh pine trees and the distinct aroma of baked pastries and sugar. It feels homely, even through the crowdedness, and not only is James happy with Gabriel by his side, their proximity also helps in all the best ways. It feels like nothing’s really changed between them, other than that he knows what it’s like to hold Gabriel’s hand for real now, and not just to spite his terrible ex.
It’s easy, the flow of their conversation and the way Gabriel seems to just know what exactly James would want to see at the stalls. Whenever they get the chance, they stop to admire the colorful street, even in the darkness that’s slowly setting over the streets.
They indulge in cinnamon buns, share a mug of hot chocolate, try brända mandlar – roasted almonds covered in sugar - and barely make it back in time for their reservation onThe Evergreen. They’re tripping over themselves in heaps of laughter, flinging their bags into their cabin and rushing into the dining carriage with just a few minutes to spare. Some of the patrons already inside follow them with judgment-filled eyes and badly concealed sneers at the rude interruption to their quiet evening. For the first time, James can’t find it in himself to care about any of it.
