“Morning,” he rasps, pressing himself closer to James. “Happy Christmas Eve.”
James blinks slowly, yawning. “The day just started, hardly eve yet.”
“Shh,” Gabriel shushes, pulling him in for a lingering kiss. James all but melts into it. His own hands wander up into Gabriel’s hair, tugging a little at the wild strands. Still slow and soft, Gabriel whispers, “Any plans for the day?”
James shakes his head as much as he’s able, still held within Gabriel’s strong arms. With a little smirk, mischief dancing in his eyes, he whispers back, “Thought we could watchThe Polar Express.”
“Really?” Gabriel’s snort is soft. “A movie about a train, searching for the spirit of Christmas? Wherever did you get that idea?” James knows it’s a won battle before he’s even started fighting, as he finds glee and comfort in Gabriel’s gaze.
The rest of the morning they indulge in the breads, spreads and good coffee. Their pajamas stay on, although James does shower to somewhat start the day. He offers to get them a refill for the coffee, bringing back some holiday themedpastries and a reminder that dinner is served at six tonight.
In the afternoon Gabriel cuddles him close whileThe Polar Expressplays on the little screen balanced on the bed. For a few hours it’s easy to forget the world. With the curtains still drawn it’s hard to tell what time it is exactly, the day could be rushing by or passing at a snail’s pace. The only thing he needs to know is how content he is in Gabriel’s arms, in Gabriel’s presence.
*
How different had this day been last year? Stuffed into a suit that itched in all the wrong places, sitting in the middle of an overcrowded restaurant?
And now he’s here. In a situation that feels familiar but is completely new and eye opening. The candles on the table, the soft music playing in the background and the gorgeous man sitting opposite him are a mirror to that night, exactly one year ago today. The only difference? The man filling up their wine glasses isn’t only beautiful to look at, he’s patient beyond words and kind to everyone who deserves it. He’s flawed, with his ragged edges and his stubbornness. In James’ eyes it just makes him even better.
Unlike a year ago, he’s not sitting in a full restaurant, with people chattering around him and waiters passing behind his back every five minutes. His anxiety level feels steady, his hands free of moisture and his lips aren’t set in a firm linetrying to hide the secondhand embarrassment from his boisterous companion. Looking back, he wonders why he even said yes when Paul made a big show of getting up from the table and sinking down on one knee. When all James had wanted was a quiet Christmas dinner, but became the center of attention instead.
Now, he’s tucked away in a cozy, dimly lit cabin on one of the most beautiful still operating steam trains in the world and getting ready to tuck into a Christmas dinner that smells heavenly. From opposite him Gabriel’s eyes are focused on him, looking for any signs of discomfort or anxiousness. James is thrilled that the initial anxiety he woke up with managed to fade during the day and his mind is fully present, and fully focused, on this moment.
He’s content with the choice Gabriel made of having their Christmas dinner in their room, tucked away in their comfortable space. He’ll have to praise the crew that made it possible. It’s a good way to ensure that people have the Christmas dinner they wish to have.
They’ve even gone as far as to include two souvenir mugs, embellished with a print of the beautifulEvergreen Adventurerand filled to the brim with chocolates, as a gift for the holidays. It rounds up the tastefully decorated table nicely.
Gabriel lifts up the food covers, unveiling a hearty looking roast. Before they dig in, he raises his wine glass in a toast.James hefts his to clink them together.
Softly, like it’s something to cherish, Gabriel whispers, “Happy Christmas,love.” The pink rushes into James’ face so fast that the force of the heat startles him. It takes a lot of focus not to slacken his grip with the way the nickname hits him and settles deep into his stomach. Gabriel’s own cheeks redden as well, the blush sitting high against his ears.
Putting down the wine glass, making sure that it’s sitting steady in the little space he manages to wring it into, he reaches out to Gabriel to lace their fingers together. Gabriel swallows, his throat constricting with the force of it. With equally as soft a tone, James returns the sentiment, “Happy Christmas,sweetheart.”
The way Gabriel’s eyes fill with tears has James blink back his own as well. The moment feels significant and heavy, filled with every emotion he missed the year prior. It’s hard to believe that just 365 days ago he made a choice that in hindsight looks so very wrong he’ll never be able to quite look at his own judgment the same way again. It’s made him see just how unsatisfied and discontent he was.
If only a week with Gabriel feels like this, he can’t wait to see how he feels next Christmas Eve. Surrounded by the warm light of their bedside lamps, the flickering of the fake candle in between them and filled with so much warmth he can feel it in the tips of his toes, he leans over the table and presses a gentle kiss to Gabriel’s lips.
35 [Gabriel] From Cologne to Amsterdam
December 24th & December 25th
Gabriel has never had a Christmas like this. Until now, every Christmas had been about galas and big elaborate dinners. The holidays were used as an excuse to flaunt just how much money his parents had and just how little qualms they felt about spending it on unnecessary things. Laying back against the covers, James’ head pillowed on his chest and another one of those classic Christmas movies playing on his tablet, he can’t recall a moment he’s felt more content, more at ease.
Dinner was nice. Nothing too elaborate, too fancy or complicated. Just a freshly made dish, with a nice wine to drink alongside it. He’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop, for James to react to the revelation of who Gabriel is. But by the looks of it, it’s not coming. Not entirely shocking, if he takes into account that James has also broken away from his circle of wealth. It’s still proving to be a nice change, since it’sthe first time his heritage doesn’t seem to matter.
The evening passes slowly. The movie ends and another automatically starts playing. By then it’s mostly background noise to him as he’s turned his focus to the man in his arms. The soft, golden curls feel like silk underneath his touch. James’ breath comes in even puffs, slow in rhythm and soft in sound.
If he wasn’t enjoying the sensation of James’ hand trailing along the hem of his shirt, fingers sliding underneath to seek warmth, he would’ve thought he had fallen asleep. It’s been a nice change to be able to be with James like this, to enjoy the silent comfort of each other’s company and not feel pressured to break it. Gabriel knows it’s the only time of day that James’ head isn’t filled with to-do lists and running on intruding thoughts.
The second movie ends. The man laying on his chest has most likely fallen asleep fully. If the slow huffs of breath, intermitted with short snores are any indication. James’ hand has found its way completely underneath Gabriel’s shirt and is radiating a warm pressure point on the low of his back. He really couldn’t have asked for a better way to spend Christmas Eve. He smiles to himself as he gently presses a kiss to the crown of James’ head.
Just before midnight the lights in the hallway flicker off, dimming the little strip of light that shines from underneaththe crack of the door. Minutes later the train starts moving andThe Evergreen Adventurerbegins its journey to Amsterdam.
From where he’s dozing alongside James he hears his phone buzz on the nightstand. He reaches out to grab it, simultaneously clicking off the lamp. The room falls into complete darkness, marking the end of the wonderful day and a beautiful start to this year’s Christmas.
There are a few messages waiting for him, his lockscreen displaying two missed calls as well. Both calls are from his mother and are easily discarded. The messages are from his friends, wishing him happy holidays and confirming the details for tomorrow.
It’s only then that he realizes that he’s made plans for Christmas Day, without accounting for James. When he made the plans it was with full conviction that the trip meant the two of them both doing their own thing and occasionally meeting up for dinner or when the activity called for it. Even though he wanted more, he assumed that it wouldn’t actually be happening.
