Page 61 of So My Ex-Boyfriend is a Serial Killer

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“I know. We’re all the villain in someone’s story, right?”

He grunts.

Which is when I see the vehicle. A dark sedan with tinted windows rolling slowly down the street, right behind us. And it’s not like we’re strolling in the middle of the road. We’re walking on the grass so the dog can inspect people’s front yards. There’s plenty of room for the driver to go around us and get on with their night, if that was what they wanted. But it isn’t what they do. Nope. They continue trailing us.

Auggie tugs on the leash, leading Noah toward a garden gnome posed beside a mossy boulder in someone’s yard. It’s a smiling statue wearing a hat at a jaunty angle. No idea what the thing could have possibly done to upset him, but my dog lifts his leg and pees like his life depends on it. Noah raises his browsat me and waits patiently for the canine to be done. Which is apparently going to take an eternity.

And the car is still hanging behind us, moving slowly in and out of the pools of light cast by the streetlights. The driver’s-side window lowers. What are the chances this is the same sedan from earlier, when I drove out to the hotel?

There’s something awfully familiar about this, and I have the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach. All of the dread. “Noah…”

“Yeah?” He turns my way again. Then he sees the car coming closer at such a sedate pace and frowns. “What the hell?”

I half expect a hand with a gun to appear out the side window. But no. Tires suddenly scream and the scent of burnt rubber fills the air. The car lurches forward, veering off the road, right toward me. I turn and sprint down the street. Leading them away from Noah and Auggie. Thank fuck I wore tennis shoes. Auggie starts barking and Noah shouts something. My heart is hammering, blood pounding loudly behind my ears. But it’s not enough to drown out the roar of the oncoming engine.

I have a head start, but it’s only going to take them a couple of seconds to catch up to me. I know that any moment now the car is going to hit me. Squish me like a bug, or send me flying into outer space. Turning toward a house might be my best move. I have all of a moment to make up my mind.

The next streetlight is a while away, but in the yard ahead of me is a big old tree. It’s not a good plan, but it’s all I’ve got. I sprint straight for the tree. To hide behind it or something. The muscles in my legs start to burn. You need to be a special kind of person to commit vehicular homicide. To want to crash your car into someone. And I hope they’re just that fixated on me.

There’s a pickup truck parked in front of the yard, leaving no room for the driver to make a last-minute change in direction. If they follow me, they’re fucked. But what I didn’t account for is the tangle of gnarled roots at the tree’s base. The toe of my shoecatches and my own momentum sends me sprawling on the cold hard ground.

It’s deafening…the crash when the car hits the tree. Metal screeches and sparks fly as the bumper bar wraps around the trunk and the front of the car compresses. And the mighty old tree groans but miraculously doesn’t give. I am lying there waiting to be dead or something. I don’t know. The car is so close to me. But it doesn’t happen.

Auggie’s warm wet tongue drags up the side of my face. I have never been so grateful to get covered in doggie slobber. Best worst sensation ever.

“Sid,” says Noah, eyes wide with panic. “Are you okay?”

“Hey.”

He carefully helps me up to my feet. I am dazed and confused, shaking from head to toe. Like you do after a damn near-death experience. I think I am in shock. But apart from some bruises from hitting the ground, and small cuts from broken glass, I seem to be mostly unharmed. Which is fucking amazing and definitely not the case for the person inside the vehicle.

The woman is like a broken doll propped up in the driver’s seat. Her usually perfect hair and makeup are all messed up. Blood seeps from her nose and the corner of her mouth. Given the force she hit the tree with, the front half of the car seems partially embedded in her chest.

“Hi, Dianne.” I watch her through the window. “I honestly expected you to be Laura. But I should have known.”

Noah is already dialing emergency services.

Dianne spits out blood and sneers. She’s deep in her villain era. At least now we know her son came by his homicidal tendencies honestly. “Your cousin was mouthy too.”

“That was you, huh?”

She tries to laugh but she’s fading fast. The way blood is bubbling on her lips isn’t a good sign. And I just stand there and watch like I bought a ticket for the whole damn gruesome show.

“H-he’s going to get out,” she says, struggling to speak.

“I highly doubt it now. You messed up making it look like I killed Grace. I have an alibi for that night. But I’m guessing you already know that. It’s what made you desperate enough to do this shit.”

It takes her a moment to force out the words. “The police want to talk to me but…I won’t…give them the satisfaction.”

“Getting away with murder is harder than it looks. Your son could have told you that.”

Her head slumps to the side as her gaze dims. No idea if she’s actually dead, or unconscious. Nor do I really care. Some people are devoid of humanity. Dianne deserves this dismal ending and the mess she made. And if this thought makes me an unkind or heartless and harsh person, then so be it. I will be out here representing the bitter bitches. Because the truth is, I am not big on forgiveness when it’s neither asked for nor earned.

Auggie sits at my feet, pressing his small warm body against the side of my leg. Being a comforting presence. Lights have turned on in nearby houses. Sleepy and stunned locals start to gather on the road and grass around us. Some of them are even holding up phones to record the scene. And soon enough, sirens can be heard racing our way. Noah carefully wraps me in his arms and I hold onto him for dear life.

The last time I was being assessed in the back of an ambulance, my ex had tried to kill me. It sucks to be in a similar situation. Due to a member of the same family even.

Imagine living a quiet life. What would that even look like? To not have two members of the same family try and send you to the other side. How wild. Noah is nearby giving a statementwhile Auggie lounges at his feet. I get sort of frantic if they’re out of sight. Like I keep needing to know they’re okay.