“Next?” I asked. “I mean, depending on how this launch goes, we can try other metros in Texas.”
He smiled, shaking his head slightly. “That’s great, but I meant what’s next for us.”
I raised my eyebrows. “What do you mean?” I asked. We’d built our home to be perfect for us–there would be no moving away. And he loved owning his own herd of cattle.
“I know I'm aging like a fine wine,” he said, “but I'm not exactly a spring chicken anymore.”
I tilted my head to the side, waiting for him to explain.
“Children, Mags.”
2
RHETT
I studied her face carefully,waiting for her reaction.
Over the years, we had visited and revisited the subject of starting a family, but the timing always felt off. First there was her opening her salon, and then there was me purchasing my own cattle herd and taking care of the animals. And then it was her opening another location and another location. And then it was me bringing on help, because I couldn't manage it all myself. But I was starting to wonder if there ever would be a good time for us. Or if a family just wasn't in the cards.
She looked down at the table and then pushed her plate away a little bit so she could fold her hands in front of her. “I guess I am getting older,” she said.
I dipped my head in acknowledgement. Never in a million years did I think I'd be the kind of person to have to have this conversation, but time changed things. Now, there really was no getting around it. Even if she was sitting quietly, tossing thoughts around that pretty mind of hers. “What are you thinking?” I finally asked.
She shook her head slightly. “I thought I would know when I was ready for kids. But I haven't ever felt this burning need yet, if that makes sense.”
I nodded, knowing what she meant. For a long time, Maggie and I felt like enough, but then my mom mentioned something about wondering if she’d ever see a grand-baby from me.
I told her not to rush me, but she pointed out that Mags and I may be running out of time, and it really got me thinking.
Seeing my sister and my brothers have children, I knew I’d miss having a family of my own. But I'd never want to do anything to make Maggie uncomfortable or derail her dreams.
Maggie looked up at me again. “I love my business,” she said.
I nodded. “I know. You're changing lives, making a lot of women feel beautiful. Not to mention giving so many people jobs.”
Her eyes shined at the compliment. “Thank you.” She picked up her fork and moved around some pulled pork that didn't look all that appetizing anymore. And then she sat her fork down again and said, “Can I have some time to think about it?”
“Of course,” I replied. “I just feel like we need to decide, or the clock will decide for us.”
She nodded slowly. “I understand.”
We finished our dinner and then went to the hotel where we'd be staying before going back home the next day. At this point, we were so ingrained in our nighttime routines that the next hour felt like a well-oiled machine. She had all sorts of stuff that she put on her face before bed, and she'd even gotten me started on a skincare routine. I wasn't even mad about it–my face felt baby smooth, and I secretly liked the pampering at the end of a long day.
With her patches underneath her eyes and her hair up in heatless curlers, we slid into bed next to each other. I put out my arm so that she could lay her head on my shoulder, and we were silent for a moment, just breathing.
My hands splayed on her stomach. Her curves melded to my fingers, comfortable and familiar. Safe.
I knew if it was just the two of us, I would be okay. But there was still a part of me hoping that she would come around one day.
While I drove backtoward Cottonwood Falls, Maggie worked in the passenger seat responding to emails and placing orders for supplies. With my wife occupied, I listened to music and chatted on the phone with a couple of my family members. Gage was still living in Dallas, so we didn’t get to see each other as often as I did the others.
I even got a call in to Cooper. He and Camryn were taking The Windmill Wagon and going out of town for Christmas with their kids. It was fun to chat with him, even if he had to yell at his kids every now and then, saying things like,Do not touch your mama’s bra!andGet the lipstick away from the dog!
“I swear,” he muttered, “It's like they wait until I'm on the phone to need me.”
I chuckled, trying to ignore that little bit of jealousy growing in my stomach. I was happy for him and Camryn–especially since seven years ago I was doubting their quick marriage and family. But clearly, when you know, you know.
We pulled up to home and I smiled at the sight of our house illuminated by Christmas lights. They twinkled like the stars themselves had come down from the sky to celebrate the holidays with us.
