When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against hers. "I love you too. And I don't want to go. But I also don't want you to resent me later for giving up everything without having a plan for what comes next."
"So what do we do?"
"I don't know." He pulled her closer, holding her like she might disappear. "But I do know I'm not making this decision tonight. Not when I'm this scared of making the wrong choice."
"When does Jake need to know?"
"Tomorrow night. Entries close at midnight."
Tomorrow night. Less than a day to figure out if love was enough to build a future on, or if they were both deluding themselves into thinking this could work.
"Then we have until tomorrow night," she said. "Let's not waste it fighting."
He kissed her again, softer this time, and she let herself believe for just a moment that everything would work out. That love would be enough. That he would choose her.
That she wouldn't wake up alone tomorrow, with nothing but memories and a broken heart.
Chapter 10
Dustin
Dustin lay in bed staring at the ceiling, listening to Vanessa move around in her room getting ready for another day of interviews. She'd barely slept. Neither had he. They'd spent most of the night on opposite sides of the wall, both pretending they weren't thinking about what morning would bring.
His phone buzzed. Jake:Entries close at midnight. You in or out?
He should have answered days ago. Should have made this decision before he'd fallen in love with her, before he'd started imagining futures that included waking up next to her for the rest of his life.
But he hadn't. And now the choice felt impossible.
He heard the coffee maker start in the kitchen. She was going through the motions of her morning routine, but he could hear the difference in her movements. Slower. Heavier. Like someone bracing for impact.
His phone rang. Bill Tracy. He almost didn't answer, but Bill had been his sponsor for five years. The man deserved more than radio silence.
"Morning, Bill."
"You dodging my calls for a reason?" Bill's voice was gravelly with early morning cigarettes. "Because Jake's been on my ass wanting to know if you're coming to Oklahoma, and I'm running out of excuses."
"I know. I'm just..." He sat up, running a hand through his hair. "I'm trying to figure some things out."
"About the rodeo or about that woman you're renting from?"
The directness shouldn't have surprised him. Bill had always been good at reading between the lines.
"Both."
"Figured." Bill was quiet for a moment, and Dustin heard the flick of a lighter. "Look, I've been doing this for a long time. Seen a lot of good riders burn out, get injured, lose their nerve. You know what the successful ones have in common?"
"What?"
"They know when to get out. When to transition before the sport chews them up and spits them out broken." Another pause. "You're one of the best natural riders I've seen in twenty years, Dustin. But you're also smart enough to know you can't do this forever."
"I know."
"If you could stay in the horse business without getting your skull cracked open every weekend, would you?"
The question landed differently than Dustin expected. "Yeah. I would."
"Then I've got something you need to hear. Remember that training facility idea we talked about? The one where you'd work with young horses and riders?"
