But I am strong enough to carry this.
Blinking back tears, I shut the door and go to the adjoining bathroom to shower. There’s makeup, soap, and perfume on the sink. He must have let his staff know I was coming tonight, because everything I need is laid out, waiting for me, like they’re preparing to sacrifice me on the Caudills’ altar.
Ignoring the shiver running down my spine, I try not to think about that as I clean up. The dress is sparkling beige, so tight, I have to wriggle to get into it, with matching shoes. Everything was selected with Leland’s eye in mind, from the cloth that clings to my curves to the diamonds that match my former engagement ring.
Nothing gets by Brothers Boyd.
I clip downstairs in my towering heels. After being on the road, in Montana, and in the gorge, it’s surreal being dressed up. It’s like none of it happened, like Jensen and his backwoods pretty face was nothing but wishful thinking.
Brothers is standing in the hall, on his phone. His eyes glint as he hears my step, and his face softens the closer I get.
“Is this alright?” I ask stiffly.
He puts his hands on my shoulders as that achingly familiar paternal expression crosses his face.
“You’re a brave woman, Della,” he says quietly.
My throat tightens. I clear it. “I want my son back.”
“You might have to fight very hard.”
I lift my chin.
“I know,” I say. “And I will.”
He puts me in a car waiting in the driveway. The driver is to take me into the city, to the speakeasy where Leland always goes for business on Friday nights. We pull out onto the road and head into the city in the dark.
There’s a partition between me and the driver, so I’m all alone with my thoughts. They get away from me, going to the one thing I’ve never let them entertain. What happens if I get everything I want? Could I really get Landis and Jensen? Could we be the family I’m too scared to even dream of?
I close my eyes, jostling with every turn.
He’s guarded, a little bitter, but beneath his rough exterior, he’s got so much heart. I think I’d be proud if Landis grew up to be like Jensen. Of course, I’m getting ahead of myself. We’ve never even spoken of what our lives would look like after all this is done.
But I still close my eyes and dream of it all the way there.
CHAPTER THIRTY
JENSEN
We’re sparring in the back yard. It’s a hot day, and all the work is done until we run a shipment this evening. Brothers is in his casual clothes, fists up, wavering before my vision. I’ve been working for him for only two weeks, but in that time, a lot has changed. He’s taken over, doing all the things nobody ever did for me. Today, we got into a discussion about who would win if we fought. I admitted I’d never fought outside the schoolyard. He says he’s going to teach me how to stand, how to hold my fists.
We’re sparring under the oak tree behind the house. He says I’m way better than he expected. That feels good to hear, but it doesn’t stop him from flipping me onto my back, all the air from my lungs leaving me as I hit the cracked dirt.
He’s crouching, asking me if I’m okay. He says, sorry, should have gone a little easier on you there, Jen.
I say, no, let’s go again.
“Jen.”
My eyes snap open. Overhead is a sickeningly familiar ceiling. I’ve laid in this bed and looked up at it a hundred times before. My body seizes, and I bolt upright, scrambling back against the headboard.
My things are piled beside the bed. My belt, my gun. Otherwise, I’m still dressed.
“You’re alright.”
My eyes focus, sticky. He’s standing in the window, in his pants and undershirt, suspenders hanging loose. It must be early for him not to be properly dressed yet.
“Della,” I whisper. “Where is she?”
