I’m looking at it.
She pulls back, and he’s gazing up at her like she hung the damn moon and stars. He says something, and she laughs, hair rippling. They both set their glasses aside. Then, she sinks to her knees between his boots. Her neon nails dig into the clasp of his leather belt.
That’s my cue to get the fuck out. I’ve already been scarred by Brothers enough. I don’t need to see him get blown.
Soundlessly, I go back upstairs and lie down. I’m pretending I can’t sleep because everything I just saw puts Brothers in a new light, a more human one. But, deep down, I’m staring up at the ceiling and wishing Della was back in my bed where she belongs.
My eyes burn when I peel myself out of bed around six. The spacious bathroom got an update. Everything is sleek gray, and it takes me several minutes of cursing to get the shower on. The dresser is stocked with clothes, the kind I’ve always worn. I pull on a clean t-shirt, work pants, and boots. He even bought my favorite brand with the thick soles, good for Montana winters.
I go downstairs. The house is empty, save for the dining room. There’s a security guard on the porch. Brothers sits at the head of the table, the Lexington Herald in his hand. He’s got the same breakfast he’s always eaten laid out—three strips of steak and a peeled orange.
I sink down. He looks up, offering a mild smile.
“How’d you sleep, Jen?”
“I didn’t.” I take a plate from the stack and fill it. A woman in a kitchen uniform appears and silently pours my coffee cup. “You probably didn’t get much rest either.”
His brow draws together. “How’s that?”
“I came down to the kitchen and walked past your office on the way back up,” I say, not giving a shit if I offend him anymore. “How’s it feel, inviting a Caudill into your home?”
His eyes narrow, and he leans back. “You already knew about Kayleigh.”
“You’re a sick fuck,” I say quietly.
“Oh?”
“You know what Leland will do to her if he finds out.”
“She knows the risks.” He flicks his cheek with his tongue.
“Same way I did?” I say. “Same way Holly did?”
An image of Holly on my grandmother’s kitchen floor pierces my mind. Dead eyes open, blood matting the hair she used to brush out in the mirror before wrapping it carefully in curlers. It felt like blasphemy to see all her beautiful hair ruined. I hope the funeral home fixed it for her before they put her in the dirt.
He sighs, steepling his fingers. “You have to put the bitter pill of what I did to you between your teeth and swallow it,” he says finally.
He’s right. There’s no working together if I can’t handle my resentment.
“I want to talk to Kayleigh,” I say. “She’s my only link to Della.”
I half expect him to say no, but he nods. “Fine. I’m seeing her for lunch today. You can come.”
“Alright,” I say. “Where are we going?”
“Down to the lake country,” he says. “Kayleigh’s particular. She likes this little place down there. Serves the wine she’s partial to.”
“She says jump and you say how high?”
He shakes his head, a flicker of exasperation in his eyes. “If I’m being honest, she’s got me by the balls.”
“Good,” I say. “I hope it hurts.”
He sighs, getting up. “I’ve got business. We leave at eleven.”
I watch him go, gazing out the window at the green fields outside. It’s a nice day, the sky bright blue and the bluegrass swaying. After everything, I need a second to breathe, outside of this house. I fetch my cigarettes from upstairs and leave through the side door, downthe winding path beside the barn. The horses are out, glimmering chestnut in the sun. I lean on the fence, watching them absently.
I miss her. She’s been gone a day, and I miss her so much, it hurts.
