I sign the receipt, and we make our way out the door, thankful for the next person singing at the mic who fills the void with sounds. Outside, we’re forced to stew in silence.
A cold breeze greets us. Harper pulls her jacket around herself, zipping it up and shoving her hands in her pockets. If things had gone a little better, I’d reach out and pull her hand in mine.
The streets of Reykjavik are lit with dim street lamps. A few people are walking around, mostly going in and out of restaurants, so we’re practically alone on the streets.
As we walk, I notice a white VW buggy parked on the side of the road. I glance over to see if Harper’s noticed it, but her eyes are on the ground.
“Punch buggy, white,” I say, giving her a light tap on the arm. It’s the game we’ve always played, and at the least I thought it might pull her out of whatever funk she’s in. She looks up and notices the buggy.
“Oh,” she says. And that’s it. No smile, no saying she wished she’d seen it before me.
“Are you okay?” I ask, because I can’t stand this silence any longer. Her face turns up, and for the first since I sang to her, she looks at me. She’s still biting her lip, her cheeks bright red and eyes glossy, like she’s one blink away from tears. She gives me a smile that’s fake and forced.
There’s a tear in my chest, knowing that I did this. I ruined our friendship. I took everything the two of us built and, in onemoment, tore it apart. I took the thing that we both treasured so much and made it crash and burn.
“Yeah,” Harper whispers. Another fake smile.
I curse to myself. Mostly because I want to wrap her in my arms, pull her to my chest, and hold her there until the pain stops.
She starts walking in front of me, eager to get back to the hotel where we’ll be staying tonight. She’s probably ready to go home so we can finally have space from each other.
We get into the lobby, and I follow Harper into the elevator. Her eyes are heavy and tired. When we get off at our floor, I realize that I don’t want the night to end here. Tomorrow we go home, and Harper’s last memory of Iceland will be me ruining our friendship.
Maybe Harper hates me right now for how I humiliated her, but I need the night to end differently.
“Want to go chase the northern lights?” I ask as Harper steps into the hotel room. She turns, her face questioning, like it’s a trick.
“Right now?” she asks.
It’s already almost eleven p.m. She’s probably exhausted and ready to sleep, but I need to try to give her this last thing.
“Why not?” I say, but it feels like I’m begging.
Chapter 38
Harper
Ihalf want to crawl into my bed and sleep, and half want to corner Luke and force him to explain why he’d dedicate a love song to me if he didn’t have feelings for me.
When we were walking back to the hotel, I was trying to work up the nerve to ask Luke about the song, but then he saw a VW bug, playfully punched me in the arm, and it was like he reset the friendship. It was his way of reminding me where we stood.
So why sing me a love song?
I was set on ending the night by taking a long, hot shower until the steam got so thick, I felt like the rest of the world didn’t exist. When Luke asked me if I wanted to search for the northern lights, I decided I was going to force him to give me answers, one way or the other.
My mind keeps going back to that song and then to that text message.
Thattext message was ajoke.
Luke is running around the hotel room, packing up most of our things and all the blankets and pillows he can find.
“What are we doing exactly?” I ask, happy that at least I have something else to focus on besides whatever’s going on between us.
“We’re going to drive out to somewhere with no lights and clear sky and stay out until we see the northern lights.” He says the words confidently, like there’s no other option of anything else happening.
We’ve been trying to see the northern lights since we got here. Why would tonight be any different?
“Where are we going?” I ask, grabbing my hat from where I’d left it on the nightstand. I also go through my suitcase and pull out my extra sweater. I don’t know what exactly Luke has in mind, but I feel like it will end with me being cold.
