“Lord Church has given me time to decide.”
“You say as though you haven’t already made your decision.”
Cedric bit the inside of his cheek. “I—I don’t want to hurt her.”
“You give yourself rather a lot of credit there, Sir Thorne. Tenny is a big girl. It’s been an age and a half since you two were last together. She has had a very long time to move on.” He sighed. “Does she even know her father has been attempting to arrange an engagement between the two of you? Don’t you think she might like to have a say in this sort of thing?”
“It isn’t as though we never talked about it,” Cedric said, brow furrowing. “Isn’t as though we hadn’t made plans topotentially, maybe, somedaymarry one another.” He sighed. “Back when we were just a little bit younger, before...”
Before Cedric had emerged from the Crucible an entirely different person. Before all the memories of his past had been rewritten. Before he’d met?—
“I know you, Ric.” Tristan clapped Cedric on the shoulder, right over the bruise Cedric knew was forming from his earlier hit during sparring, making him wince. “And you’ll only continue ruminating over this the longer it takes. Just speak with her, for fuck’s sake. Haveyou even talked to her at all—not about this, but just in general—since the ball? Since the attack?”
“When would I have had the time, Tristan?” Cedric was nearly yelling now, his frustration ready to boil over. Two people who were training across the yard stopped their sparring. A nearby squire lifted his head to see what was happening.
Cedric’s hands grew hot.
He cut his voice down to a harsh whisper. “Every bleeding moment of every bleeding day is spent in service to His Majesty’s wishes to present a unified Arcanis and my role in this sham. It’s not as though I’ve been avoiding her.”
Tenny had been present at most, if not all, of the victor events, in fact. Had been gracious and kind, ever the welcoming noble. She and Elyria both played their parts beautifully, but unlike the Revenant, Tenny wore no mask when she did so. All her charm, all her kindness, it was not a performance. It was just Tenny. Effervescence personified. And it made the very idea of dousing her spirit with a rejected proposal—even one she may not want herself—untenable.
Cedric exhaled heavily. “I only mean to tread carefully. Find her when the time is right. Upsetting her is the last thing I want, and if it’s my own sanity that must pay the price, then that is a fine cost to bear.”
“Fine, fine. It’s your life.” Tristan pursed his lips. “I only say these things because I care, you realize.”
Cedric huffed a laugh. “I amveryaware.”
“But I would caution you to mind that aforementioned sanity. Only because I know you’ll berate yourself about pursuing, uh”—Tristan’s gaze flitted toward the palace—“other thingsuntil this matter is settled.”
The relief that had Cedric’s shoulders dropping quickly morphed into guilt. His very soul felt heavy, weighed down by it all. By the constant refrain of his duties and his desires, all at war in his mind.
Elyria. Malchior. Zephyr. The lost princess. The crown. Lord Church. Tenny.
And howdidTenny feel about all this? Sometimes, when Cedric looked at her, he thought, yes, she felt the same as him. There was respect, honor, and, yes, of course, love there. For their shared history, their friendship. But they’d long since grown out of their childish affections for one another. Hells, Tenny wasn’t even the last one Cedric hadbeen with before he left for Luminaria.
Then again...why else would Lord Church be so insistent upon pushing the two of them together? Surely it could not simply be because of Cedric’s new title. The lord was devoted to his daughter’s happiness. Would he have his heart set on pairing Tenny and Cedric together if there weren’t alsofeelingsthere?
All the while Cedric’s own feelings were . . .
Even now, just the memory of that searing kiss outside Elyria’s chambers had Cedric’s heart clenched in an iron vise, his cock twitching in his pants. He cursed inwardly, trying to will away the physical response that just the thought of her stirred in him. It had been hard enough being with her the past few days without beingwithher. That ache in his chest so sharp it felt as though one of his ribs might snap if he wasn’t close to her, if he couldn’t feel her soft skin under his hands, if he didn’t get the chance to taste?—
Another soft clap on his shoulder stirred Cedric’s attention back to the present, the expression on Tristan’s face entirely too knowing as he turned to walk out of the training ring.
Cedric sighed.
Time. That was all he wanted. All he needed.
Time to rest. Time to breathe. Time to talk to them both.
And time to figure out what in all four quarters of hell he wanted.
14
THE MAGICSMITH
CEDRIC
Naturally,he wouldn’t get it.
