Moonhaven Cove, Oregon
97579
or
Attn: Draven Leto
@
I huffed again.My current straits were dire. I needed money quickly, and after the week I’d had, it irritated me that this man kept putting out this ad that was so ridiculous and was an utter waste of space. And it was a huge ad! That space could have and should have been used by genuine people looking for employees for their business. I didn’t know how it worked in newspapers, but what if real businesses were getting turned away for next week’s paper because this yahoo kept running an ad that was clearly meant as a joke for some unsuspecting fool?
I frowned at the ad again, reading through it a second time, then fired up my laptop, and started an email. I was going to tell this Draven Leto person that his joke of an ad wasn’t funny, and to please retract it. Placing a prank ad might be funny on any other day. A month ago, I might have laughed with the rest of Manhattan. I might have snickered into my favorite peppermint tea and rolled my eyes.
But today I was inches from getting kicked out of my apartment. I’d had to punch someone last night, who, yet again, didn’t seem to appreciate the word “no”, and I’d narrowly avoided what might have been a serial killer walking home. My hair was a tangle of wild in an I-will-tame-you-if-it’s-the-last-thing-I-do bun, I was stressed, and so tired, even after sleeping all night, that I could barely see straight. My 18-hour days had more than caught up to me.
Attn:[email protected]
Subject:Your ad
Mr. Leto,
I realizeyour ad is probably one big joke for you. Its placement nationwide, and possibly worldwide, means that you at least have the means to back up your pranks, but I need to inform you that your prank ad reduces viable space where other companies, and those looking to hire, might find applicants.
Applicants such as myself.
Since we do not live in a fictional world, and since there are no such beings as vampires, I have to assume that this ad’s audience was a person in your circle that you needed to get back at, or have a little fun with.
Normally, that would be funny. Hilarious, even, as it shows a lightheartedness that I would normally appreciate. But, between the lecherous men at my previous place of employment, my rent being past due, and there being zero food in my cupboards, I can tell you that your ad, on this side of the paper, was not at all funny.
In fact, I found it to be in poor taste.
Please, in the future, refrain from taking up valuable ad space with your pranks.
There are people out there that really need the job and roof over their head that legitimate ads provide the chance of.
Thank you for your time.
P.S.
I hopeyour friend at least found it funny.
Sincerely,Mia Durran
I hitsend and scrounged up some more ramen. It was cheap and filling, and my cupboards usually overflowed with the stuff.
I needed a job, and fast.
I spent the day polishing my resume, adding in my (hopefully) new degree, and proofing and submitting my finals. Later that afternoon, I got a return email with my graded papers. My teacher was lightning fast, and I smiled and internally cheered as I saw that I’d gotten all A’s. I was set to graduate a week from Friday. I danced around my apartment a bit at that news and wished I had some Martinelli’s to celebrate. But I ate another meal of ramen and surprisingly fell asleep with the irritating Draven Leto on my mind.
His ad irritated me, but for no reason at all, I found myself smiling when I thought of him. At least he had a sense of humor.
Little did I know that those exact feelings would pretty much be the same emotions Draven Leto would frequently bring out in me in the days to come.
Irritation.
And laughter.
