“Red,” I pant meekly, hating that Ihaveto.Hatingthat Idon’ttrust him to stop on his own.
He pullsback to look me in the eyes.
I glanceaway, ashamed that I stopped him from doing what he needstodo.
Rubbing his cheek against mine,my kingnudgesmy headback up.He pepperslittle kisses across my skin.Soft and loving and tender.
Forgive me,they seem to say.The tension thathasbeen radiating off him since heentered my rooms slowly startsto dissipate.
“I’m sorry I didn’t check in with you,” hesaysas herunshis tongue down my neck.“But you need to tell me too.You never mentioned yellow.”
I tremble beneath his caresses, puzzled by the sudden softness he’sexpressingandtensing in fear of the pain to come.
“Tell me what turned it into a red,” hesays, his hands trailing up my body to feather across my breasts.
A tear slipsdown my check.I tremble harder.The binds suddenlyfeeltoo tight.Too restricting.Making me too vulnerable to a man that wantsto hurt me, to really punish me for almost killing him.
I tug against the beam as another tear slidesfree.My breathscomefaster, my pulse just as quick.
Cursing, he liftsme up and wrapsmy legs around his waist.“Hold on to me,” hesays.“Give your arms a break.”Herunshis cheek across mine again, like a cat searching for comfort.“Hey, look at me.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to see the rage and fury inhis.The monster that wantsto hurt me.
Stroking my back, hedigshis fingers into my shoulder blades, massaging the muscles there, forcing me to relax physically if not mentally.
Slowly, I peekathis eyes and suck in a ragged breath when Iseetenderness radiating back at me.
“You’re not mad?”I ask, confused and hurt and still on the edge of being afraid.If heisn’tmad, whydidhe hurt me?
“I am but not because you called red.I’m mad at myself for not checking in, and I’m upset you didn’t call yellow first.”He kissesme, a quick peck on the lips.“This is about trust, Arienna,building trust, and we can’t do that without communication.”Herunsa hand through my hair, cupping the side of my face.“Do you understand?”
“You hurt me,” I murmur.“On purpose.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Glancing away, he exhalesroughly.“To punish you.”His eyes meet mine again.“When I woke up and Jace told me what you did… I wanted to hurt you like you did me.An eye for an eye.”
“I deserve it,” Isaysoftly.
“No, you don’t,” hesaysfirmly.“But my frustration is still there.It doesn’t go away just because I’ve decided to forgive you.”
“Why are you forgiving me?”I ask, so afraid of the answer being that he needsme forRaza.For somethingelse.Foranything other than just me.
He kissesme softly, his lips moving against mine.When his tongue brushesagainst me, I struggle not to recoil.But hedoesn’tforce his way in.Hejust rubsmy lip in between his until I’mpanting for him.
Slowly, ever so slowly, he slideshis tongue inside my mouth.As he strokesit against mine, Icanfeel the silent apology in his touch.In his kiss.
My hands twist inmybindings, wanting to touch him, needing to touch him.
Running his hands down my back, he kneadsthe tender skin of my ass.When he liftshis headfrom mine, I chase after him, wanting more ofthisgentle sweetness.
“For the same reason you decided not to kill me, I imagine,” hesays, making my heart jolt and then quicken.
Sucking in a sharp breath, I look him in the eyes andseeall my love looking back at me.
Guarded though.
