“Because he’s going to kill everyone!”
Oh yeah.
My eyes widen.
Drat.Oh yeah!Suddenly realising what I’vedone, I spin around and face the party.
Therearethousands of brownies here.It’sliterally the whole town.If everyone dies tonight, who will I have sex with?
Some people might be into necrophilia, but I sure as helam not.I like my men moving.And warm.And theircocksactually erect.And not smelling like –
“Hyatt!”Waving my arms, Irunout of theflowerstalkstowards him.The wedding party hasdissolved into pure chaos.No oneisdancingor fuckinganymore.Theyare all standingin a serpentine line in front of the venue’s doors, waiting for their turn to enter.Even the musicians and clownshavejoined them.
Drat.Geraldisgoing to be working all night, fining everyone for being rudebyruining the party.And Ineedto get laid.Like, soon as.Before the ambrosiawearsoff, and I redevelop –I shudder–standards.
Heading for the wooden bar,I grab a bottle of ambrosia andguzzleas much as Ican.Hopefully,thiswillkeep me going until Gerald’sno longer busy.Or Ifindsomeone else to replace him.
I wrinkle my nose as I eyethe rest of the bottle.
Nope.Even if Idrinkall of it, itwon’tbe enough to sway me into necrophilia.Shuddering, Idrinksome more to rid myself of such thoughts.
“You freaking idiots!”Fabia screamsas she cutsthrough the line.“Just get inside!”
Gasping, I raiseahand to my mouth.A good brownie never screams.They never cut in line.And they certainly neverdoboth at once.
Looking around the crowd, I search for Gerald.Hewillcome hurrying over soon enough, with his little notepad out and scribbling fines for her left and right.I wonder if those twowillever get along.If theydon’t, double date nightswillbeawkward.
As Fabia dashes inside, I drink the rest of the ambrosia inpreparation of having to bail her out of jail.Most browniescanget releasedon their ownwith a simple, “I promise not to do that again”, whichtakestwo freaking seconds.But she alwaysmakesit difficult.We’rethere for bloody hours, arguing about dumb rules and being in cults and whatever else she talksabout.Honestly, Idon’treally pay attention.
Tossing the empty bottle away, I stareat the white venue doors.Is thatGerald standing besideone, holding it open?
I groan.Drat.It is.Forget him workingallnight; hewill most definitely be deadsoonas events like this never end well for the door holders.
Unless the monster is contained.
Remembering that’s what I ran out of the meadow for in the first place, I start to stumble towards Hyatt.“Hey, baby,” I coo as I approach him as he munches through the wedding cake.He always did have a sweet tooth.“I need you to –”
“Get the fuck inside!”Fabia screams as she runs back out of the venue,twobottlesof mint spray in her hands.
With an angry buzz,Hyattrisesinto the air.Ashiverracesthrough me.He’sarightdick whenhe’sannoyed – as Bo found out when he stole his treat this morning.
I hope, for Hyatt’s sake, that he’smore polite this time.Fabiaisfreaking scary when she’sangry, especially when itcomesto dicks.
Just ask Lief.Homeless, traumatised Lief.
Ibringthe bottle back to my lips just asshereachesthe fountain I picked out a few weeks ago.Carved from stone, it depictsa man lying on his side in a pool of ambrosia.One arm propsup his chiselled jaw.The otherhasahold of his dick.Six delicious abs flow down his body.And a jet of bubbly liquid shootsout of his godly penis.I sigh.What I wouldn’t give to find a man like that.
Diving into a roll, Fabia dodgesHyatt’s first attack.Shecomesback up on her feet, then shovesaway the brownie who tried to give her a hand.Aimingabottle at Hyatt, her eyes narrowing,she fires.
A stream of liquid mint arcsbeside him as he weavesto the side.Buzzing angrily, he curlshis bottom half, aiming his stinger right at her.As hefliesin a straight line, Fabiaholdsher position and raisesbothbottles.
My mouth dropsopen in awe as she firestwo streams directly at his face.He pullsup, his wings flapping wildly, his body twisting and bobbing through the air as he triesto shake off the mint.Divingonthe nearest brownie, he wrapshis legs around her head andstingsher right in the mouth.Shefalls, unable to gasp, her throat swelling upfast.
“You are all idiots!”Fabia screamsas Hyatt chargesat her again.She ducksand divesandfightsand fireslike a freaking badass.The line slowly movesbehind her, everyone walking in an orderly and polite fashion.
Figuring I should go help before itgetsout of hand, Itake a step forward.The world tiltssharply.The floorcomesup and meetsmy face.“Why, hello there,” I mumble against the cold grass.Kissing it, I giggle.
Grabbing hold of a chair, I pull myself up.
