I still, a smile pulling at my lipsasthe tensioneasesfrom my shoulders.She’sfaking it.Icanhear it in her too-high voice thatdoesn’tquiver with nearly enough pain.
Sheholdsher arm to her chest as she slowlysitsup.She glancesat me through her hair.“It’s fine,” she assuresme.“I am feeling much better now.”
I reach for her, my eyes never leaving her face.“Just a moment ago, you were crying in pain.”
“I wasn’tcrying,” shesaysas Itakeher arm to study it,needingto check and make sure.“I was informing you that I’d fallen.”Her armshakesin my hands.Her faceispale.Her eyes flickeraround me, then widen, and I know she’sseeing the blood and bits that inconsiderate asshole left behind.
“Clean it up,” Isayover my shoulder.“Now.”
“We’re already on it,” Jace replies.
Cupping her face, I move my head so I’mback in her line of sight.“Look at me.”
“Why did you do that?”she asks.“I thought you were going to kill him.”
“Is that why you ‘rushed down the stairs and fell’?”
Her eyes snap to mine.“His scream… How do you live with them?”
My jaw ticsas thedoubledoorsclose behind us.The people outside will want to know if they should wait or go home, but all I care about is soothing the worries of my queen.
“It’s part of being king.I listen to them so no one else has to.”Like when I killed all the children during the Feast of Kulther andduringthe Massacre of Yanaho – so none of my soldiers would have to carry those faces in their dreams.By the time we reached those two places, the zombie fungi had already infected too many of them.We couldn’t take the risk of leaving any survivors for it to spread.
But will she understandthe blood on my hands?Or will she go back to seeing only the Demon of Raza?Ignoring the tightness in my stomach, Ikiss my wayupher wrist to her elbow.“Don’t scare me like that again,”I murmur.
Her lips work, but no soundcomesout.Cursing myself for stabbing the prick in front of her, I pull her into my arms.“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Isay.
She blinks.Then shakesher head.“I don’t get why you did it.”
Before Icanfind the impossible words to explain without hurting her, changing her,Jace appears beside me.
“What?”I snap as I turnto him, not bothering to mask my irritation.He gestures to a woman stepping through one of the servant doors at the side of the dais.
Fabiaisstridingtowards us, fury in her every step.
My jaw tightens as I rise.I knowexactly whatshe ishere for.Every citizen hasthe right to challenge another to a match insideafairy ring.
“No,” Isaybefore shecaneven open her mouth.I move towards her, loweringmy voice, making sure the pointgoeshome.“You will not speak about this now.”
As hotheaded as sheis, Fabiaisa recruit in my guard.To disobey a direct order from mewillget her discharged.Her fistsclenching, she clearly strugglesto keep whatever she wantsto say down.Her silver eyes flickerto Ariennaas my queen rises behind me.
Fabiaexhalessharply.Nodding, she turnson her heels andleavesthe room.
My shoulders tense, I headafter her.
“What was that?”Arienna asksas she scurries in my wake.
“Nothing.”The lieslidesoff so easily, but itsitsheavy in my chest.Idon’twant to hide anything from her, but she greeted Lief with a smile of purity.Shedoesn’tknow the monster he trulyis.
“Richard –”
Stopping suddenly, I pivot around and grab her by the waist.She yelpsas I lift her off the ground.Kissing her hard, I silence her questions.“Don’t ask me,” Isayagainst her lips.“I don’t want to lie to you.”
“Then don’t.”
Exhaling roughly, Ilean my forehead against hers.“It’s not my secret to tell.”
Herpale-pinkeyes search mine.A frown pullsat her lips that I want more than anything to soothe away.But telling herwon’tdo that.Norwillhiding this from her.
