My nerves pull tight.
Adrenaline burststhrough my veins.But if I’m to die, let it be by his hand.No one deserves to kill me more.
My hearthammering, I pick up the knife.
Heison me in an instant, his fists swinging, his feet kicking, his elbows knocking into my ribs and face and gut.Itakeeach one of his blows to heart, hearing her angelic voice in every thump of his fist.
“I have so many dreams for this place.”
His elbow snapsmy face to the side.A toothgoesflying.Bloodpoursdown my chin, staining me with the sins of my past.I try my best to block what I can, but Jace isn’t holding back this time, and the skill between us is vast.
I’m not trying to block him to stop the pain though.I just know he needs me to fight back, to let him hurt me without mercy.To force me to pay one of those lifetimes I owe him.
“I’ll turn the battlements into universities,”Aurelia says, “the arenas into stadiums for dances and plays and games.”
Swiping the blade betweenus, I open Jace’s side –a shallow cut.He grunts, twists, and kicksme straight in the chest.Iflyacross the room,then land hard on my wings.
Hissing, I scramble to my feet – and directly into Jace’s fist.
“Our soldiers will come home, and our borders will be open.We can’t go to war with them if they’re our friends, right?”
Her smile hauntsme as I stumble around, shaking my head, trying to focus on the man attacking me.My best friend.My greatest ally.
I raise an arm to block a blow to my side – andI takeonetothe underside of my chin.
“We’ll be at peace.Can you imagine that,Dickie?Us at peace.”
As she twirlsin my memories, laughing with pure joy, I hit thepaddedground.The world darkens, narrowing into pinpoints of fading consciousness –helped by Jace’s fiststomy face as he straddles me.
When I wake, Jaceiscrouchedbeside me, his head in his hands, tears sliding down his face.“I loved her.”
Blinking sluggishly, I sit up.His faceisbruised from the blows I managed to land.One eye swollen.His lip cut.But I know I look worse.I sure as helfeelworse.
“I know,” Isay, spitting out blood.
He looksoverat me, his eyes raw and full of torment.“Then why do it?Out of everything you could have asked, why that?”
I reach for his shoulder, gripping it hard like I should’vedone years ago.“Because she loved you.”
He flinches, reacting more to those words than hedidto the knife in his side.“What?”
“It wasn’t just an infatuation Au–” I clear my throat, her name too hard to say.“My sister loved you, Jace.She talked about asking you to marry her one day.”
He jumpsto his feet and startsto pace.Herunshis hands through hishair, tugging on the ends.His fingers flex at his sides, needing something to hit, to strangle,to kill.The energy pouring off himisdark and dangerous.
Stilling, Idon’tdare move.“She talked about the large family you would have – once you finally noticed her.”
“Notice her?”He spinson me,his voice as raw and as broken as they were that day.“I noticed everything about her!You were the one that told me to stay away…”
Iholdhis gaze, seeing my own pain and guilt reflected inhistealeyes.Out of all the things I’vedone in my life, all the monstrous things Arienna hasprobably heard of, what I asked Jace to do that day… what Ididthe evening after… thatwasthe worst.
“Until I didn’t,” Isay, finishing his thought.
Tears glisten in his eyes.Theyfalldown his cheeks and hit the wooden floor with thunderous splats in the silence pulled taut between us.
“Will you do this for me, Jace?For her?”
His muscles completely relax.The airthickenswithfury.Despite myself, my fingers graze the hilt of my daggerin fear.
