The scent of fresh lavender and old books was distinctly hers. He took a long breath as the reality of the night before settled over him, soft as the eiderdown enveloping them.
He turned his head on the pillow, finding Elspeth sleeping peacefully beside him. He could not help but return the faint smile she held, even though her eyes were closed, unable to see it.
She had the most naturally pink, pouty lips and a delicate nose, smattered with faint freckles. He watched her—for how long, he did not know—a strange warmth unfurling in his chest as he realized just how angelic her face was.
It was a feeling he had never known. He could not name it, but he felt it.
Completeness.
No sooner did that feeling come than a cold dread set in, making him shudder. He felt a tightening in his chest, an urge to run away.
This feeling, while new, was not entirely unfamiliar. This inexplicable fullness was unnervingly like how he had once felt about…
Mary.
Yes, the last time he had felt this, it had led to a vow.
How could he forget the promise he had made to himself, to never be so vulnerable again? Was he so starved for bodily pleasures that he had been blinded?
He could not let it happen. Not now. Not with Elspeth. He had to sever this fragile thread before it became a chain that could leave them bound forever.
He thought of Mary choosing his father over him, her reckless spending that almost brought ruin upon Arrowfell and its holdings. He had spent so long undoing the damage wrought by one woman, all facilitated by his father. The man he had looked up to, undone by a woman and her wiles.
Duty. Control. I must get out of here.
He slipped out of bed carefully, then tiptoed across the floor to gather the few items of clothing he had with him. He made himself presentable, knowing he must quickly sneak down the hall to his quarters.
While the sun had just risen, if he was quick enough, none of the servants would be the wiser as to where he had spent the night. Yes, they were discreet. He paid them well to be loyal, but he did not want to test their loyalty.
He paused for a moment at Elspeth’s bed, looking down at her perfect face. If he were an uncomplicated man, a different man…
Damn it!
He shook the thought out of his head and headed for the door, his heart pounding in his ears with each step. He turned the doorknob as quietly as he could and slipped into the empty hallway. He moved quickly and silently, a ghost in his own manor.
His room was at the end of the hall, just a short sprint away. He did not dare look back as he closed the distance. He twisted the handle, slid inside, and shut the door behind him with a soft click.
I made it. She is not compromised, and the servants are none the wiser. I can come back from this lapse in judgment.
He leaned his back against the door, the cool wood a welcome comfort. He was alone, and everything was as it should be. Perhaps he could just pretend that last night did not happen at all, to be the cold and calculating duke he had always been.
The familiar, empty ache had replaced the feeling of completeness. He had made his escape, but for the first time in his life, the freedom he found felt less like a victory and more like a punishment.
I must get this witch out of my home before the temptation becomes too great and I no longer have the strength to break her spell.
He made his way to the breakfast room, a knot of resolve tightening in his stomach.
Elspeth was already there, her face bright with a smile he could not bring himself to return, much as it pulled at him. He had to remain strong, to remember his vow.
If he did not have his vow, his fortitude, then who would he be?
She smiled brightly at him, her emerald-green eyes twinkling in the sunlight that streamed through the open windows.
He blinked his eyes, trying to see some imperfection in her that he could focus on. To his chagrin, he could not find one. Even the slightest upturn of her left eye versus her right made her look ethereal, unique, and beautiful.
Why does she have to look like this?
“Good mornin’, Hugo,” she greeted, her voice light as birdsong as she rose to her feet. “It is a most beautiful day, is it nae?”
