I should have stayed in the damn study, buried myself in the ledgers until dawn. But then I would only be a floor away from her, and the guests would surely have talked.
The house is not big enough for both of us. Not anymore. I am a coward, running away from some harmless nymph before thesun is even up. A duke afraid of a widow with a laugh that could shatter stone, and a will of iron.
He reached the front door and let himself out into the crisp, pre-dawn air. The city was just beginning to stir, the rhythmic sound of hooves on cobblestones as a lone carriage trundled down the street.
What would my father say? He would say I am making a fool of myself. Again.
He had no destination in mind, only the desperate need to put distance between them.
He walked on, the silent streets a temporary escape, but even there, in the quiet solitude of the early morning, he could not escape the haunting memory of her smile.
It was everywhere. When he closed his eyes. When he opened his eyes. In the pale light of the streetlamps that were being extinguished. The cool kiss of the air that somehow smelled like her. And, most of all, in the frantic beat of his heart.
What a bloody mess. And I have no one to blame but myself. Play with fire, and you will get burned.
“Oh, Verity,” Elspeth sobbed, the dam she had been holding back finally breaking. “I ruined everythin’, and I dinnae ken how.”
She had spent the morning after the charity event in a quiet, tearful haze. Her victory felt hollow, the praise she had earned so empty. She left Arrowfell House just after breakfast, and before she knew where her feet were taking her, she found herself at Verity’s door. She collapsed into her friend’s open arms the moment the door was closed.
Verity led her to a comfortable settee in the receiving room, wrapping her own shawl around Elspeth’s shoulders.
“Tell me everything,” she said gently. “How can you be so forlorn after a most perfect event? I know you were tired; that was plain when we ushered you up to your room, but that is to be expected. You are the talk of the ton!”
“It is hard to explain,” Elspeth whispered between sobs.
“I knew there was more to this. What is it?!”
“It is… it is…”
“It is him, is it not? I knew it,” Verity sighed. “What has happened? I noticed he was not by your side, nor did I see much of him last night. Why did you not tell me then?”
“I daenae ken where to begin. It is all so…”
“Complicated?”
“Aye.”
“I can understand complicated. Talk to me, Elspeth.”
“Just before the event, we shared a special night together. Everythin’ seemed to be fallin’ into place, much as I never saw it happenin’ with him. I felt so vulnerable with him, but safe. I cannae explain it.”
“Keep talking. I am listening, my dear.”
“But then the next mornin’, I had a most brutal breakfast,” Elspeth continued, accepting the handkerchief Verity offered her. “He told me if I cannae secure a match to me likin’, he will send me back to Inverhall, and with an allowance for the rest of me days.”
“Why does this sadden you? You do have feelings for him, don’t you? So strong that they cloud the most triumphant charity event.”
Elspeth confessed her feelings for Hugo, the raw, aching love that had blossomed despite her best efforts to contain it, to reject it.
Verity listened intently, saying nothing. When Elspeth finished, a silence hung in the air, broken only by her soft sniffles.
“He is an idiot if he cannot see what is right in front of him,” Verity huffed. “A complete and utter fool.”
Elspeth managed a weak, watery smile. “I ken. But then why does it still hurt so much? Why is he doin’ this? I ken he feels it too, but he is too stubborn, too proud.”
“He thinks he is protecting you by pushing you away,” Verity explained. “He does not see that he is only hurting you more. And himself.” She took Elspeth’s hand, her grip warm and reassuring. “You have not ruined anything.Hehas. And you are not a prize to be won or a widow to be discarded. You are Elspeth, and you are magnificent. He is the one missing out.”
“Thank ye, Verity,” Elspeth said with a small smile. “And I hate to be so forward, but do you have any of those lovely macarons?”
