“If I’m allowed to speak to him at all, after this.” We’ve been exchanging messages coded the way he and Caeror used to communicate, given that both Military and Governance are likely reading them in transit. The first came only a couple of days after the Aurora Columnae. Warning me that theNavisaluswas tied to Tertius Ciserius, and that Military may have been involved.
But even seemingly innocuous messages may no longer be allowed, now. I had to sneak away this morning to come here. There will be no hiding this visit, nor the fact that Ulciscor and I collaborated to make it happen.
Lanistia taps the stone wall with a fingertip. “You two are working together again, though?”
“For now.”
“He regretted what he did, you know. Making you run the Labyrinth. From the moment we left Suus, he knew he shouldn’t have put you in that position.”
I scoff. “He said that?”
“No, but I know him.”
“Even if you’re right, it doesn’t change that he did it.”
Lanistia dips her head. “And I am not defending it. But you have to realise—finding out what really happened to Caeror is what’s driven Ulciscor for the last seven years. He lost his brother, and he knew, heknew, it wasn’t suicide. But his family didn’t want to hear it, wanted to just move on from the shame. And everyone else? They turned his conviction into something sad. They turned it into ajoke, Vis.” She licks her lips. More earnest than I think I’ve ever seen her. “Ulciscor is a good man but Caten broke him, in that way. When it comes to his brother, people have only ever been obstacles. And if those two ever had one thing in common, it was how they treated obstacles.” A fond smile. Wistfulness in her voice. I think this is the first time she’s ever spoken of Caeror voluntarily.
I take my time in responding. I knew all of this, of course. Had gathered it from conversations both with Ulciscor and others, and it doesn’t change the anger I feel over what he did.
“That tells me why he did it,” I say eventually. “Not why he wouldn’t do it again.”
“Because he spent four months after Suus fretting over whether he was finally going to get his answers, or about to go through the same pain all overagain. As much as he wanted to think of you as a piece on the board, he never really could. He was so relieved when he heard you were alive. You remind him of Caeror more than he wants to admit.”
I nod slowly. “He told me that, once.” Hesitate. “Do I remind you …”
“No. Gods, no.” Lanistia makes a face as though she’s tasted something unpleasant.
I laugh. “Fair enough.”
There’s a quiet moment, the relief of us having said what we needed to say evident, even as we both know I shouldn’t linger. Then Lanistia pats her left arm. “Does it hurt?”
“Less each day.” A heartbeat when I consider leaving it at that. “Still feels like it’s there, sometimes, though. Especially when I wake up.”
“Give it time. It gets easier.”
“Thanks.” I mean it. For this, I put more stock in her counsel than anyone else’s.
“Have you thought about what you might be able to do, once you’re a Quintus?”
I pause. Not understanding the progression of the conversation for a second. My distaste for Will has meant that I’ve barely given it a thought; before the Iudicium I had no intention of wielding it, and since … since, there has been too much else to focus on.
“You should,” continues Lanistia, taking my silence as an answer. “Talk to Ulciscor about that, too. When I lost my eyes, he found some theories about how to increase efficiency when you’re replicating natural functions. It helped.”
“I will.” Suddenly it’s all I can do to keep from focusing on the possibilities, rather than the current situation. But I’ve lingered long enough; the guards will have passed on my presence here, and there’s less chance of trouble if I can be gone by the time Military arrives. “I hate to say it, but I think it’s time to find Relucia and get out of here.”
“I know. It’s fine. Careful around her, though, Vis,” Lanistia says quietly. “She’s sharper than she lets on.”
I nod again, though she can’t see it. “I’ll come back when I can.” Start to walk away.
“Vis.”
I pause. Wait.
“They’re going to put me in a Sapper, eventually.”
“I won’t let them.”
“They have to.Youhave to. Men died. Not to mention that the guards told me what’s going on out there. If Military don’t, it’s as good as saying they sent me to kill you.” A quaver in her voice I’ve not heard before, but she presses on. “This is not on you. Do what you can to find out what happened to me, get me out if you can. But don’t do anything rash, and don’t you let Ulciscor do it either. Promise me.”
