He straightened up and brushed his clothes absentmindedly. “I’m sorry, Eva. I should have told you,” he admitted quietly. Before I had a chance to respond, he stormed out of the ring.
Tears threatened to fall. I watched as Luka came out of hiding. Damien brushed past him, and I assumed Luka would follow him, but he walked up to me instead. I didn’t need a godsdamn lecture, which is what was about to happen. I’d sooner leave Luka on the floor.
“Why do you torture him? Why can’t you just let him go?” He demanded.
“It isn’t me that needs to let go, Luka. It’s him. He knows it, and he knows I can’t give him what he needs, nor what he wants. I wasn’t the one just professing my love,” I snapped back.
“You’re leading him on, and you know it, Eva.” He turned around to follow Damien, but I rushed up and grabbed his arm, jerking him around to face me.
“Don’t you dare say that to me. I have always made things abundantly clear where I stand about our relationship and if he pursued things… then that is onhim. That isnoton me,” I sneered. “It’s so easy for you to look in on things from the outside and to have an opinion, but you are so wrong about this, Luka. You’re blinded by your loyalty to him. I understand being concerned for a friend, but I draw the line at you attacking my morality,” I tell him. Just as it did before, the wind picked up dramatically. I felt the swell of my emotions culminating into something I couldn’t control.
He jerked his arm out of my hold and I let him go as he stormed away. There was a part of me that felt guilty for shouting at Luka, but the other part? She felt nothing at all. The only emotion tangible enough to name was anger for the way Luka spoke to me, and for what he said. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t catch a single breath as I fell to my knees and screamed to the sky. A bolt of lightning passed through the clouds, striking the ground around me.
Fuck, he was infuriating. They both were. And to insinuate that what I was doing was less than honorable? Fuck them both. I was forced to have things under control. To present a fake persona that told the world I had it all together, but I didn’t. I was crumbling under the weight of other people’s expectations of me. It was easy for someone like Luka to point fingers, but he didn’t understand what went through my mind. He didn’t try to understand my reasoning behind things. No, it was a blind loyalty to Damien that became a hindrance between us.
My head fell as I looked at the ground. The charred scars left behind from my anger. I couldn’t control the way my elements interpreted my moods. I was at the mercy of the gods in moments like this, hoping that whatever element reared its ugly head didn’t end up killing me in the process. I took a deep breath, counting down until I was calm enough to walk away and let it go. Things would go back to normal eventually, but I wondered how much damage would be done in the process.
* * *
Weeks had passedsince we found out The Horde was rising once again. Tensions were high amongst not only royal advisors but household staff. As predicted, once one of the many palace gossips had found out what the council meeting was regarding, word spread like wildfire. No matter how many times I’d been approached about the topic, I made time to talk and discuss their fears with them. They were valid. All of them. I was terrified by that possibility, just like everyone else.
To make matters worse… Damien and my relationship hadn’t recovered since our fight in the training ring. Not that this situation is anything new. We went over our so-called relationship at least once a decade. Feelings always ended up getting hurt on both sides. You’d think that we’d both be over it at this point. Whether we walk away from whatever this is between us and just remain friends or accept it for what it is. Either way, there had been no more late-night visits to my bedroom or flirtations in the hallway. The only communication we had was brief during our daily training, which we weren’t ever alone for. One time, he stopped by the breakfast nook in the kitchens while I was eating. He made eye contact before turning around and running out of the room. It shouldn’t have hurt my feelings as it did. At the heart of everything, I just wanted my friend back. Whatever that meant, whatever I had to do. Hell, I’d even make nice with Luka–warrior’s honor. He seemed as unfriendly as ever, but that was nothing new. The guy was just protecting his best friend, and it was understandable. It was just annoying he’s also laying the full weight of the blame on me.
My father ordered Orion to take a compact unit of troops into Angoria to gather more information about the blight plaguing their lands. The rest of us spent our time organizing aid to send over. Rations of fruit, meat, cheese, and bread were prepared, along with several local farmers offering their assistance with crop management. If it was true, if The Horde had cursed the land, there was little we could do. However, we needed to get their crop supply up and running so they could prepare for the future. Since Angoria was our closest ally, we wouldn’t dare turn our backs on them. Even if they hadn’t been, we wouldn’t make them suffer. My father instilled the importance of helping our neighbors from an early age, and gods knew they had been there for us when we had suffered the loss of my mother.
Most of my father’s time was spent confined to meetings, most of them regarding The Horde. For whatever reason, I wasn’t allowed into the council meetings when they occurred. When I’d raged how it was unfair, he simply reminded me I didn’t hold the crown yet. He remained in the seat of power and therefore made the rules.
Life as I knew it was changing, whether for good or bad, that much was still unclear. Often, these things didn’t distinguish themselves until they caught you off guard. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for life to show its hand just yet.
To raise morale around the kingdom, Erina talked my father into throwing a ball. I hated the idea, personally. But my sweet-hearted sister knew tensions were high here, as well as surrounding kingdoms. This would be a chance to gather around and hold diplomatic meetings, as well as let off steam.
Truth be told, I never really cared for balls. They seemed like a waste of effort and resources, but I’d be a damn fool to underestimate what they were capable of. Every single ball I’d ever attended was far too pretentious. Being forced to dance with every eligible bachelor that was in attendance didn’t make my disagreeable attitude diminish, either. Damien had always been my escort since we were kids. Even if only for the grand entrance that my father insisted upon when starting these events. The thought of facing this monstrosity without him was making me sick. I couldn’t do it, didn’t want to. Which meant that I had to fix things and fix them fast.
I’d set out originally to spend my day in the library. My fondness for adventure, and even a bit of romance, hadn’t been quenched in far too long. There simply hadn’t been time lately. Instead, though, I wandered around the palace corridors until I was standing at the door to Damien’s chambers. My body had drawn me here, knowing what I needed to do. Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I gently rapped my knuckles on the golden door and waited.Even if he told me to go away, I thought to myself,it would be better than nothing at all.
“One moment!” I heard his voice call from the other side. Fear of rejection took root as I fought the urge to turn and run.
The door flung open. The breath I’d been holding caught in my throat. He was standing before me with a towel flung over his broad, tanned shoulders. Bare chested. Glistening. Gorgeous. It would seem he’d just got out of the bathing room. My mouth watered at the mere sight of him. The oils he’d used drifted out of his room, and I’m guessing he’d only just pulled on pants before he opened the door. They were undone at the waist. Barely hanging onto his hips. His hair was damp and hung around his face, framing it in a way that almost reached his perfect blue eyes. All I could do was stare like a damn idiot.
“Eva? What is it?” Concern flashed immediately across his face; his brows furrowed.
“Noth…” I trailed off, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes. “I - I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, uh, interrupt you. I’ll come back later,” I said, turning to run away when I felt his hand close around my arm. He pulled me back around to face him. Being this close to him as his eyes drifted mercilessly down my body sent a shiver down my spine.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. Please, where are my manners?” A smirk played across his lips as he waved his arm. “Come in.” He dipped into a dramatic bow, to which I laughed and followed him into his room. The door closed softly behind me, and I turned back. He leaned back against the frame, his eyes taking me in yet again, as I sat on the bench near the foot of his bed. Fuck. I was nervous. Why was I nervous? This was Damien, for gods’ sake.
“What can I do for you, my Princess?” he asked, inclining his head in my direction.
“How have you been?” It was too much. Too fucking awkward, but it was the first thing that comes to my mind. I wanted to tell him I was sorry, that I wished I could give him what he wants, but I couldn’t. I was constantly reminded of that very important fact.
“How have I been?” he chuckled, and I felt my cheeks heat. “What kind of question is that? You’ve seen me every day. You know how I am.”
“I know. It was a stupid question. I’m just trying to make things less…” I started.
“Strange? Awkward?” He finished. I nodded my head in agreement. He could always do that; read my mind before I said whatever it was I was thinking.
“It’s only my pride that’s wounded right now. I’ll be fine,” he smiled at me, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. What was supposed to be a joke fell flat between us. Silence lingered for a beat. “But to be clear, I’m not accepting any apologies, so before you get any ideas…”
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. “I’m not the apologizing type.”
