It had been one week since I’d been taken. One week of avoiding everyone in Matthew’s employ and staying locked in my room. He had come by on multiple occasions to remind me I wasn’t confined here and could come and go as I pleased. The stubbornness inside said it was easier to think of myself as his prisoner rather than his guest. I didn’t want to enjoy myself, because then guilt crept up on me. Guilt I had no reason to feel if I was honest because I was the one that was taken. But I was guilty because while I sat here and was treated with nothing but respect, gods only knew what my family was going through. How could I sit here and enjoy my solitude if they were in agony?
True to his word, Matthew made sure new books were delivered to my room daily, all different categories and sizes. Even though I had told him I wanted them, I hadn’t touched them. Regardless, they kept stacking up. I stared at them, desperate to open one and lose myself in a daring adventure or tumultuous love affair, but I couldn’t.
Despite how well I was being taken care of, I wasn’t okay. Not mentally, at least. I was sleep-deprived, which caused the nightmares to rear their ugly head. A vicious cycle designed by the prison of my mind to weaken me further. It sent me down a further path of depression and…
Knock, knock, knock.
As I laid in bed and stared at the ceiling, I let my mind wander. Through the windows in my room, I could tell it was early morning. It wasn’t time for breakfast. My eyes closed, hoping whoever was knocking at the door would take the hint and go away. I wouldn’t be that lucky. We did this every day. He knocked, I ignored him. I’m not sure why Matthew tried to get me to open up to him. I didn’t know him, and I sure as fuck wasn’t looking to be his friend.
You’re lying, my inner voice whispered. I rolled my eyes.
What did she know?
Knock, knock, knock.
“I’m coming in,” Matthew’s powerful voice called out to me. Gods, I wanted to see his face. His perfect, beautiful, tanned face…
No! Stop it right now.
I turned away from the door and curled into a ball. If he would just leave me alone. I didn’t open the door, so obviously I was in no mood to entertain. I’d decided if he didn’t want to tell me why I was here, then I was going to make myself completely useless. He couldn’t force me to do a damn thing I didn’t want to do. I was far too stubborn for that.
Depending on who you ask, some would say it was either my best or worst trait.
I heard the door open and felt my heart quicken immediately.
Was it out of fear?
No, I wasn’t genuinely scared of him, but rather of what he expected from me. He wouldn’t hurt me. At least, I didn’t think he would. But what if what he wanted from me ended up causing more harm somehow? To me or to others? That stupid voice in my head wanted me to trust him, though.
The bed dipped slightly under his added weight, and I froze. I wanted to turn around and look at him. To see his face and memorize the lines…Gods, his body was so close to mine and heat was radiating off of him.
“Take a walk with me. You need fresh air.”
I rolled my eyes. “I have a balcony here and receive plenty of fresh air. Thank you, but I am none of your concern.”
Before I could react, he grabbed my arms and pulled me up to face him. I was convinced that my heart was going to beat out of my chest. The worst part was I knew he could hear it. I couldn’t help but wonder if I had the same effect onhimas he had onme. His face gave nothing away, though. If anything, he looked angry.
“Youaremy concern. You’re under my care and in my home, so your well-being is directly tied to me. I won’t allow your health to decline because you’ve made yourself a martyr,” he snarled. His eyes flashed with rage and his hands gripped my arms tightly. I pulled back instinctively, but his grip was solid, and all it did was royally piss me off.
“Why do you care what I do? What does it matter to you, huh?” The words were laced with venom as they spewed from my mouth. Our bodies had drifted toward each other with each word we let fly and that inner voice… She was far too happy.
He held steady, not letting me move an inch. My anger flared and flames threatened to dance along my skin. I’d burn him off if I had to. Maybe then he’d realize who he was fucking with.
“I don’t have to answer that question. It should be enough to know that I’ve given you everything and more to make sure that you remain comfortable!” I felt his hand flex, and I pulled my arm out of his grip, but my body remained where it was. If he thought I was going to flinch away like some scared child, then he was going to be mistaken. But to my surprise, he didn’t reach back to grab me again. Though, I watched his hands fist in the sheets beside me to gain some semblance of control back in the situation.
Good, I suddenly realized I wanted his anger. I needed him to let his guard down and tell me everything I wanted to know, like why I was here.
“That’s bullshit and you know it. You won’t tell me anything, so you’ll get nothing in return. I refuse to bow down to you. If I make myself a martyr, it’s because you won’t tell me what else I should be!” My breathing became ragged as I pushed forward. “You took me away from those that I love and aren’t giving me a reason, so I’ll be damned if I’m going to make this easy on you. I want answers and until you give them to me, I’ll sit my ass right here and waste away.” My chest was heaving, and I was actively fighting my body to breathe. His presence was suffocating.
I had wanted his anger, but my own was a surprise to me. It took ahold of my mind and dominated the tone of our conversation. He wanted me to fight? Well, I would. I would fight him, and I would win.
Without warning, he gripped my neck and pulled my mouth onto his with a passion I’ve never felt before. I wanted to hit him, but my body won over as I pushed to deepen the kiss. It was the answer to every question I had ever asked. The air I needed in my lungs. I felt his power reach out for mine, and I greeted it as if it was an old friend. The sudden surge was too much, and I gasped as he pulled away. At the same moment that his lips left mine, my hand came up to slap him across the face. We sat, staring at each other, panting. I felt the sting on my palm and the red mark that blossomed on his face. Truly, I didn’t know where that came from. It was just some sort of knee-jerk reaction.
He cleared his throat and ran his hands over his legs as if to keep them from grabbing me again. My body called for him in a way that I couldn’t describe. “Please take a walk with me.” His eyes glanced down slightly before meeting mine again. They were filled with honesty. Something raw and meaningful. They made me want to believe in him.
“Will you tell me what I want to know?” That’s the only way that I’ll agree to this. Otherwise, I would look like a fool if I gave in to his demands now, and I’d be damned before I let that happen.
He only nodded before he stood up and held out a hand for me to take. I stared at it and knew that if I accepted his hand, there would be a shift in our relationship and things would change. I didn’t know how to explain it, but I couldn’t explain a lot of the things that had happened recently. We were at the edge of a precipice and I could choose to fall with him or without him, and falling with him seemed like a lot more fun.
