“Look at me, please,” his voice was strained. His hand came up to touch my arm as I turned around to face him. The gentle way his fingers caressed my skin drove me mad. “Don’t cry. It’s okay.” He brushed away the tears from under my eyes, his thumb grazing over my cheeks slowly. “I’ve been staying nearby and when I heard about the attack… I just needed to know that you were okay.” His eyes were full of honesty, glowing like beautiful green emeralds in the night. My heart ached for him in this moment. I couldn’t think straight with him in front of me, his scent clouding my senses. I leaned my head onto his shoulder, his body stiffening underneath my touch, as if he wasn’t expecting it.
“Eva, I need to go now that I know that you’re safe. I just had to see you,” he said as he dragged his fingertips across my back. Voices coming from outside grew closer with every second that passed, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I didn’t want him to leave. And I didn’t want to go back to being a shell of myself - feeling like I somehow betrayed those that I love. That I was the reason of everyone’s catastrophe.
I didn’t want to be stared at and judged. I wanted to go where I felt safe and wanted.
I wanted to go with him.
My words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. “Matthew, take me with you. Please, I want to go.” I gripped his shirt tightly and extinguished the flames on my hand as he pressed my body closer to him. I was enveloped in everything that he was. My flames burned bright as I was wrapped in his darkness. This was where I wanted to be.
“You belong here, with your family, with… Damien,” he struggled to say his name. It was like a curse on the wind.
I contemplated the thought of leaving Damien again. Would he care if I was gone? Perhaps I would do everyone a favor if I slipped away. Maybe they would think that I perished in a fight. I couldn’t help but feel that no one would miss me. My father would be furious knowing that I failed to take Erina away and keep her safe, and she hated my guts, anyway. That much was clear after this morning. Damien couldn’t even look at me without a disgusted glint in his eye.
“No. I don’t. Not anymore.” I was firm in my decision. “If you don’t want me to go with you, fine. I won’t, but I’m not staying here. I don’t know where I’ll go, but I can’t be here anymore…” My hold on his shirt remained tight as I sobbed onto his shoulder. He didn’t say a word. He only stroked my back in soft circles, holding me close to him.
“I can’t stay here and feel so… so… unwanted. I feel like I’m suffocating. They look at me like something’s wrong with me.” I cried harder. “What if somethingiswrong with me?”
“Nothing is wrong with you, Eva,” he growled. His hands slid up to cup my face, pulling me up to look at him. “Do you hear me? Nothing.”
At that moment, the door busted open. Damien stood in the doorway, anger dripping off of him in waves.
“Get your fucking hands off of her.”
24
EVA
Ididn’t move. Neither did Matthew. We remain locked in our embrace, waiting in tense silence.
“You heard me,” Damien repeated slowly. “Get. Your. Hands. Off. Of. Her.” He enunciated each word as he stepped closer to us. Matthew moved to pull my body behind his and I let him, which only seemed to increase Damien’s anger. The events of the day were weighing heavily on me. I didn’t want to leave Matthew’s side. I didn’t want to be dragged away, kicking and screaming. And I can assure you, if Damien tried, he’d surely receive another fireball to the side from me.
“Ah, dear Damien. How wonderful of you to join us!” Matthew chuckled, sticking a hand in his pocket. “I’m afraid that you’re interrupting, though. So, if you wouldn’t mind,” his smile was dazzling as he gestured to the door that Damien had just busted through, “we would appreciate our privacy.”
Matthew kept me cowering behind him like an idiot as the rage burned bright from Damien’s eyes. I thought that I’d be used to the sight, seeing as we had done nothing but fight since I got back. Every time I looked at him, I didn’t see the man I loved staring back. It was like he was possessed. Matthew was more than capable of taking care of himself, but I had the overwhelming urge to protect him. I knew that if Damien got too close, I’d rip him from limb to limb if I needed to.
The cottage seemed to shrink around the two large men. Their presence completely dominated the tight space. I couldn’t imagine entire families living in something this small, piled on top of each other. The air was suffocating, and I was aware of how close my body was to Matthew’s, under Damien’s gaze. I took comfort in knowing that he wanted me right where I was. Even if I wanted to move, which I did not, he wouldn’t have let me.
“Get away from her!” Damien yelled. He shoved his hands through his hair and shook them out by his side. In the past month, I’d seen him lose his temper more than I ever had before. It felt like the exact reason I couldn’t be here. I didn’t recognize my best friend, my former lover, my one true confidant.
Did I do this to him?Is it all my fault?
Matthew twisted his head to the side to look behind at me. “Judging from her silence, and the fact that she hasn’t moved from my side,” he smirked, knowing perfectly well how much he was pissing Damien off. He dragged a hand down my arm. I shivered under his touch and Damien’s eyes snapped to mine. He watched us, watched the way I was practically leaning into Matthew’s body. “I’d say she is perfectly happy where she is.”
Silence hung in the air. I watched as Damien struggled to come up with some sort of explanation. He searched the room for gods only knew what, as if he could pluck an answer out of thin air.
“You’ve got her under some sort of spell. This isn’t her. This isn’t who she is! She would never turn her back onme, on her family,” he sneered. “I am going to fucking kill you! I will delight in your death. Smile as I look down on your broken body.”
This was probably where I should have said something. I attempted to move out from behind Matthew, but he used his arm to keep me behind him. I took a chance to glance at Damien. There was such a palpable anger that I’d never seen before burning in his eyes. His breathing was erratic. He was about to absolutely lose his shit.
“It is me,” I whispered. My voice was so soft that I didn’t know if either of them heard me, but Damien’s body went deathly still. “It is me, Damien. I think that’s what terrifies you more than anything. Maybe I’m not the girl that you think I am. Hell,Idon’t even think I’m the girl that everyone thinks I am, but I’m making the decision that’s best for me.” Maybe he would understand that. We were far too broken to be put back together.
He shook his head. “No. The Eva I know, the Eva that Ilove,” the way he uttered the word made me cringe, “she would never do this. I promise that I’ll make this right. I’ll fix whatever damage he’s done to you.”
“You called me a whore,” my voice was only slightly stronger than before. “If anyone broke me, it wasyou. I told you that you couldn’t keep me caged, but you pushed me, and you called me a whore.”
Matthew was vibrating with rage as Damien’s face went pale. “I didn’t mean it, Eva. You know I didn’t. I love you.” He took a step forward, but one look from Matthew stopped him in his tracks.
I shook my head. “You loved the idea of me, but you didn’t love me, who I am.” Matthew’s hand reached behind him to find mine and clasped it gently. He was my comfort in this utter shit storm. There was so much that I needed to say, things I needed to get off of my chest. I felt like I could finally do that with Matthew by my side if Damien would only listen but judging by the way he paced back and forth in front of us, I doubted that was going to happen.
