“Ah. Well, that’s because I told him to stay in the council room with my father while I came to collect you for the meeting. I believe he’s still nursing his wounded pride after you kicked him out, so try not to rile him up too much. He might end up spilling our dirty little secret.” He patted my hand, which felt unbelievably patronizing given our topic of conversation.
Secret. I despised that word. In fact, I would go as far as to say that it was the worst word that had ever been invented.
What we were doing wasn’t a secret, not really. Everyone knew that Damien and I were together. Sort of. At least, in the ways it mattered. The only thing we weren’t doing was planning a wedding. Which would never,everhappen. We just didn’t have that damn mating bond.
There were times he acted as if it was my choice it hadn’t occurred. That I was keeping our relationship in the dark, but I wasn’t. Hell, if he wanted me to, I’d shout it from the tops of the parapets. I loved him. Really… I did, but he was such aromanticand I was the exact opposite. I was a realist in every sense of the word.
When we were younger, he’d always insisted that he wouldn’t marry anyone without the bond. I had told him that was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard of. Mating bonds weren’t guaranteed to anyone, because evidently, there wasn’t a perfect match for everyone. I’d accepted that as a cold, hard fact. But Damien didn’t. He said that he didn’t want to feel the pain of a spouse finding their mate after marriage, nor did he want to inflict that pain on someone else. It was nothing more than a noble declaration, one that I admired.
It was altogether unrealistic to deny yourself happiness because of that, though. I was a firm believer that if you married someone who turned out to find their mate, or vice versa, then it couldn’t have been genuine love, anyway. Apparently… He disagreed.
Because of that, I’d never attempted to take things further than sex, nor did I want to. Marriage itself was trivial compared to finding your mate. The ceremonies that came along with them were just excuses to celebrate and party, more for show or affirmation than anything else.
I reached for the door to the council room but stopped and turned to face him. I wished what we had could be enough for him, but at the heart of it all, I knew the truth. Damien and I were fundamentally different, and we would never see eye to eye on some things. “You know I hate it when you refer to our encounters as a secret.”
His hand came up near my cheek, as if he wanted to caress it lightly, but he dropped it back down to his side. “And you know I hate when you call them encounters. It sounds so impersonal, and we arefarfrom that,” he opposed.
Fine. He had a point, but I didn’t know what else to call them. I had always been careful around him. Making sure that there was an obvious line drawn within our relationship, but he always pushed for more than I could give him. I’d accepted our fate, so why couldn’t he? The day would come when someone perfect for him would waltz into his life. Out of all the people I knew, Damien deserved a bond. It almost seemed like it would be torturous for him not to receive one.
Though, I didn’t hold high hopes for a mate of my own. I’d made peace with the fact my marriage would be a power move and not for love. My kingdom needed to come first before my desires and if I was lucky, perhaps the one I married would turn into a friend. I just needed to make sure that I wasn’t jumping into bed with a psychopath. That was my only request.
Before I could respond, the council doors opened. Both our fathers stood on the other side. Orion swept me up and captured me in a hug that knocked the breath out of my lungs. “My sweet Eva! Oh, how I’ve missed you. I hope Damien has been the gentleman I raised him to be while I was away?”
A question, or a tease. That bastard knew what to say to make me blush, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction today. “Orion, you flatter me - but we both know that you raised your son to be as much of a scoundrel as you are.” It was a true enough statement, even if it caused Damien to blanch.
Orion’s loud laugh filled the council room. “Aye, that I did, my lady. You know me too well.” He lowered his head, his voice so low that only I could hear him. “I can’t wait until our families are formally joined. Damien will get his head out of his ass one of these days.” He drew back and winked, and I resisted the temptation to roll my eyes. Orion was one of those that would never understand what he wished would never come to fruition.
“Oh Orion, your old age is evidently getting to you at this point. You seem to talk nonsense. Was the journey that rough for you?” A warning flashed in his eyes, although he wouldn’t give it away. “I’ll forgive you this once, but only because your sentiments made me laugh.” I patted his arm as I bolted past him and greeted my father in a warm hug.
“Darling, are you antagonizing our esteemed general?” The lights that danced in his eyes told me he enjoyed watching the interaction. Even if I feel like it left me feeling somewhat dizzy. I’d pay for my remark at a later date where it wouldn’t be so easy to get away with it. Orion couldn’t say a damn thing to me today, though. Not in the presence of so many others.
My father was a handsome man. Though his eyes were dark and weary from the trauma of his past. The years without my mother have taken a hefty toll on him. Fine lines marking his face and his dark hair,mydark hair, was sprinkled with gray. His beard stood out amongst his features because of the stark white coloring. We’d joked that because the gods had blessed him with such dark hair, the only way to balance it out was creating a beard of the purest white.
I ached for him. He was well-versed in hiding his emotions. He wouldn’t ever admit it, but I’d always felt if it wasn’t for me and my sister, as well as his duties to our kingdom, he would have followed our mother into the afterworld, whether by his own hand or his broken heart.
I took the seat to the right of his and pressed a hand to my heart. “Father, I would never,” I drawled. “How could you insinuate such a thing?” There was a knowing smirk that crossed his face, one that portrayed his amusement of the whole situation.
“You are so much like your mother. So full of love and life and… sass.” At the mere mention of my mother, a hint of sadness marked his eyes, but it was swiftly replaced with something similar to pride.
“Thank you, Father,” I whispered as I bowed my head. It was an honor whenever someone mentioned my likeness to my mother. Not in our appearance, but in our spirits. I only hoped that I made her proud as she watched over me from the afterlife. Sometimes I swore I could feel her presence linger in a particular spot. I ached to be near her in those moments, but I knew she was with me.
I didn’t bother looking around as the room filled with council members. The room itself was ostentatious. Purely a place for old men to sit in over-sized chairs and gossip about how to rule the world; it was ridiculous. A mammoth mahogany table graced the middle of the room with approximately twenty seats on each side, and a large throne-like chair at the head of the table signaled the designation of the reigning monarch. I didn’t think I would ever see all the chairs occupied at once. Orion had insisted upon them, however, in case we ever needed to liaise with other councils and hold a massive meeting. I can tell you that has never happened, not once, in our entire history.
Helia’s crest, a black raven engulfed in flames, was hung on banners of dark navy velvet at the back of the room. The silver thread embossing the material always glittered regardless of where the light hit it, as magic was imbued into the threading. It served as a subtle reminder to always shine when things seemed dark. After my mother’s murder, things had seemed especially dark indeed.
The remaining council members meandered in, clapping Orion on the shoulder, and welcoming him home. You’d have thought the man just saved the kingdom from the way he was drinking in all the praise. And for what? Doing his job? His duty? I locked eyes with the person who slid in behind the last council member and closed the door. My sister glided into the room with the grace of a goddess, and she looked the part at all times.
Erina was gorgeous, an ethereal type of beauty. I had no doubts she could lure someone into a false sense of security if she so desired. While she barely took part in combat training like I did, she kept her slender body in shape. Her golden blonde hair was framed away from her face and pinned back, the rest falling neatly down her back. While she looked frail, she could disarm an opponent with her quick wit; something I lacked. I was far too direct in my approach, and her effortless charm was enviable. We were the complete opposite in every aspect; if I was the darkness, then she was the light. Our only similarity was that we loved Helia vehemently and would protect our people regardless of the cost.
Her presence here caught me off guard. She never had a habit of straying into politics, let alone a council meeting. She was timid and shy, seldom voicing her opinion unless she deemed it important enough. She was a talented healer, though perhaps not a natural like Damien, but beyond normal abilities, to be sure. She took the seat to the left of my father, smiling at us both.
“Thank you for inviting me to the meeting, Father.” She bowed her head in his direction before looking around the room. “Beautiful morning, isn’t it?” I knew that tone. She was deflecting. Being here was overwhelming. She was out of her comfort zone to be sure, but perhaps she had taken it upon herself to understand more about the inner workings that kept Helia from crumbling. Regardless, Father had requested her presence, and I was in no place to question his motives.
My father stood up and held his hands in the air to silence the council members’ idle chatter. “Thank you all for coming on such short notice. I know that we all have very busy schedules to attend to, so we will try to make this as fast as possible…”A lie, I knew. The council meetings were never short or simple. “Lord Orion has just ridden in from Angoria, and since he was the one who called the meeting, I’ll let him take over from here. Orion…” he pointed in his direction. “The floor is yours.”
As my father took his seat, Orion stood and thanked him for the introduction. His disdain for the lack luster introduction was clear, even if only for a moment. The fact this man had been bred from a long history of warriors and generals was hard to comprehend at times. I wasn’t sure where the flair for the dramatic came in. Damien and I had spent many nights talking about the same, chuckling over his father’s unquenchable need to be one of the most important figures in a room. It was a hard thing to accomplish, at least when accompanied by the likes of my family.
He placed his hands on the long mahogany table and leaned over, peering at every member deliberately to enhance the tension in the room. It was so thick; it almost clouded my senses.
