Before I could say anything further, the sound of rustling sheets drew my attention, and I noticed Luka’s eyes snap shut. He’d always had a penchant for eavesdropping, but I had hoped he would’ve been sedated for the evening so I didn’t have to worry about explaining myself to him.
I stood up, walked over, and took a seat at the edge of his bed this time. As if he could no longer pretend, he cracked a single lid open before he realized he’d been caught and sighed.
“I’m glad to see some things haven’t changed. I’ve lost count of how many times I used to kick your ass for listening in on Eva and me,” I said, smiling and shaking my head.
His forehead crinkled as if he’d remembered things he hadn’t wanted to, but it served him right for listening to private conversations in the first place. “Don’t remind me,” he muttered, crossing his arms. “There are some things I will never be able to unhear.”
“Fair enough,” I said, chuckling softly. “How are you feeling?”
He blew out a breath and leaned deeper into his pillows. “I can hardly remember anything–especially after my attack—but given how my head is pounding, I’d assume I was hit pretty fucking hard.”
I dipped my chin, knowing all too well how head wounds lingered and the nausea that came with them. “You lost a fair amount of blood, too. But you didn’t miss much—just Lachlan’s demise.” I was enjoying this foray into normal territory once again, and couldn’t fight a grin.
“Oh? Is that all?” he asked, waving a hand dismissively. “I’ll try to be there the next time we are faced with a foe like him.”
Our conversation drifted into more serious matters as I divulged what he’d truly missed while he’d been unconscious. I wasn’t sure how much he already knew, but he never interrupted me to tell me otherwise. As I came to the end, I paused, hesitant to ask the question on the tip of my tongue.
“What is it?” Luka asked, eyeing me curiously.
“Do you ever believe we’ll be able to get back to where we used to be?” I asked, ducking his gaze. “I mean, within reason, of course. I know I have more amends to make than I could ever do in one lifetime. What I put you through, though… Gods, I am so fucking sorry. I didn’t understand the depravity of my own actions until I was released from Arabella’s hex. Since then, I’ve done nothing but go over every horrible thing I’ve done, and I don’t know if there is anything else I can do to atone.”
We sat in silence, my heart thundering in my chest with each second that passed. I’d been attempting to find a time to talk about this, but between his lack of visits and the short time I’d seen him when Renai had brought me in to play cards with them, there hadn’t been an opportunity. Perhaps I should have waited until he was fully healed and back on his feet, but I could no longer ignore the rising panic at the thought of him walking away from me completely.
Luka pursed his lips and sighed. “I think we will someday, but I’d be happy to work through our issues together. So much has changed–I’ve changed–and I think we both have some learning to do.”
Well, that went better than expected. “Of course,” I said, nodding quickly. “I don’t know if I deserve it, but I refuse to waste this opportunity you’ve given.”
For the next hour, we rehashed our greater adventures, carefully glossing over the bits that might have triggered painful memories. I was relieved by how quickly we settled into a comfortable sense of familiarity, because as I took my leave, my heart felt lighter than it had in months.
* * *
There wasa note slid under my door as I was buttoning my shirt the next morning, telling me the healers would be paying a visit to Renai and Luka’s room within the hour. In moments, I was hopping out of the room with only one boot on and attempting to pull the other on before anyone saw me.
While I was excited to see Luka again, I wasn’t averse to using him as an excuse in order to check on Renai. My heart leaped at the prospect of hearing her voice; even if she didn’t deign to speak with me at all, it would be enough to just be near her.
As I walked into the wing, I didn’t even stop to say hello to the healers as I swept past them in a hurry. Briar stood outside the door, a tray of pastries piled high. She raised her eyebrows, taking in my slightly ruffled appearance. “It took you long enough,” she muttered, leaving me baffled.
“You put the note underneath my door?” I questioned, shocked that the woman who couldn’t stand me was the sole reason I was here.
Briar turned to face me, her lips pursed in a tight line before she nodded. “Let me go in first. You can stay out here for a moment and then stroll up as if it was a mere coincidence.” She paused, wetting her lips. “I never hated you, deary. I simply hated how you and Eva were with one another. I knew there was someone better out there for both of you.” She gave a pointed look at the door, and I simply stared at her.
Without so much as another word, she slipped inside the door while I lingered against the wall, dumbstruck, and listened in on their conversation.
“Mornin’ deary,” Briar chirped. She must have set the tray down because the groan Luka let out told me she’d set down a pastry in front of him. “How’re we feeling this morning? Nausea? Headaches? Stiff or sore muscles?”
“A little bit of everything,” Luka said. “But it’s nothing I haven’t experienced before. Get me a few more of these treats, and I may be ready to run out into battle again by the evening.”
I couldn’t help but smile to myself as he attempted to sweet-talk Briar into giving up more pastries. I’d wondered if he’d reached out for one because there was a quick slapping sound and then a half-hearted protest from Luka that had Briar chuckling.
Silence descended, and I wondered if she’d mentioned I was listening in on their conversation, but then Luka’s soft words drew me back in. “How is Renai?” he murmured. “Do you think she’ll be okay?”
My breath caught in my throat as I strained to hear Briar’s reply.
“Some wounds are not so easily mended,” she said, pausing. “She’ll be okay eventually, though. She isn’t alone in her grief, and she’ll never be alone again.”
I took that as my cue to make my presence known. Pushing open the door, I gave the wall a quick knock. My eyes immediately drifted to where Renai slept soundly, before making my way to Luka’s side of the room.
“Good morning,” I said, swiping a chocolate scone from the pile. Luka groaned and slumped back into his pillows as I bit into it. “I didn’t mean to intrude, but I wanted to check in and see how everything was going in here.”
