“I’ll be alright,” he whispered, pulling me into a tight embrace. I allowed myself to fall into his warmth, savoring the feel of his body against mine. I didn’t understand these feelings, but I didn’t want to question them. Not yet anyway. “Are you going to invite me inside?” he asked, running his nose along my neck to my ear. “We can finish what we started earlier.”
It was the easiest decision I’d made all day. I turned my head and kissed him, before opening the door and stumbling through it, losing ourselves in each other’s arms.
* * *
I awoketo a cold and empty bed. A loud banging came from the other side of the door. “Renai! Renai, are you in there?” The pleading continued, accompanied by frantic knocking.
I rubbed at my eyes, unsure of how much time had passed. It seemed like only moments ago I had laid my head on Kalen’s chest and fallen asleep to his rhythmic breathing. It was strange to fall asleep next to someone, even more so that it was him. Sleeping together was on the list of things we shied away from. Over the years, it had only happened a handful of times, but that changed after Erina died. After Arabella came back from the dead.
But something had changed. At least for me. Even I could not deny the peace I felt having him by my side. And I knew today had taken a toll on Kalen as well, even if he would never admit it. Though he was relieved to see Eva and Matthew this morning, their pain had been written across their faces. Neither hid it well, their trauma stemming from different places. Kalen had stayed by the future queen’s side all day, letting her know she wasn’t alone. Grief could be shared. To her credit, she’d held her head high, letting nothing other than love for her sister show. But when she’d stepped up to light the pyre, she’d hesitated to set Erina’s body aflame. I’d never had to endure anything of the sort, but Kalen had. It still haunted him to this day.
It was why, when the pyre was lit, I made no comment as a tear slid down his cheek.
“Renai! Open this godsdamned door!”
I pushed out of bed, glancing at the Kalen-sized imprint next to me. He had been here when I’d fallen asleep, and I hadn’t heard a noise since then. My bathing chamber was dark, so he wasn’t in there either. I couldn’t fight the disappointment that washed over me.
Slipping into my robe, I opened the door and found Matthew standing there. He was disheveled, running his hands through his hair. He pushed past me and began pacing the room like a madman. His eyes were wide, full of panic. “Is Eva with you? Do you know where Luka or Kalen are?” He scanned the room as if he expected to see them sitting in front of him.
“What?” I croaked. “No, they aren’t—”
He interrupted me before I could finish. “I cannot find her. There was a misunderstanding between us. I was a fool, I can't do anything right.” He ran his hands through his hair. “Fuck. I thought we were okay, that she was okay, but I must have said something. She ran out of our rooms before I could talk to her. I roused the guards, but they can’t find her. I went to Kalen’s rooms, but he isn’t there. I assumed he would have been with you. I can’t find Luka, either.” He paused, looking at me with red-rimmed eyes. “I cannot find her, and she is not answering through our bond. It’s as if she has cut me off and silenced me.”
My mind was spinning faster than I could process the information he’d just spit out. I walked over to the fire, adding some wood to the flames. They quickly caught light, illuminating the small sitting space. “I need you take a deep breath for me and—”
“I cannot breathe if she is missing!” he roared. “I cannot waste time by resting when she is not by my side because I have this pulsating fear she will be taken from me again.” Matthew marched up to me until he stared down at me. “So do not tell me to relax and to take abreath.”
I pushed him away, taking a step toward the bar on the far wall. The moon was still high in the sky, but I poured the two of us a drink anyway. We seemed to need it. “Luka wandered away at the tavern. I haven’t seen him since then. He may still be out. As for Kalen, I don’t know where he has gone. He fell asleep here. Are you sure he isn’t in his rooms?” I asked, hoping and praying Matthew just hadn’t looked properly. Surely he wouldn’t have been so stupid as to go after those men we saw earlier. My heart sped up, anxiety washing over me. I didn’t like this. I didn’t like this at all.
“And Eva?” Matthew questioned, grabbing the glass I filled and held out for him.
I shook my head. “The last time I saw her was before we left for the tavern. She knows the palace better than anyone, except for perhaps Luka. There’s no telling where she might be hiding. Are you sure no one has seen her?”
He shot me an incredulous look, one that clearly conveyed how stupid he thought me in the moment. “If they had, do you think I would be here talking to you instead of making my way to her?”
I let the remark roll off of me. Striding to the armoire, I picked out a pair of leggings and an oversized sweater to slip into. Matthew turned away for my privacy, gripping the crystal glass so tightly I thought I heard it crack.
“I have no idea where Kalen and Luka are,” I said, slipping out of my robe and pulling on the clothes I’d selected. I tried to keep my breathing calm and even, not letting Matthew catch on to the way my thundering heart pounded away or the tremble of my hands. I had a bad feeling about this, about all of it. Had Kalen not been missing, perhaps I could’ve had a better hold on the way I felt. Seeing those men out there this evening, I knew something bad would come of it.
I turned around and crossed my arms. “There was something that happened earlier, something I thought we’d taken care of, but maybe not.”
Matthew turned slowly, a deadly look upon his face. The glass shattered in his hand. I’d rarely seen this lethal side to him, but there was little left of the man I knew. Shadows leaked from his fingers, skating along the floor around him. His eyes darkened, shadowed embers promising a torturous end if Eva had been harmed.
“When Kalen and I walked back from the pub, we were trailed by three men. There was something… wrong about them, Matthew. We got back and told the sentries, who ensured the perimeter was locked down.”
“Where did they go?” he asked, voice low.
I shook my head. “I don’t know. As we crossed the threshold and looked back, they were gone.”
He began to pace back and forth in front of the fire, shadows rising around him like a chaotic orb of power. It would have been a beautiful demonstration of his power if it weren’t for the situation. Though, there was a single thought at the back of my mind that told me I knew where I could find Eva, I knew Matthew wouldn’t like it.
“You should alert the king,” I said. My feet were light as I approached the predator in front of me. Even if I would not use it against him, my hand went to the dagger I’d strapped to my thigh. His eyes tracked the movement, and they softened ever so slightly. “If Lachlan truly sent men to spy or infiltrate the palace, Alric deserves to know and we will need a larger guard presence. I think I know where she might have gone. It’s likely I’m wrong, but it’s worth a try.”
He lowered his gaze to the flames, taking in the way they danced within the fireplace and cast shadows along the wall. “Helia will riot if she is not found by morning. I will—” he paused, fist clenching at his side.“We will keep it quiet until dawn, tell only who we must in order to find her. I will alert the king and let him figure out the best way to search for her. I trust you to keep me updated with whatever you may learn, and I’ll see what I can find out about Kalen and Luka as well.” He cut me a glance. “You say he fell asleep here?”
My cheeks reddened, though I didn’t know why. My interactions with Kalen weren’t a secret. Especially not with Matthew. He’d been between the two of us for a century, well aware of our dealings. But it was the way he watched me with keen eyes that caused my blood to heat. “Yes. After we alerted the guards, we came here, and he fell asleep in my bed. When I woke up, he was gone, and my bed was cold.”
Matthew studied me, thinking quietly to himself. “I’ll see what I can find out.” He turned to the door, stopping and turning over his shoulder. He patted the doorframe three times, biding his time to find the courage to say whatever it was on his mind. “Be careful with that, Ren.”
