She shook her head, collapsing in my arms. I hardly caught her before she fell, going to the floor with her. “I can’t, Matthew… I can’t differentiate between the two. I can’t get the image of him plunging that dagger into her heart out of my head, how she looked at me… I was fucking helpless. It was like watching my mother die all over again.” Her body shook, sobs working their way through her. “My sister is dead, and I can’t… I can’tbreathe. It feels like I can never get enough air into my lungs to live. And I failed her, Matthew. I couldn’t keep her safe. I couldn’t keep my mother safe. How am I supposed to rule over my people and keepthemsafe?”
I pulled back, cupping her face with both hands to study her face. My poor, beautiful girl had suffered so much, with only a few days of bliss before our lives went to shit once more. A soft glow emanated under her skin like pulsing veins of power. “I want you to listen to me, darling. You were forced into unimaginable circumstances, and Lachlan used that to his advantage. No one would ever have thought Damien would’ve been able to kill Erina, nor would you assume she would be a target for their treachery. You’ve done everything possible to keep those you love safe, Eva.Everything. Do you understand me?”
She shook her head, but I tightened my grip, keeping her face turned towards mine. Her eyes closed as she struggled to control her breathing. “Look at me, Eva.” She worked against me once more before I dropped my hands to her shoulders, shaking her. “Fuck, Eva. Look at me.”
Her eyes shot open wide, bright golden embers staring back at me. The hazel I’d known and loved was gone, not a trace to be seen. They let off a shimmering light, a dangerous glow that drew me in like a moth to a flame. She gasped, the strain of holding back her powers evident. If she needed a release, then I’d give her an outlet to do just that.
Cursing, I scooped her in my arms. A strangled gasp left her lips, her head falling back and hands curling into fists as she clenched them tightly. I rushed out the door, my legs moving of their own accord as I brought her to the edge of the cliffs where we’d landed days ago. The remnants of her last explosion charred the ground beneath our feet, the black vegetation falling to ash as I slid to my knees and ignored the bite of pain lancing my skin. The wind whipped around us, a howling storm causing the waves to sing below us. Birds scattered, the air changing as the sea roared. Nature seemed to sense the rising change in the air, a static that was not present before and it paused, waiting to see what would come of it.
She clenched her eyes shut, cursing as sparks flew from her skin. “I can’t stop it,” she breathed. “I can’t–”
I took her head in my hands, forcing her to look at me. “Let it out, Eva.”
“I don’t know how,” she said, those burning eyes setting their gaze on me. A chill skated across my skin, small pebbles rising in its wake at the power before me. Power that demanded to be felt, to be bowed to.
Crouching down, I stared into her eyes. “Let. It. Out.”
A gust of air tightened around my stomach like a rope, jerking me out of the way and tossing me on my ass before Eva leaned her head back and screamed. The sound decimated me, one of pure anguish and loss and pain. It was a thousand knives plunging into my heart, and it took everything I had not to lunge for her. A whirlwind of fire and air unfurled from her body, tendrils of red and yellow colliding with an invisible wall. The heat burst forth hotter than ever, caressing my face as my shadows formed a translucent wall between my body and hers.
There was nothing I could do but watch. The flames and wind twisted and turned in tight coils until they broke through her shield, pushing through cloud cover above and shattering the serenity of the sky with their focused power. Up and up they went until they ascended so high I could no longer see them. Eva’s body glowed, creating a spiderweb of light across her features. Energy crackled in the air as a bolt of lightning struck out over the sea. Her power demanded to be heard, to be seen. There was not a force on this earth that could have stopped her.
The picture painted before me was heart wrenching—a goddess of war amidst the wreckage of her life. Through the glimmer of the shield, I saw the tears that rolled down her cheeks, the sobs that wracked her chest and made it impossible for her to breathe. I was utterly useless. There was no way to make this better, nothing I could do other than to show her I would be by her side no matter what came our way.
Agony and anguish poured forth from her with each shuddering cry, and I felt a pulsing need from our mating bond. Deep inside my chest it commanded me—go to her, help her.Even if I could cross the line and make it to her side, she needed to do this on her own. She would not forgive me if I interfered.
Time passed, though it ceased to mean anything as I watched Eva burn through everything she had. The swirls of fire extinguished, dying down as embers drifted to the ground around her. She met my gaze—those eyes I loved so much returning to their soft hazel hue before they rolled back and she collapsed. Her breathing was labored, coming in quick gasps as I rushed to her side and ran my hand along her bare skin.
She shuddered at the contact, but leaned into me as I wrapped my arms around her and got to my feet. Ashes clung to her body. Her skin was clammy, a deathlike pallor washing over her. “I’ve got you, Eva,” I whispered as I tucked her head underneath my chin. My heart thundered in my chest as I held onto her as if she would slip from my grasp. “I’ve got you.”
* * *
I stood in the doorway,letting the humid air wash over me as I stared at the sea below. The waves still crashed into the rocky cliffs, small shards of stone breaking off and falling into the rough waters. A soft drizzle fell, and I let it coat my skin just to feel something other than the fear inside of my mind.
Eva slept across the room. The small double bed was pushed into the corner, pillows and blankets piled high around her. After I had gotten her back to the cottage, I’d taken my time running a damp cloth over her skin and cleaning away the ashes from earlier. She hadn’t stirred once, not even as I put her in my own tunic and tucked her into bed.
I could not sleep, could not lay beside her, knowing there was little I could do to help. The threat of my father was ever present in my mind. He was no longer hidden safely behind Helia’s walls. I feared The Horde could somehow track us with all the power Eva had expelled. Though, I quickly dismissed the idea, knowing if it was possible he would have already brought an army to our doorstep. Still, it was unwise to linger here longer than we had to.
We needed to get back to Helia, and soon.
It was not only a safety concern, either. If Eva missed the lighting of her sister’s pyre, she would never forgive herself. The guilt would eat her alive, and I did not want to add to her list of growing misery. I prayed that they had held off on Erina’s ceremony somehow. It was my duty as her mate to ensure she was taken care of, but I felt out of my depth with this matter.
And I could not fathom the loss her father was experiencing. Losing one daughter and having the other disappear? He had to be losing his mind. I realized I should have reached out somehow. Perhaps I could have sent Branwen once I knew we were safe on the cliffs, but the risk was too great. She could be traced back to me—to us. My father knew about my familiar. He would surely have told his spies about her. It was a chance I was not willing to take, though I was quickly running out of options.
Time was a luxury we could not afford.
I looked back, noting the way the flicker of candlelight danced across her face, highlighting her cheekbones and full lips. Her hair was mussed from sleep, falling out of the braid I’d attempted before I’d laid her down. It killed me to distance myself from her. I longed to spend our days laughing and kissing, making up for the time we had lost.
Eva sighed, the sound drawing my attention. I turned, leaning my body against the doorframe as she rolled over to face me, eyes fluttering open softly. She lingered, her hand stretching out beside her. The bond between us buzzed, knowing she was looking for me, whether or not it was intentional. Her body shot up; that wary gaze glancing around the cottage before it finally settled upon my frame in the entryway. My shadows had descended while I was lost in thought, obscuring most of my body. As if they could sense her anxiety, they dissipated slowly.
Her gaze traveled along my body, not in a heated glance but from one seeking comfort. She swallowed, throat bobbing as if unsure of what to say. I was lost, myself. I wanted so badly to go to her side, to take her in my arms and whisper promises of better times in her ear. I could not promise such a thing at this moment. My words would be empty, lacking substance if I tried, and she deserved better than that.
The longer we stared, the greater the tension grew. Both of us hesitated, unsure of what to do or say. Her brows furrowed, a soft pout crossing her face as she studied me, looking down at the change of clothes in confusion. I had to fight my reaction to go to her, clenching my hands into fists.
“You’re not in bed,” she said softly, pulling the blankets close to her body. There was vulnerability laced behind her words, an awkwardness wedged between us that I did not care for. It was not who we were. Hell, we were meant to defy all odds, but lately it seemed as if the odds were against us instead.
I nodded my head, attempting a smile that felt odd against my lips. “I couldn’t sleep.”
She paused, fumbling with the corner of a blanket as she spoke. “You have not been able to sleep much, have you?”
