“Of course, she will! She loves you, Rion. Don’t doubt that. I watched it happen and consider myself privileged to witness the birth of something so profound.”
I strode past him into the manor, unable to talk any more about the matter. The more I did, the more I convinced myself I was not worth forgiving. It forced me to face my faults, and I did not like what I saw.
“Hey! Wait! You can’t drop something like that on me and then walk away!” He said, running to catch up with me.
Like a dog with a bone, I swear. The only way to stop him from harassing me about the matter was to give him something else to focus on. “Ballard, Castor, and Calia will arrive at midnight to discuss matters regarding Leonora. I assume they have vital information we need to track her down.”
“They are cominghere?” he echoed. “Why are they coming here? And why is Ballard working with Castor?”
“I assume in an effort to showcase good faith. I did not ask anything more than necessary,” I said, walking toward my bathroom.
He leaned against the doorframe as I removed my clothes and stepped into the shower. We had seen each other in far worse and more compromising positions than this. It wasfruitless to ask him to leave, especially when I knew he would do no such thing. “Did you ask any questions at all?” he mumbled.
I had, but none that pertained to this meeting. Frankly, I did not give two shits about what Jasper had asked. Not when Calia was the sole focus of my thoughts, the object of my fixation. Thinking about anything else would have proven useless. “I apologize. I was too preoccupied with finding out mydead wifewasaliveto ask the proper questions,” I shot back, leaning to peer at him from behind the fogged glass.
To his credit, he winced. “Right. That makes sense. So, tell me what happened.”
I braced my hands along the tiled wall, letting the scalding water rain down on me.Could I rehash everything? Did I have a choice?
No, I did not.
It did not matter that thinking about Calia’s harsh words and rage-filled gaze felt like dragging a serrated blade through my stomach. Jasper needed to understand the dynamic and what had happened in order to be prepared. There had been enough secrets, enough things I should have said. If I had learned anything from what happened between Calia and me, it was that those I love deserve my honesty—even if it causes me pain.
So, I spent the next five minutes reliving every detail—from Castor confronting me in the Market to overhearing his conversation with Ballard. I stumbled over my interaction with Calia, trying and failing to keep the sorrow out of my voice as I spoke.
As I finished, stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around my waist, I was thankful for the water droplets that hid the lone tear that had fallen. Jasper said nothing, undoubtedly analyzing every morsel of information I had given him. I was thankful he had not pushed me for more because I was not sure if there was any more I could give him.
Jasper walked toward the doorway, pausing in a silent acknowledgment of my pain. “I’m going to let the girls know about our impending visitors. I’m sure they’ll both want to be present,” Jasper said, excusing himself as I went to my closet.
Silently, I stared at the colors of my clothing—or lack thereof. They reminded me of what my life had been like before Calia stormed into it: lifeless, unchanging, and monotonous. I traced my finger along the bright pink hair tie that had found its permanent home on my wrist.
Unbeknownst to me, Calia was the infusion of color that I had been missing. I had not minded the path I walked, thinking it to be my only option. I believed what my mother had always told me—that I had one job, one purpose: to serve my family no matter the cost. She said there was no room for anything else, especially things she deemed frivolous, such as relationships.
Now that I had experienced what I had been denied for so long, the thought of letting it go scared the shit out of me. I could not make Calia love me again—not after what I had done, what I had kept from her.
So, I was destined to lose it anyway.
I glanced down at the band, my stomach twisting at the tiny flecks of Castor’s blood marring the surface. “No, no, no,” I said quietly, rushing to the sink in my bathroom and grabbing my soap.
This was all I had left. The only piece of her I knew I could keep, and it had been tainted by my selfish acts of violence.
I scrubbed endlessly, lathering the hair tie with soap and praying for the best. Yet, the stains did not come out, no matter how hard I tried. “Come on, you stupid fucker,” I gritted out. My frustration built with each passing second, refusing to abate even for a moment. And how could it? Not when this seemingly insignificant object was so precious to me.
“It’s rude to?—”
I turned abruptly, seeing Calia standing in my doorway, gawking at me. Her hair seemed straighter than I remembered, falling over her shoulder in a crimson sheet. Her chest rose and fell, pupils dilating as her gaze shifted down my body. A body, I realized, which was only donning a towel.
“I—I’m sorry,” she stammered, still standing in the doorway. “I’ll just—“ She went to turn but halted as she looked at what I was holding. “What is that?” she asked, pointing at my hand.
I closed my eyes, embarrassed that she had found me like this. “Nothing,” I said, hiding the hair tie behind my back in hopes she would leave.
Of course, my ever-curious wife was not satisfied by that answer.
Calia stood firm, crossing her arms in defiance. “You seemed awfully upset when I walked in. So, what are you trying to hide from me?” She quirked a brow when I did not respond. “Yet another secret, I see. It seems you haven’t learned anything from our time apart.”
“Wait!” I called out, earning her attention once more. “When I say it is nothing, I only meant that you will likely think I am foolish for holding it in such esteem.” I produced the pink hair tie, still lathered in soap, on my palm and held it out to her. “I found this a few days after,well, after that night. I was standing in my closet, attempting to figure out how to face the day, when I noticed this on the floor. It smelled like you.”
“And why were you scrubbing it like a madman? Are you trying to get rid of my scent? I can just take it back, you know, if it pains you that much.”
