“What’s wrong with you, Josie?” I muttered to myself, welcoming the fresh air. A sweet summer breeze blew my hair from my face, tickling the back of my neck.
“Only one thing, far as I can tell.” I turned over my shoulder, watching Lincoln leave the barn. He still wore his dirty shirt and jeans from earlier.
“Huh?”
He stepped up beside me, staring at the spot Ellis’ car had just been. “You asked what was wrong with you, and I said there was only one thing.”
“And what would that be?” I asked.
Lincoln didn’t answer immediately, letting my question hang between us. “You’re not mine.”
I closed my eyes, tightening my arms around my middle as though it could stop my heart from beating out of my chest. “You can’t say shit like that, Lincoln. It isn’t right. I have?—”
He shook his head. “You don’t love him, and you know it,Josie. Hell, do you even like the guy? I’ve seen more chemistry between Bishop and a bottle of beer.”
“That’s because Bishop and Coors Banquet are a love story for the ages,” I muttered. “They’re inseparable. Like this.” I crossed my middle and pointer fingers like Lincoln had earlier when he’d met Ellis for the first time.
“Fair enough,” Lincoln laughed, kicking a rock beneath his boot. He turned to me, gently unwrapping and holding my hands in his. This time, it felt right. I don’t have the urge to pull away or cower and hide. “Tell me something, darlin’... does being with him feel like being with me? I mean, am I completely off the mark here?”
“I—I don’t know. It’s different.”
I bit my lip, peering up at him through my lashes. I expected to be met with frustration, but his face remained unchanged. His eyes had softened, settling the hint of anxiety that threatened to crop up at his questions. “A good different?”
WhywasI with Ellis? I was exhausted from trying to convince myself every day that we had anything real. Our relationship felt more disappointing, driven only by my belief that I had to be with him to make my family happy. When I stopped to think about it, the notion was stupid. My dad didn’t care, nor did he even really like Ellis. I think he’d rather see me alone than by his side.
So, what was stopping me from walking away from him?
The truth was…nothing. Nothing was holding me back, nothing I even wanted to hold on to. We had no wonderful memories together. No vacation trips or anniversaries that made me think twice about what I’d be giving up. He was a nice guy, and he cared about me.
The most I could offer was a simple nod in response to his question. Because, yes, Lincoln was different in every way that mattered. He lit a fire in my soul, which I didn’t know had goneout. That was what terrified me the most. What would happen when he left at the end of the summer, and could I live with it?
Like earlier, he cupped one hand to my cheek tenderly. I let myself lean into his warmth. “I’m okay with waiting right now. I’ve done enough of it by now. Just promise me something?”
“What’s that?”
Lincoln pursed his lips, rolling them together. “Just don’t leave me waiting out in the cold too long, yeah? Be fair to my heart in the way I’m trying my damnedest to be to yours.”
And then he leaned in, kissing my forehead before leaving me alone with my thoughts.
lincoln
. . .
The first clinicof the summer was done, and I was bone weary. Didn’t help that I couldn’t get my boss’s daughter out of my fucking mind, either.
Ever since I walked away from Josie on Sunday, it seemed like she spent the next week avoiding me at all costs. As much as I hated it, maybe it was for the best. I’d already chosen her, would choose her every damn day if she let me, but she had to choose me too.
Still, I worried maybe I’d taken it too far. I might’ve gotten carried away with my touches, spurred on by her body’s natural reaction to my proximity.
If I was a better man, maybe I would’ve walked away and nursed what was left of my pride. Maybe I could’ve been better about giving her space from the beginning, but dammit… I wasn’t a better man. Josie lit up any room she walked into. I couldn’t have stayed away if I’d tried—and I had tried.
I’d tried for one long fucking year to leave what we had in the past. Most would probably think being hung up on a woman you only spent five nights with was insane. Hell, maybe I was.
When I’d shown up to the ranch and found out she had a boyfriend, I would’ve been fine conceding if I’d known she was happy with him. It’d only taken one look, though… One look and I knew I hadn’t been making shit up in my head, and she was mine.
“You’ve done one hell of a good job these past two weeks, Lincoln.”
I looked up from my work, noticing Doug leaning against the barn door. Sweat beaded along my neck, dripping down my back in the sweltering heat. I saw a lot of him in Josie now that I knew where to look. They had the same straight nose and storm colored eyes. Though it was now littered with streaks of grey, I was willing to bet that his hair once matched hers.
