“Why?” I asked through gritted teeth. “We had agreed to one night of meaningless sex. One. Night. No more, no less.”
“And what about the night of your Dad’s birthday, huh? What was that about? Spare me the bullshit about it being just one time.” He looked away, and I was grateful for the reprieve. My heart was beating so hard that I almost wondered if he could see it, if he could tell how far he had thrown me off whatever course I’d set out on.
“Call it a moment of weakness! I don’t know, Bishop, and I certainly don’t care.” I was on a roll today with my lies. First Cleo, and now Bishop. I cared about whatever this was more than I cared to admit. I could blame it on my pride if I wanted to, but it was more than that. It was some soul-deep thing I didn’t want to acknowledge, an unrequited crush from years ago.
As he ground his teeth together, a muscle flexed along Bishop’s chiseled jaw. I already hated myself for what I was about to say, but I said it anyway. Maybe it would kill whatever hope I was holding onto.
“I know working alongside me is apparently a real hardship?—”
Bishop rolled his neck. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
“I don’t, though. You’ve given me no reason to believe otherwise, have you? I’ve tried to talk to you every day, to figure out how to work through whatever this is, but you’ve been gone before the sun even comes up. This is stupid, Bishop.”
He stared down at me, eyes burning with something I didn’t quite understand. “This job is the only thing I have, and I can’t risk losing it. If that means I have to stay away from you to keep it safe, then so be it.”
I ignored the flash of fear in his eyes. “Well, I hate to tell you this but you’re gonna have to cowboy it the fuck up and do what’s best for the ranch webothlove.”
“Lennox…” He lifted his hand, looking like he was going to reach for me, but then he stopped as I shook my head and turned Strider around.
“Dad’s coming home today,” I called over my shoulder. “For his sake, don’t be fucking late for dinner.”
And then I ran.
bishop
. . .
I walkedthrough the door of the Hayes household five minutes before seven, hoping it might earn me some brownie points if I was early to dinner. I would’ve been here sooner, but I was too busy overthinking and wearing a hole in the carpet of my living room as I paced back and forth.
The interaction with Lennox earlier had taken up space permanently in my brain. Guilt had gnawed at my conscience since I watched her ride away. I forced myself to watch until she was nothing more than a little dot in the distance, leaving Titan and me standing in my yard wondering what the fuck had just happened.
The prospect of seeing her tonight had me reaching for my phone a thousand times, ready to tell Doug and Ruby how sorry I was that I couldn’t come to dinner because I was a coward. Lennox’s disappointment was heavy. It weighed on my shoulders and twisted my stomach into knots. I didn’t realize how much her anger would eat me up.
This was different than the other times we’d bickered because there was true hurt behind both of our words. We both ached for something we couldn’t have, but I was terrified to riskwhat I already had. This job was a sure thing, and before I complicated things with Lennox, I hadn’t ever had to worry about it before. She didn’t understand that, and I didn’t hold it against her. I was grateful she’d never had to make the choice.
I sucked in a breath, relishing the scent of freshly baked bread and whatever pumpkin-spiced candle Ruby had burning throughout the house. Doug’s surprisingly hearty laughter filtered through the air, and the tension in my muscles lessened slightly.
But not nearly enough.
The past week had been a mixture of worrying about how he was doing and when he’d be back home. I think Ruby had gotten sick of me texting her every day for an update, but she sent them anyway—even if one was just a picture of Doug flipping off the camera with a message that said, “Get back to work.”
“Will you stop fussing over me?” he asked. I rounded the corner, watching him bat away Cleo’s hand as she tried to fill his cup with water. “I’m not completely useless, you know.”
“Oh, I know, Daddy,” she said, holding the pitcher of water out of his reach. “I’ll tell you what… If you can get it from me, I’ll let you fill it yourself.”
His eyes darted between his daughter and the jug, clearly trying to decide whether this was a battle he could win. “Fine.”
“That’s what I thought.” She looked up and found me staring, waving me inside. “Look, Bishop’s here. Maybe the two of you can see who is grumpier.”
“I’ve got him beat,” Doug grumbled.
I shook my head, forcing a laugh over the lump forming in my throat. “I dunno. I’ve been told I’m pretty unmanageable at times.”
Doug said something sarcastic, still fussing over something Cleo had done, but I’d stopped listening and turned away at the sound of approaching footsteps.
Lennox rounded the corner with two plates of fresh bread in her hands. Her hair was up in a twist, the bright red clip standing out against her silvery blonde strands. She’d changed into an old Wrangler t-shirt that nearly hid the little black shorts she had on beneath, leaving her long, tanned legs on display.
It reminded me of the way my own shirt had dwarfed her body, how I’d had to fight myself from getting hard at the thought of slowly lifting it to find her perfect pussy bared to me beneath the fabric.
